to murder exDH?

[parrotywotsit]

Obviously I will not be murdering him but I would quite like to. It's his weekend with DS, Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm, he announced last week he would no longer be able to have him Saturday day time. Had to cancel my plans to accommodate. He said he would probably finish work at lunch time so would call when I could bring DS round. Well, we're not just hanging round but if we're free I can bring him a bit earlier. Secretly hoped for at 5:30 so I could make the evening bit of my plans. Guess what? It's 5:20 and not a dicky bird.

I shall rise above it but he's an absolute wanker.

Definitely not unreasonable to be feeling murdery. He is indeed a wanker of the highest order

What a prince. Is he having to work? Is this now the new normal? If so I would be putting in a new claim with CMS to reflect the new hours

I wouldn’t wait for him to ring as I bet he is loving the idea of having you on the hook for him to let you know when he is free. Can you send him a text to say you are going out at x time and if you do not hear from him you will be taking your LO with

So has he not seen him at all so far this weekend seeing as though he usually has him from Friday at 6pm? What was his reason for not having him, work? Can't he come get him after work today and still have him until 6pm tomorrow?

My ExDH used to do this stuff ALL the time, then go AWOL for the whole weekend. 🙄

I'm relaying my patio at the moment if you need a hand burial spot (joking obviously)

What a tosser. Sorry OP

He is working. Being flexible isn't a problem in itself, the lack of notice is. But I have just gone with a breezy fine - its not like I'm going to drop a five year old off anyway and have a row in front him. As far as he's concerned I was so thrilled about an extra day together we had to go out for cake to celebrate.

He's just messaged saying he'll be late so it's 6:30. It was originally 6 unless he phoned to say he'd finished early - I told him he could ring but if we were doing something we weren't dropping everything he'd just have to wait.

Unless you want this to become a pattern, you need to tell him that if he can’t care for your DC when it’s his ‘time’, he needs to organise childcare himself and not rely on you.

Typo

My ex used to cancel a weekend and ALWAYS slipped it to the following weekend, so he only saw his child every third week for a day and a half. Expect him to get more interested once your dc is a fun older teen (who reflects well in him).

Tell him as he’s clearly changing the goalposts that you will inform CMS immediately so they can change/increase your CMS and you may find he suddenly changes his mind

If you are near Lancaster that would be very much appreciated! 😂

I'd be more concerned about how it affected my DC, rather than my own plans. 🤷🏼‍♀️
It's happened innumerable times with my XwankerH.

And if you relied on him to work? It's ridiculous that she was expected to drop everything to accommodate him they are not husband and wife they are not a team

I didn't suggest they were a team?

This is unkind. Of course OP is concerned about her DC, that"s why she's being breezy and taking him out for cake to celebrate an extra day with him. But she's allowed to be pissed off at having to cancel plans she had outside her role as a mother too.

This is unkind. Of course OP is concerned about her DC, that"s why she's being breezy and taking him out for cake to celebrate an extra day with him. But she's allowed to be pissed off at having to cancel plans she had outside her role as a mother too.

Sorry I'm in Scotland but if you get one of those giant Amazon boxes I'm sure we can get it couriered up 😆

Sounds completely reasonable.
I’ll happily give you an alibi.

If he can’t accommodate his child during his scheduled weekend then he needs to sort out some alternative arrangements that don’t include you. Not your problem. Would he drop his plans so you could work extra at the weekend? Don’t think so!

Either that or the current schedule needs re jigging if he keeps booking work when he’s meant to have his child

He is acting like they are still together expecting her to pick up the slack for him

I don't see this as him acting like they are still together/a team: seems more like him not valuing OP's time and simply expecting OP to deal with it.