My DH and I constantly argue over household chores - well, he constantly moans about not enough being done or “why has nobody done xxx” which means why haven’t I done it and I can’t decide if I’m being unreasonable.
He works 5 days a week pretty standard office hours - I work 4 days a week - similar hours on those days (joint decision for me to work less as I flex to make school holiday cover easier). We bring in similar money each month and all finances are shared.
We have 2 children, 1 primary and one secondary.
I do all “life admin” including sorting anything for school, sorting holiday care, any financial decisions, planning holidays etc. I do all washing and ironing, all food planning and cooking, clean downstairs loo and communal bathroom, change beds, do youngest room and pretty much all other cleaning (eldest does her own).
He washes up most of the time and wipes down kitchen worktops, mows the lawn once a fortnight, cleans his own bathroom (well I don’t do it) and takes the bin out. Plus does his share / possibly more of school runs / running kids about.
He genuinely feels he does an equal amount and I do too little. I admit I’m not as on top of the housework as I should be as my day off is often taken by dentist appts / school meetings / supermarket shopping / seeing family etc (I can switch my days for flexibility). But it’s like if it’s not “his mess / his use” he doesn’t feel he should have to do it.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable as I have a day off a week but equally I’m not a maid, I’ve started arguing back and when he moans and we just seem at constant loggerheads.