Email from doctor - does this sound a bit creepy or am I reading too much into it?

[HoneymoonGirl]

He’s a psychiatrist working entirely in private practice. He says:

‘Dear HMG,

‘I hope you are having a good summer. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are? Shall we get your next appointment booked in?

’Best wishes,

<First Name>’

He’s been thinking about me? Really?!

You need a different therapist. There has to be a relationship of trust, and rightly or wrongly you do not trust this older man not to have an ulterior motive in his relationship with you, so are reading 'creepy' into the message. It's not fair to you or him to continue to be his client. I'd recommend you find a female therapist.

Exactly this.

I’m a GP and if I see a patient who needs follow up, or blood tests or whatever, I will make a note of what they need, and schedule a date for myself to check it’s been arranged. If it hasn’t been, I’ll send them a text saying something along the lines of “I hope you are well, I would be grateful if you could arrange an appointment to discuss your progress”.

I do this because it’s my job. If they aren’t followed up and they get worse, then I might get into trouble. I contact them to cover my back and because I want to provide a decent service. It makes me feel really uncomfortable to think that they might be reading more into it, and thinking I fancy them!

Your psychiatrist has the additional issue of needing the money.

That said, I think you should change psychiatrist because you have clearly developed a strange attitude to this one, and it’s not fair on him to expose him to the risk of your misinterpretations.

Seems ok, a bit more familiar than I'd expect but not seeing it as inappropriate.

As others said, he will be keen to keep his patients visiting him, therefore more friendly tone than you'd get on NHS 💸

Yes the wording is creepy. A psychiatrist ought to know better. It’s too personal and open to interpretation by vulnerable people.

OP sounds like the poster who thought their child’s paediatrician had the hots for them.

I am a psychiatrist. This is not "creepy" in the least, but it's rather pushy for my liking. He didn't write it though, you do know that? His secretary did, after going through his patient list and finding all those who have not yet booked their next appointment after the summer break. Making sure he keeps his patient list.

Yeah that would be my thought. Like chatting about what we did for the weekend at the start of a client meeting.

I do have a family member who had an inappropriate therapist, and that was a whole saga, so like I said in my initial message, context is key. But this alone sounds like he is just trying to put a generic personal touch on a standard scheduling email.

He's thinking about his bank balance

@mycatismyworld what do you mean when you say your psychiatrist is a letch?

Yes. I am in private practice. I think about all my patients quite a bit and as PP says its an important part of therapeutic practice.

It can be very difficult for some patients as they are dealing with feelings of insecurity, paranoia, insignificance, and general issues of distrust and abandonment in core relationships.

End the therapy formally or explore your anxious feelings with this person in session. Both are perfectly reasonable things to do.

He’s been thinking about me? Really?!

Well yes… since you’re his patient.

Doctors tend to think about their patients, especially if he’s treating you for mental health.

It will be a mixture of wanting income, and being genuinely concerned/interested in your well-being.

You don’t have to carry on seeing him if this makes you uncomfortable though.

Exactly. He's trying to keep it friendly, but he needs to know if you are coming back, otherwise he should tout for another patient to fill the slot.

Not creepy at all. “How you are” is literally his job. He’s not saying he’s been spending the summer fantasising about what you look like in a lacy red bra.

A psychiatrist will also know that other people will interpret 'It has been 4 weeks since your last appointment. Please book your next via this link' as too impersonal and their doctor is distancing themselves due to only being interested in the money.

Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Did he write it or get his PA to send it to all patients who he's not seen for some time? Maybe he asked his PA to chase up old patients and these are her words?

He could have just said, 'I'm wondering how you are'.

It's just a nudge to make another appt.

If you feel he's lecherous and you are not comfortable with him, see someone else.

Maybe you need to talk to him about over-thinking his emails?

Thinking of you ( in a professional , caring sense) might have been a better phrase to use. I'm sure that is what he meant.

I find it creepy. Like he's been jerking off while imagining you at the beach.

spent too much money on his summer hols...

You have a very vivid imagination.

I read that as Dr Gotta Eat You Now 😆

The psychiatrist and me both

I think you’re reading too much into it but definitely something to discuss in therapy, whether with him or with someone different.

Doesn't sound concerning. It is just marketing and customer service rolled into one. If you have an ongoing relationship and you've cancelled past appointments or something then there might be more of a concern aspect. But nothing alarming and nothing to indicate he fancies you. I'd say his phraising is good since psychiatry is more personal. If it was the same as my dental cleaning reminder then that would be terrible customer service.

The fact that he's a psychiatrist makes it even creepier. 🤢