Is it ever appropriate to hug a naked child?

[Anon8642]

Just that really. If the child (F) is naked, should they routinely have a hug from the parent of the opposite sex (M)? Until what age/stage? And should that parent also be allowed to share a bed with them (not naked)?

Child claims nothing is wrong and they "like it". I am worried, but I am not sure how bad this is/what level of help to get. Nothing overtly bad/sexual is happening, but it just feels wrong.

I think it's fine for a child to hug their parent of whatever gender until they feel uncomfortable about it!

I think my dds were 7-8ish when they started wanting privacy from their df.

Why are you worried? How old is the child? Clearly 15 would be a far different situation to 5.

I would say pre-puberty. Maybe up to 10-11 max? My daughter is only 5 though, and my husband (her dad) is already wary about boundaries with both kids (boy and girl) especially touching/washing. They are never really in less than pants though unless washing.

Pubescent

I hugged my naked children all the time, what is wrong with that? They quickly got to the self conscious stage around 5 so it naturally stopped.

OK I would remind posters at this point to not share details of their naked children, girls or boys.

OP can you articulate your worries?

Is this after bathtime and she is wrapped in a towel?

No, not covered.

Until they are uncomfortable. Our now almost 9 year old boy became uncomfortable about six. Our 7 year old girl doesn't care yet. She's neurodivergent if that makes a difference. Our 5 year old girl also doesn't care.

So between 8 and 14 then 🙄

Why so secretive op?

Any SEN?

For eg does this happen when your little girl is at her dad's? She's what, age 10, 11?

Yes, does that make it better?

Ridiculous to post this without the whole story and more information. Impossible to give an appropriate answer.

Yes

My 6 year old gets hot at night and often loses his pyjamas he'll come and get in our bed in the morning for a cuddle, I don't see an issue with that. How old is she?

@Anon8642 not better/worse but highly relevant if posters are answering “until they want to stop” as obviously children with SEN may well develop these boundaries at very different times.

And at what point is it the parents responsibility to say that they are not comfortable, if the child never gets to that point?

Cor I love cuddling my naked DC. Well, the 6 year old.
The 9 year old is getting more self
Conscious but quite frankly if she wasn’t I’d be snuggling up too. That lovely warm soft skin!

out eldest slept regularly in our bed (with either of us) until 11.

We all hug, wash and sleep together naked and kids are mid-late primary age. They aren’t bothered and we are not paedos so I don’t really get why it would be inappropriate, it’s natural. Would stop the moment the child expresses discomfort with it though of course.

For me, puberty. Not sure why but when the body starts to be less childlike if the child doesn't put boundaries in place the adult probably should. I'm not taking about care needs, if they need support changing or toileting etc.

To recap, your little girl aged about 10, 11 years old, has SEN. She stays with her dad regularly and has commented (recently?) that she sleeps without her nightwear in daddy's bed. You are starting to feel uncomfortable with this arrangement. Are you able to talk with dad about this or are relations frosty?

I would say they should say they're uncomfortable when they become uncomfortable. Do you have reason to believe the other parent is being inappropriate?

She said she doesn't sleep naked.

Imagine if the OP just gave the necessary info rather than one word replies prompting other posters to fill in all the gaps. Jesus, like pulling teeth. 🙄