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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel pressured into online dating by therapist

6 replies

sunloungercrew · 24/08/2025 17:15

I would like to meet someone and have discussed this with my counsellor. Due to past trauma this is a big step for me and I need to take things slowly, which my counsellor has emphasised is absolutely ok.
I know my counsellor is in my corner and wants to help me, but I feel she is really plugging dating apps as the only way to find a partner. I've never used them previously and we have discussed my reservations about them in my sessions. I would prefer to meet someone at work or in social groups rather than online. However she has said several times that 'dating apps are how people are meeting these days' and I feel like she's implying there is no other way. I'm not totally against them and have actually ended up downloading a couple but I definitely feel a sense of unease and anxiety actually at feeling pressured that I have to do it this way. The sense of pressure feels too fast. I know my therapist would never want to make me feel this way and I trust her. AIBU and what should I do?

OP posts:
MyLimeGuide · 24/08/2025 17:17

Well, is there anyone eligible at work? No harm in giving it a go OP? 😍

MyLimeGuide · 24/08/2025 17:17

YANBU

AnotherDayAnotherDog · 24/08/2025 17:19

you could tell that you feel she’s pressuring you to use an app, and go from there?

Endofyear · 24/08/2025 17:22

Have you discussed with your therapist thay you feel she is pressuring you? Isn't it kind of her job to push you out of your comfort zone a little bit? Of course it's possible to meet someone at work or in a social group but if you really want to meet someone, you're more likely to on a dating app. Maybe have a discussion with her about how you want to take it at your own pace? Even if you meet a few people for dates, you don't have to take it any further with anyone if you don't want to.

Jellycatspyjamas · 24/08/2025 17:30

If you don’t want to join a dating app, don’t join one. It isn’t actually your therapists job to tell you how to meet people, it’s their job to help you understand what you want in a relationship and help you to be in the best place when you meet someone, but how you do that isn’t their job. If the therapist is routinely telling you to join an app I’d stop seeing them. Are you asking them how to meet people?

Confusedmum210 · 24/08/2025 17:32

Hey you’re a fully grown adult you don’t have to do anything she is asking you to do to do with dating apps that’s not what she’s there for. You can also tell her that and just focus on doing and talking about other things

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