How many people have made a will?

[Ohmygodthepain]

Loosely linked to a post where the OP has been told that she is not going to be included in her will, got me thinking about how many people like that go to the effort of making a will, never mind cutting someone out of one.

How many folk do have a will? I made mine when I turned 40, got divorced and travelled for work abroad without the kids - I'm a terrible flier and was so worried about leaving my kids and family intestate.

Fast forward a decade and I've just been dealing with my mum's estate. VERY simple estate - one house, one bank account, bare minimum bills (no mobile, no broadband, gas/electric/water/house insurance/tell us once for council tax and state pension, one private pension etc), only me and my sibling to inherit. She was diagnosed with a life limiting condition a couple of years ago but ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to make a will, or get POA. Fortunately (or rather unfortunately, as things went unbelievably quickly downhill over the course of a weekend) we weren't in a position to need POA nor was it hard to deal with her things once she died, but I imagine it must be so hard for families dealing with very complicated estates, probate, families etc.

So, do you have a will? If you've dealt with a deceased estate would it have been easier with/without a will? Have you had family fall-outs because of a will or lack of one?

I need to get mine updated, my mum was one of my executors.

I’m dealing with a massive family fall out over a will.

my recommendation is always have more than one executor. Elderly relatives were persuaded to have just one of their children as executor when they were taken to draw up
wills by that child. The parents did say it was a 50:50 asset split.

tldr is that child has completely failed to deal with the estate and kept everything.

to get any further the remaining sibling needs to cough up somewhere in the region of £50k to get a court order. They don’t even know if they’re beneficiary as only the executor can see the will (and bank accounts etc). It’s suspected there was a couple of hundred thousand in the estate but it’s a massive risk taking it to court as if they aren’t in the will or there isn’t enough money to cover court costs they will lose everything.

the other sibling knows this which is why they’ve been able to do this.

i have a will but i need to redo as if pensions etc are all included there’s a chance I’ll go over the IHT limit if I leave my house to my kids and not dh.

Yes, updated two years ago. POA in process. I'm about to put together a professional clinical will.

Thing is it’s doesn’t even need to be intentional.

i trust dh. But I can also see him remarrying and thinking “oh must do a will”, and then not getting round to it. Or not realising marriage negates previous wills. Or trusting his new wife in the same way you trust him. Or him and the new wife retire early and live on their assets.

my mum inherited a large estate from my dad. She’s spent it all.

the only way you can guarantee your children inherit is to leave it to them directly.

Got a will and put all appropriate POAs in place recently. Decided to do it after my father was very ill and realised it was better to sort all this stuff out before it is actually needed.

My parents already had wills but I sorted out all the POAs for them, in-laws have a will but refuse to do POA for some reason.

First will when I was about 18/19. Has been updated about every 10yrs since, with marriage, children, etc.
We’re early 50’s now, next review will leave part of our assets direct to adult children should one of us die before the other. Previously it’d be all to spouse.
We will also do POA next time too - have lost a few friends our age in the last few years so better safe than sorry.

Wills and POA’s in place.

Absolutely this. I’d also add the passwords for accounts etc as so much stuff is online these days.

I also think, as equally important as the admin, is the talking. Discuss everything with everyone who will be affected by your death. Make sure they know your wishes clearly, they don’t have to hunt. Equally important as will and POAs is also an Advance Care Plan, and talking about that too. It sounds awful, and indeed is an awful thing to do to talk about but it’s actually a favour to your loved ones who won’t don’t have to agonise over hard decisions, or have arguments if they disagree.

The one thing that is absolutely guaranteed to happen is your death. Personally I feel everyone should be prepared and I felt like this even before I had (sadly) a clearer timeline for mine. I’m just about to add DNR in any circumstances now instructions to mine, rather than in xx circumstances, which feels awful and final, but I’ve discussed it with DH and the DC who accept it. Luckily they are older. I am grateful they have already divided my jewellery/ expensive and/sentimental items. They were reluctant to do this but I forced them it actually turned out to be a fun afternoon with all of us together which is unusual these days, with lots of laughing. I know that sounds odd.

Oh also, life insurance! Buying a house seems the trigger for a lot of people but I think it should be done asap, and certainly when you have DC.

Yep
made when DC1 was 3 weeks old
updated when DC2 was a month old

Probably needs updating now they are in their teens.

