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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

uncomfirtable journey

401 replies

planejourney · 23/08/2025 15:09

Interested in people's opinions.
I had a recent journey from hell when an obese/morbidly obese person sat next to me on a flight for 6 hours.
He and his partner both booked aisle seats next to each other and both were morbidly obese. I was in a middle seat and another passenger in the window seat.
He struggled to get into the seat and had to rearrange himself and move bits around in order to get the armrest down. Once in place, the armrest disappeared. He basically overflowed into my seat and had to cross his arms for me to have any room. His right leg was in my space and his left leg was in the aisle. He was unable to get the table down in front of him.
Unfortunately I had to spend the full journey with body contact with this person. This not only invaded my personal space but was also really hot! It was a night flight and the flight was full, so I didn't want to disturb people sleeping by asking if a swap/move was possible. This person proceded to fall asleep and snore very loudly to a point where people were turning around. The trolley or people could not get past his leg in the aisle so he had to keep moving it. To make matters worse, the person in front reclined their seat right back. I felt trapped!
I had a few looks of pity and the staff could clearly see how uncomfortable it was.
AIBU to think he should have bought a second seat? Airlines should make it clear and consider the comfort and safety of all passengers. I paid for a seat and got half a one. Did this person lack consideration for others?

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 23/08/2025 17:36

GingerbreadChaiTea · 23/08/2025 15:21

But that wouldn’t work as when only one person checked in the other would have been freed up.

You book an "extra comfort seat" and they don't reassign it. I only know because I've booked them to take a musical instrument a seat.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 23/08/2025 17:36

Bloody hell, I'm sitting here imagining hot sweaty fat noisy (stinky?) man's snorey breath on me all night and I'm feeling stressed just thinking about it. Gonna hide this thread now. Just yuk.

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:38

SaltAirAndTheRust · 23/08/2025 17:25

Op I find it interesting people are more bothered by you potentially shaming the man rather than what he did to you!

Which is part of the reason I name changed. I've clearly stated i was obese myself. It's not about shaming anyone. This is clearly a problem and it is something the airlines should address for the comfort and safety of all passengers. But TUIs response was around discrimination and another poster said it is not a protected characteristic. Who knows!

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 23/08/2025 17:39

siucra · 23/08/2025 15:45

I think it sounds awful. However I feel sorry for him. Perhaps it is airlines who should provide a few larger seats to save everyone this embarrassment?

First class?

MaryMungoMidgley · 23/08/2025 17:39

Very difficult situation!

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2025 17:40

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2025 16:57

I think if you buy a seat on an airplane you need to expect all sorts of people to be on it. You were mildly inconvenienced by someone else’s body. Nobody died and there were far worse people you could have sat next to.

You were mildly inconvenienced by someone else’s body.

It's not for you to decide the level of inconvenience the OP felt by having a strange man pressed up against her body, for 6 hours.

Nobody died and there were far worse people you could have sat next to.

I'm not sure the OP should feel grateful she wasn't pressed up against a dead body for 6 hours.

That's a very low bar to set and also very easy for you to say because it wasn't you it happened to.

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2025 17:43

Well it only happened to OP so I guess it’s “very easy” for all of us to comment. Realistically when you are out in the general public you don’t get to pick and choose who is “allowed “ there and who isn’t.

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 23/08/2025 17:43

I feel claustrophobic just reading this 😳 I wouldn’t have coped, honestly

OSTMusTisNT · 23/08/2025 17:44

YANBU, I had similar coming back from NYC and had to guard the floor space like a territorial pit bull to stop him shoving his foot under the chair in front of me i.e exactly where my feet are meant to go.

Another time a very large lady asked if I could put the armrest up but I said no as the rest of her was oozing into my seat like a melted ice cream.

Sorry, but I've paid for my seat and don't want to share it with a strangers overspill.

(I tend to upgrade to emergency exit rows if I can as you aren't allowed those if you need a seat belt extender 🤫.

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:47

OSTMusTisNT · 23/08/2025 17:44

YANBU, I had similar coming back from NYC and had to guard the floor space like a territorial pit bull to stop him shoving his foot under the chair in front of me i.e exactly where my feet are meant to go.

Another time a very large lady asked if I could put the armrest up but I said no as the rest of her was oozing into my seat like a melted ice cream.

Sorry, but I've paid for my seat and don't want to share it with a strangers overspill.

(I tend to upgrade to emergency exit rows if I can as you aren't allowed those if you need a seat belt extender 🤫.

