Driving ability declining

[shellyleppard]

My darling dad is 80 . I'm a bit concerned as his driving reflexes are not as sharp as they used to be. Hes pulled out in front of a bus and had another near miss yesterday. He said its the other cars fault for not being in the right lane......😵‍💫 I know his reflexes are slowing down but I'm getting worried now. The problem is he lives in the countryside and the nearest shop is over a mile away. Aaaggh!!!

Did you see the thing in the news about over 70/75 yr olds having to have a mandatory eye test?
I have similar concerns with my mum op who is 80 in a few months. So much so I’d not want her to drive one of my children on a long journey. The problem is they won’t be told? Also as you say they want their independence. However what if they cause a crash and kill someone?! Maybe I’m controversial but I think there should be mandatory refresher /driving tests for over 70s!

@firefoxx absolutely agree.....it needs enforcement and soon before there is a tragedy. Funny thing is my dad had a mild stroke just before Christmas. Couldn't drive for six weeks after and until he passed all the sight tests..... which he did!?!! Maybe they need to do a test for reaction times too.....🤔

Im in the same boat boat, very rural, no public transport

Mum is 86 and while her journey is just 3 miles to where she wants to be, we are seeing a lot more `" trolley hits to the car"

She's had a fall tonight - clear floor - only she didn't put the lights om. Im praying to * that the no longer fit to drive " conversation is going to be listened to PDQ

Please please address this with them or the gp . I’ve been a driving assessor for those with disabilities and older age and have taken many licences away as people are actually unable to read signs, react quick enough , cannot fully feel car pedals and if there were a redirection on the roads would not cope , which is all very dangerous to others . We used to say to them that retiring from driving is like retiring from work , as we are not the same as we were many years ago bodily wise and would feel awful if we hurt anyone . That usually helped people accept the decision

I think a good test is would you put your children (if you have any) in the car with them. If not, a firm conversation and potentially reporting to the DVLA if they won’t listen. If you don’t think your children are safe in the car with them, don’t let them endanger other people either.

@cleo333 trust me I have asked him to give up driving....he refuses to. Only thing I can do is report him to the DVLA. As I said he passed all the tests in January after his stroke so.....

@suki1964 its so bloody difficult isn't it. Hope your mum is okay after the fall x

You can report to DVLA and they’ll invite him for a retest.
My uncle has been reported by the hospital and he has one coming up.

I'm afraid the DVLA WON'T automatically invite him for a retest on a family member's report. The hospital reporting someone is a different matter entirely.

I reported my Dad and all that gapprned was they referred him to his GP. The GP (apparently) asked him if he thought he was fit to drive, Dad said yes and that was the ride of it.

A while later I reported him again after the eye clinic told him his sight had massively deteriorated (they didn't report him to the DVLA, mind). Following this, he was summoned for a sight test and told there ge could no longer drive.

I think sight issues get a better response from the DVLA than reaction issues.

What healthcare providers is he under? My FIL was advised by the Alzheimers team that he must stop driving, and then his heart specialists said if they'd have known he was still driving they'd have advised him to stop atleast a year prior.
The only problem being that you'll need to get the car moved quickly once he's advised and the shopping situation! Or they both become a real bone of contention... First few weeks will be hard because if your dad's anything like FIL was, he would pop out for a drive and some secret sweets away from MIL (I combatted that by bringing him the odd bar of chocolate and giving him it and joining MIL in the kitchen so she didn't know!)

I had a friend in Germany who had a stroke in his 30s - he wasn't allowed to drive again until he had passed a reactions test, which was sitting in front of a screen with a steering wheel and pedals, and he had to drive along the "road" while animals and small children ran out in front of him, cars suddenly stopped or drove towards him in the wrong side, that sort of thing. Seemed a good idea to me. Eyesight is important, bug it's not the only part of driving.

Sadly he is not going to improve so you are going to have to deal with it sooner or later. Has he thought about how he is going to get his shopping/get to and from places as he ages?

When my mum was driving with cateracts we threatened to report her if a)she didn't stop driving and b) she didn't get them seen to.

She was stubborn as anything, "oh I'm fine" "I only drive to x and I know the way, they aren't that bad." The moment she went to the opticians, she stopped driving. They'll pay attention to a professional rather than their child who they just see as nagging them.

She's now had the cateracts removed and has 20/20 vision again for the first time in her adult life and is back driving.

@Glitchymn1 thank you I will try. Knowing him he would bloody pass it;!

We had similar, my DGF’s take was ‘I’ve been driving these lanes for 60 years, I know where the turns are even if I can’t see them’ 🤯

Our solution was to ‘lose’ the car keys. That gave us a breathing space to persuade him that it was time to stop.

Try him on some mock hazard perception tests, all available online.

We had similar, my DGF’s take was ‘I’ve been driving these lanes for 60 years, I know where the turns are even if I can’t see them’ 🤯

Surely the point is more about hazards, like an oncoming car on the wrong side of the road, a child running out into the road?

Agreed. Your eyesight would have to be appalling to not be able to see the bushes that are presumably at the side of the lane. My DH has bad eyesight and has never been allowed a licence, but even he could drive a car down a lane without hitting trees/bushes. Doesn’t mean he’d be able to spot a cyclist/pedestrian/horse rider before it was too late!

@VickyEadieofThigh thank you very much. Your response has helped x

I apologise for not correcting the typos in my post (having just looked back at it!).

If you go the reporting on the grounds of sight route, be sure to drive the person to and from the sight test (don't let them drive there themselves!).