'Tomboys' in 2025

[sunshine244]

When I was a child I was very much a Tomboy type of girl. Always in trousers, playing outdoors, not interested in makeup or fashion etc. I've not really changed much now I'm in my 40s although I do occasionally like to dress up for weddings etc. I still think of myself as a woman 100%.

I was chatting to a much younger woman recently who identifies as non binary. She said that she realised she was non binary for exactly the same things. That she felt her taste in clothes, interests etc means she doesn't feel feminine.

I found it really interesting, and I wondered if its a generational thing. Does the concept of tomboy still exist? Does having a non binary option mean that gender roles have actually become more stereotyped for men and women? This isn't in any way an anti non-binary thought- I'm just curious whether younger people view gender stereotypes differently. I don't mind at all how people choose to define themselves but I wonder if thr concept of a tomboy is dying out?

People are so easily pushed into labels these days, its a shame that they can't just be who they are without having to label it.

I desperately wanted to be a boy when I was a child, refused anything feminine coded and loved it when people mistook me for a boy. George from the Famous Five was my idol. Puberty reconciled me with being female, eventually, but still am not very feminine at all but very much am a woman, and glad to be one. Feel very grateful I grew up when I did, and not today.

@ImGoingUpstairsToTakeOffMyHat on Amazon..

The thing is that I don't/ didn't 'identify' as anything, I am a woman, 'tomboy' was the description used for me as a child. My hero(ine) was George from Famous Five. The tomboy stuff came from wanting to do the same things as the boys and not to be prevented 'because you are a girl' which was still very strong as a child of the 70s. Girls in the main now can do most of the things I wasn't allowed to do, cubs, scouts, football, rugby, cricket. Trousers for girls at school wasn't allowed, we fought for that to be changed.

Tomboy here too, but never had any attraction to women. Being a tomboy and non-binary may be related in some people but it isn't in any way something that people should assume or expect.

I hated wearing dresses, was more likely to be climbing trees than playing with dolls, and I'm sure my poor mum felt cheated of the daughter she wanted, which was a traditional girly girl.

For me I've realised a lot of the clothing side is sensory issues. I don't like bare legs or tights or skirts etc. I prefer a consistent feeling over my body. Leggings or jeans are perfect. Similarly with most jewellery I find it annoying or uncomfortable. My hair I've had the same style most of my life and don't like products or accessories in it. Yes, I'm probably autistic!

The other stuff - being outdoorsy etc I just prefer. I don't think thats a male/female thing as such, but tomboy is an easy phrase to use. Perhaps it needs a different one that doesn't have boy in tbe title as I also don't think these are boyish things to like.

One thing I find really sad, as a mum of two boys, is that its far more problematic if a boy like girls things than vice versa. One of my boys loves pink, glittery stuff, ponies etc. He wanted to do ballet when he was 4 but even at that age backed out when he saw there were only girls in pink tutus at the taster session. It's really sad. He has been told by others that he must be a girl or non binary and hes only 9!! It's rubbish - he's just a boy who likes cool stuff that happens to be traditionally girly. Even with clubs.. boys can't join brownies but girls can join cubs. What does that say to young boys?

yeah it becoming a scary parenting trend this my child is x old and identifies as nonsense I dread to think of what these poor kids face in the future

One of my boys wanted to do dance, we were lucky that a village dance group let him join, it was 'disco' / modern rather than ballet, he wore loose jeans, t shirt and overshirt ( 1990s) He is married and still likes some more 'feminine' things, his wife jokes about him being more girly than her.

I dread to think what I would have been labeled as these days as a child.

I hated dresses, loved the A team and I played with toy cars. Perfectly normal behaviour for a little girl.

My 11 year old dd has always been the same way. A year or so ago, someone asked me if she was “non binary” or trans and I lost my shit.

She doesn’t like dresses and likes riding skateboards. That doesn’t make her any less female. Dd already hates all that nonsense, thank god, she’s already been subjected to the bullshit at school and has spoken up against it.

DD’s primary school had lunchtime ballet classes for reception and year 1. One of the boys was a fantastic natural dancer, and desperately wanted to join in. His parents wouldn’t let him as it was “for girls”

sad thing was I think once one boy joined there were a few others that would have signed up too. As it was it remained very much a “girly” thing while the boys played football in the playground.

i took dd to see Carlos Acosta after that specifically to show her that boys could dance as well as girls. (Also women’s cricket etc).

I still believe all this “natural affinity” for stereotypical activities is societal and parent led. Even when parents swear they don’t, it’s completely endemic.