I wonder why you are not allowed the emergency exit seats if you are not allowed a seatbelt extender? Are airlines claiming this is for health and safety?

OP posts:
Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 17:48

Op were you flying alone?

SaltAirAndTheRust · 23/08/2025 17:48

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:47

I wonder why you are not allowed the emergency exit seats if you are not allowed a seatbelt extender? Are airlines claiming this is for health and safety?

Edited

It's because they believe that if you can't fit in the seat, your mobility will be too reduced to be effective during an emergency

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2025 17:50

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:47

I wonder why you are not allowed the emergency exit seats if you are not allowed a seatbelt extender? Are airlines claiming this is for health and safety?

Edited

You’re not allowed in those seats if you have a learning disability either.

EmpressaurusKitty · 23/08/2025 17:50

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 17:48

Op were you flying alone?

Why do you keep asking - is it significant somehow?

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 17:50

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:09

This is it. The 2 people sat on the other side ie with his partner also had the same issue. They swapped seats so the smaller on was in the middle. They were making a fuss and tried to catch my eye but I didn't really want to acknowledge, again, as im not rude... if it happens again, I guess I would have a quiet word with staff when out of the person site and handle it sensitively

They weren’t being rude. Making a fuss about this is not rude. I’m actually quite incensed that you’re calling them rude for trying to get some attention over being squashed into their seat, the seat they paid for.

It is not rude to be assertive when you’re being taken advantage of or someone else is impacting you because of their own selfish behaviour.

Izzywizzy85 · 23/08/2025 17:51

YANBU. I would have found this situation genuinely distressing and would have had to say something. Awful.

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:52

SaltAirAndTheRust · 23/08/2025 17:48

It's because they believe that if you can't fit in the seat, your mobility will be too reduced to be effective during an emergency

you'd think it would be safer for them to be there? get them out quickly?

OP posts:
Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2025 17:54

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:52

you'd think it would be safer for them to be there? get them out quickly?

Perhaps they prefer able bodied passengers to help lug the door open?

handsdownthebest · 23/08/2025 17:54

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 15:32

He fit in to an economy aeroplane seat and managed to get the arm rest down

He can’t have been the whale that the OP is conveying him to have been

Well he sounds pretty fat to me...are you the passenger? 😉

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:54

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 17:50

They weren’t being rude. Making a fuss about this is not rude. I’m actually quite incensed that you’re calling them rude for trying to get some attention over being squashed into their seat, the seat they paid for.

It is not rude to be assertive when you’re being taken advantage of or someone else is impacting you because of their own selfish behaviour.

I think they were trying to catch my eye but I didn't want to engage as I would feel I was being rude. Everyone I guess reacts differently. Maybe I should have been more like them? they made it very clear to his partner when they swapped around, a little unfair maybe

OP posts:
SaltAirAndTheRust · 23/08/2025 17:54

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:52

you'd think it would be safer for them to be there? get them out quickly?

Not what I was told - it's due to the needing to open the door etc.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/08/2025 17:54

IMO people who are fat enough to overflow more than just a very little into the next seat, should have to pay for 2. And it’s about time the airlines began to enforce it. Why should people like the OP have to suffer a good deal of cramped discomfort when they’re paying the same as people who are seated comfortably?

Maybe the thought of having to pay twice would encourage some of the morbidly obese to lose weight.

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 17:56

EmpressaurusKitty · 23/08/2025 17:50

Why do you keep asking - is it significant somehow?

I have asked twice

because if the op was flying with someone, she could have asked them to have had a discrete word with the stewardess prior to flight departing

because the op answer “on holiday”! Bizarrely so I’m guessing flying alone? Which is nothing to be ashamed of OP

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:57

Ohthatsabitshit · 23/08/2025 17:54

Perhaps they prefer able bodied passengers to help lug the door open?

no idea, maybe so... its an interesting thread. Would love to debate it with an airline and get their take on it. I do feel everyone is so very careful now as not to offend. However look at this factually and objectively, I really dont feel its fair

OP posts:
MaryMungoMidgley · 23/08/2025 17:57

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/08/2025 17:54

IMO people who are fat enough to overflow more than just a very little into the next seat, should have to pay for 2. And it’s about time the airlines began to enforce it. Why should people like the OP have to suffer a good deal of cramped discomfort when they’re paying the same as people who are seated comfortably?

Maybe the thought of having to pay twice would encourage some of the morbidly obese to lose weight.

no, they'd eat more to make themselves feel better about not being able to fly