Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

uncomfirtable journey

401 replies

planejourney · 23/08/2025 15:09

Interested in people's opinions.
I had a recent journey from hell when an obese/morbidly obese person sat next to me on a flight for 6 hours.
He and his partner both booked aisle seats next to each other and both were morbidly obese. I was in a middle seat and another passenger in the window seat.
He struggled to get into the seat and had to rearrange himself and move bits around in order to get the armrest down. Once in place, the armrest disappeared. He basically overflowed into my seat and had to cross his arms for me to have any room. His right leg was in my space and his left leg was in the aisle. He was unable to get the table down in front of him.
Unfortunately I had to spend the full journey with body contact with this person. This not only invaded my personal space but was also really hot! It was a night flight and the flight was full, so I didn't want to disturb people sleeping by asking if a swap/move was possible. This person proceded to fall asleep and snore very loudly to a point where people were turning around. The trolley or people could not get past his leg in the aisle so he had to keep moving it. To make matters worse, the person in front reclined their seat right back. I felt trapped!
I had a few looks of pity and the staff could clearly see how uncomfortable it was.
AIBU to think he should have bought a second seat? Airlines should make it clear and consider the comfort and safety of all passengers. I paid for a seat and got half a one. Did this person lack consideration for others?

OP posts:
WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 18:53

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 17:08

And your ex didn’t feel mortified when he shoe horned himself into an aeroplane seat, nudging fellows passengers out the way, taking over both arm rests? @WhiteNoiseBlur

He absolutely did. Very sensitive man. We couldn’t afford an extra seat. So embarrassing for him - he was totally aware of the hate emanating from the seat next to him. Doesn’t make him a bad/inferior person to be judged like an animal. But thanks

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 18:55

BabyCatFace · 23/08/2025 18:19

What a shitty attitude you have. Someone else should accept being physically touched all flight, crushed into a small space leading to discomfort as she can't stretch herself properly and the emotional discomfort of being so close to a complete stranger because why, #bekind? Fuck that. People who can't fit in one seat need to buy two. That's the end of it. If they don't, they don't deserve sympathy for inconveniencing others!

A shitty attitude for showing some empathy for someone else?!! You arsehole

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 18:55

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 18:53

He absolutely did. Very sensitive man. We couldn’t afford an extra seat. So embarrassing for him - he was totally aware of the hate emanating from the seat next to him. Doesn’t make him a bad/inferior person to be judged like an animal. But thanks

Not quite so mortified that it stopped him from booking a flight knowing that the passenger next to him was in for one hell of an uncomfortable flight.

Not quite so mortified as to lose weight so that he didn’t spill over in to other seats

PeloMom · 23/08/2025 18:56

GingerbreadChaiTea · 23/08/2025 15:21

But that wouldn’t work as when only one person checked in the other would have been freed up.

No, I see it lately as an option in a lot of airlines. Don’t know how exactly it works but both seats are blocked for that person. You can do it if you want extra space for non- body size related reasons too.

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 18:56

a “very sensitive man” would not have booked the flight knowing that the person next to him was going to suffer for hours

girlsyearapart · 23/08/2025 18:56

@EmpressaurusKitty no she wasn’t apologetic and fell asleep a fair bit. Just as I was thinking of saying something she turned and ‘oh are all of these your children ? They’re so sweet!’
kind of took the wind out of my sails 😂

girlsyearapart · 23/08/2025 18:58

They are 17,16,15,13 it’s been a kong time since they were called sweet !

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 18:58

BabyCatFace · 23/08/2025 18:16

Why do you feel sorry for them? They should have bought two seats. They knew they were going to fuck up someone else's flight, they were selfish in the extreme

You don’t know why he was flying that day. Maybe he had no choice, maybe he had no extra money, maybe he hoped he wouldn’t be treated like an animal due to his weight?

girlsyearapart · 23/08/2025 18:58

*long

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 19:00

Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 18:55

Not quite so mortified that it stopped him from booking a flight knowing that the passenger next to him was in for one hell of an uncomfortable flight.

Not quite so mortified as to lose weight so that he didn’t spill over in to other seats

Gosh. Take note, bigger ladies - you are hated and not welcome on a plane unless you book cattle-sized seats. You are not allowed to have a holiday. Or travel. Best you stay within your own home causing no inconvenience to anyone else at all 🙄🙄

PeloMom · 23/08/2025 19:01

planejourney · 23/08/2025 17:47

I wonder why you are not allowed the emergency exit seats if you are not allowed a seatbelt extender? Are airlines claiming this is for health and safety?

Edited

Yes if you need an extender you may be too large to move swiftly in case of emergency and/ or block the emergency exit.

Spookygoose · 23/08/2025 19:01

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 15:25

When he put his foot into your footwell, meaning his leg would have been pushed towards yours and his knee right in your space, why didn’t you say anything about that? Tell him to get his leg out of your footwell. And why didn’t you speak to the flight crew and tell them you needed a full seat, not half of one.

You have a voice but you didn’t use it. Why not? Who cares about embarrassing them. They should have been removed from the flight but because you say there meek and quiet, nothing was done. You have to make it the flight crew’s problem.

These replies always make me laugh. “Well, why didn’t you say something? If it was ME, the fearless badass that I am, I’d have stood up, looked him right in the eye and told him to get his fat ass to another seat”!! Yeah right, you’d have done the exact same thing. She’s not meek, it’s called common decency. Easy to think you’d be brave in that situation while sitting behind your computer. You wouldn’t in real life.

