I don't know if it's exactly the right term, but I feel self-conscious at work and in groups.
It sounds strange but my surname is awful, it just is. It's a name nobody would want, and at work our full names are displayed on Teams and email.
I hate seeing it there and wonder if people secretly laugh at me, I know it can be changed by deed poll but I'd feel strange considering I'm not moving to a new area or anything, it'll suddenly be like, right call me by this now.
Aside from that I always worry if I've got weird mannerisms or tics or anything I don't know about, I've filmed myself speaking plenty of times and can't see anything.
I know it was years ago now but I remember at school a friend said to me, "No wonder you can't get a boyfriend, there's so much wrong with you."
20 years later it's stuck. People are nice to me and seem to like me but I just feel anxious.
Does anyone else feel like this? I know people will say that people are too focused on themselves to notice you, and whilst that's true to some extent I find people can still talk about others and notice what they're doing.