AIBU to feel overwhelmed as a single mum.

[overwhelmedsinglema]

I’m a single mum to a 4-year-old and have her 90% of the time. I’ve been a single mum for nearly four years with limited family support. Her dad pays maintenance and has her one or two nights a week I don’t get any UC support or housing support. I work for myself, so this summer I’ve been working evenings and weekends to keep on top of things. There’s always something on my plate, work, cleaning, fixing things, birthday parties, play dates, school uniform shopping, you name it.

People who aren’t single parents often don’t really get it. Today my brother phoned me asking me to sort through our shared storage. I said I didn’t have the time over the next couple of months, as I’ve got too much going on. He kept pushing and pushing, and in the end I just snapped and hung up.

I don’t normally lose it, but sometimes the constant demands and lack of appreciation for how much I’m juggling just gets to me and I bubble over.

I don’t have a partner or many friends that can relate so keep these things bottled up. Any other single mums feel the same? How do you cope when you’re the one carrying it all?

You def aren’t alone; see this thread that will hopefully help you feel YABU
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5393158-to-hate-being-a-single-parent?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

@watchuswreckthemicthank you so much! Will have a read! There are actually bits of being a single parent I do enjoy, it’s just once a month (probably before my period) I get so overwhelmed and have a massive pity party for myself! I love that my daughter and I have such a great bond and also that I don’t have to deal with a partner but sometimes miss being able to chat and rant to someone on a daily basic xxx

no its really hard, but it will get easier as she grows up and gets more independent. I am not really a single parent yet, STBExH and I are still both living at home but hoping to get it on the market in the next few weeks. So while I look after the kids on my own, I do have help with that for the time being, although that in itself throws up other, different problems. I cannot wait to get away from him, things will be so much easier without him around me too, my mental health is taking a beating trying to remain civil. Kids are 3 and 6 btw.

I try and do as much with the kids around rather than wait for a child free day, so tidy the shed out while the kids play nearby, do chore while they are playing etc, it means I have much more time to relax once they are in bed

Thanks @IsThisLifeNowa lot of positives but I live in an expensive area of the south east! My flat is tiny and my daughter is always demanding my attention. Probably more overwhelmed as feel I never really get a break! But have to remind myself that when I was with partner it was mentally draining and toxic! I’m sorry you’re going through this too, but you’ll be in such a better place once he leaves xxx

@overwhelmedsinglemait def has it’s positives but i know it’s really hard sometimes. 8 years on here and I get frustrated still. Everyone’s circumstances are so different that it’s also hard to compare and I feel guilty when they are at their dads; despite really needing that time!