Queen0fTheNorth · 23/08/2025 19:02

planejourney · 23/08/2025 18:52

True, but they failed to acknowledge the importance of the comfort of all passengers and safety. The air hostess/people using the toilet had to ask each time for him to move his leg. His arm fell on me when he was asleep etc etc but in an evacuation id have no chance. He was unhappy I asked him to get up for me to use the toilet

Edited

Oh I agree completely, sounds like their response was inadequate. I just wanted to point out that there are more than 9 types of discrimination.

People tend to misunderstand discrimination in general, thinking it's always a bad thing/unfair/unlawful. But we all discriminate every day. I discriminate for a living, nothing unlawful about it.

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:02

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 19:00

Gosh. Take note, bigger ladies - you are hated and not welcome on a plane unless you book cattle-sized seats. You are not allowed to have a holiday. Or travel. Best you stay within your own home causing no inconvenience to anyone else at all 🙄🙄

Well, if you can’t fit in the seat then yes. Buy two seats so you fit or don’t travel. That’s actually the rule on almost all airlines; they just never enforce it for fear of social media backlash…. Probably from people like you.

notimagain · 23/08/2025 19:02

@planejourney

in an evacuation id have no chance.

I wasn't being flippant earlier when I mentioned going over the seat in front - if you or other posters.find yourself.in the same situation again it's always worth considering options..

An evacuation is not time to.play "after you" ...

IVbumble · 23/08/2025 19:03

notimagain · 23/08/2025 18:51

Good job I'm not anyone connect with plane construction as I can't see any weight limit in that document.

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:04

Spookygoose · 23/08/2025 19:01

These replies always make me laugh. “Well, why didn’t you say something? If it was ME, the fearless badass that I am, I’d have stood up, looked him right in the eye and told him to get his fat ass to another seat”!! Yeah right, you’d have done the exact same thing. She’s not meek, it’s called common decency. Easy to think you’d be brave in that situation while sitting behind your computer. You wouldn’t in real life.

I would in real life… because I have. It isn’t hard. You don’t need to shout in their face. You speak to the cabin crew. But it is also very easy to say, “Please move your leg from my footwell.” I’ve said it, never been punched in the face for it.

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:05

Spookygoose · 23/08/2025 19:01

These replies always make me laugh. “Well, why didn’t you say something? If it was ME, the fearless badass that I am, I’d have stood up, looked him right in the eye and told him to get his fat ass to another seat”!! Yeah right, you’d have done the exact same thing. She’s not meek, it’s called common decency. Easy to think you’d be brave in that situation while sitting behind your computer. You wouldn’t in real life.

Haha I know, im certainly not meek. I wouldn't be in the profession I am if I was. Decent - yes. The reason I started the thread, to check on it and my thoughts, so far IANBU.

OP posts:
Returnofjude · 23/08/2025 19:07

WhiteNoiseBlur · 23/08/2025 19:00

Gosh. Take note, bigger ladies - you are hated and not welcome on a plane unless you book cattle-sized seats. You are not allowed to have a holiday. Or travel. Best you stay within your own home causing no inconvenience to anyone else at all 🙄🙄

What a weird response

your ex was hugely overweight and spilled over on to other seats

He wasn’t “very sensitive man”

Quite the bloody opposite in fact! 😆

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:07

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:04

I would in real life… because I have. It isn’t hard. You don’t need to shout in their face. You speak to the cabin crew. But it is also very easy to say, “Please move your leg from my footwell.” I’ve said it, never been punched in the face for it.

Edited

ive explained already, there was nowhere to move his leg. His legs were together, on in my side and one in the aisle. The only way he could do thst would be to turn his whole body facing the aisle

OP posts:
BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:10

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:07

ive explained already, there was nowhere to move his leg. His legs were together, on in my side and one in the aisle. The only way he could do thst would be to turn his whole body facing the aisle

Yup. That’s what he would have to do. And I’d have no problem telling him to move his leg from my footwell. As a rape survivor, I will not spent a flight with a strange man on top of me and with his leg crossed over into my space. I do not care if he has to turn himself into the aisle. And I am not rude for telling someone to move their leg off of me.

notimagain · 23/08/2025 19:18

IVbumble · 23/08/2025 19:03

Good job I'm not anyone connect with plane construction as I can't see any weight limit in that document.

There's no weight limit as such, (as in a max passenger weight), it's buried in the document in terms of forces.and g under test conditions.

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:19

BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:10

Yup. That’s what he would have to do. And I’d have no problem telling him to move his leg from my footwell. As a rape survivor, I will not spent a flight with a strange man on top of me and with his leg crossed over into my space. I do not care if he has to turn himself into the aisle. And I am not rude for telling someone to move their leg off of me.

Sorry you went through that. Yes I was uncomfortable with his leg and side touching mine, it was warm anyway. Shouldn't have to have personal space invaded continually like that for hours.

OP posts:
BeltaLodaLife · 23/08/2025 19:23

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:19

Sorry you went through that. Yes I was uncomfortable with his leg and side touching mine, it was warm anyway. Shouldn't have to have personal space invaded continually like that for hours.

Edited

No, you shouldn’t. And it is not rude to speak to cabin crew (they could maybe have given you the jump seat for some respite). And it is not rude to ask the person to do whatever he could to give you some more personal space, even if that meant spending an hour fully turned to the aisle whilst people slept so there wouldn’t be trolley service. It’s not rude.

nomas · 23/08/2025 19:25

planejourney · 23/08/2025 19:19

Sorry you went through that. Yes I was uncomfortable with his leg and side touching mine, it was warm anyway. Shouldn't have to have personal space invaded continually like that for hours.

Edited

You really had every reason to be asked to move, even to first class.

Did you take pictures of his leg in your seat area? I would complain now for compensation.