We’ve got mirror wills.Had first Will drawn up when DC1 was a few months old and updated it a few years after DC2 arrived,just so they were actually named in the Will and not just down as“and any other children”.
We’ve also got lasting POA for each other with our (now adult)DC also named as being allowed to look after our money and other affairs if and when the time comes.

I did one when I was 45, 8 years ago. I don’t have any blood relatives other than a few distant cousins who I barely know - I don’t even know their addresses or where they live. I don’t have a spouse, parents, kids or siblings any more and really didn’t want it to go to the state. There is a saying that you are worth more dead than alive, and in my case, if I died whilst working and before 65 I’d be worth about £600k I think - combination of house equity, death in service benefit, pension and life cover.

So I wrote my will to include my friends children, who have no auntie and who have brought me so much joy, and specific charities that are close to my heart. I hope to live to a ripe old age but as a family we don’t do longevity well, so it was important to me to sort this out early on, just in case.

DH & I got mirror wills when we bought our house; then updated them when we had kids to add in who would be their legal guardians. My DB & SIL agreed to be them, & we’ve agreed to be the legal guardians of DN.
Ive now dealt with the deaths of both my parents. DM was straightforward; died in care home, will, no property, little money/assets. Left clear funeral intentions.
DF - was NC with him for 30+ years; we (DB & I as assumed next of kin) had to be traced by a genealogy company as DF had not left NOK details. Was a hoarder, destroyed his will so estate is intestate; died alone at home so death was reviewed by coroner & ended up at an inquest which has delayed things considerably; no property thankfully but some money so we are currently having to sort that all out, including what we think he’d have wanted with regards the funeral. We’ve had to apply for letters of administration to deal with the money/assets.

Get a will - it makes things soooo much easier!!

If you live in England or Wales and die intestate, only the first £322k of your estate automatically goes to your spouse. The rest will be split 50-50 between your spouse and your children. This can cause a lot of problems if, for example, you own and your spouse own your home as tenants in common.

Married (44 and 49) but no wills as neither of us have any assets!!

Had one since we got married and had kids. Regularly update it.

But am in farming so it’s a fairly topical subject right now!!

Why on earth would you think that means you dont need a will?

I don’t have one and neither does dh. We’re married and have one dc. No mortgage so if either of us die the other one gets everything. We’re named on each others life insurance etc. when we both die dc everything will pass to dc.

We talked about it for years, but only managed to do it last Easter. Not terribly complicated (and no longer need a guardian for DD if the worst had happened). But it’s now done and registered.

DH and I have always known (in theory at least) where to find a list of each others bank accounts etc. if it was ever needed.

I have a Will. I have also executed Wills for various family members.

Also leave clear instructions for distribution of assets and any gifts so that there is no ambiguity or ill feeling. Better still, speak to your family about what you propose doing.

Can I add that whilst writing your Will, you should also leave clear instructions about your funeral and wake. Having organised several funerals, it would take a lot of pressure off had I known what my deceased family members would have liked in the way of readings, music and hymns etc.

My husband and I haven't made wills. It hasn't been a priority because a will would only state what would actually happen anyway. If one of us dies everything will go to the other. If we both die everything will go to our grown children.

I'm 57 and on my fourth will, I've always had one. Needs updating again.

Dealt with both mum and dad's estates, both had wills, technically very easy to do (but boring and onerous, especially when you're grieving).

My partner doesn't have one, but he has a daughter and everything would go to her whether he has a will or not, so there's not much point for him. I have no kids and leave most to nieces and nephews. Intestate my brother and sister would get it and there's no point bc they don't need it. If I get very old, I may go down another generation, if one is born by then!

But you are still better off with a will as if you don’t have one the process is more long winded and complicated.

That isn’t necessarily what will happen. Only if your assets are less than £325k. Do you have a house? Pensions? Savings?

anything over that would be split between spouse and children.

if I didn’t have a will dh would have to sell the house in order to pay dc their share, as our house is over that limit. Also he would have to split my pensions and other assets, that are in place to support him should anything happen to me.

I'm not in the UK anyway. If my husband dies before me everything will come to me, and vice versa.

I have a will, in which all my material goods and chattels go to my son, my old horse stays with his breeder, and my cat goes to the Cat's Protection Society. The former has a monthly donation and the latter has agreed to this arrangement.

Is it?

I’ve administered both. It’s effectively the same process.

if there’s a will- apply for probate, gather assets and distribute according to will.

if there’s isn’t a will- apply for letters of administration, gather assets, distribute according to intestacy law.

i actually think no will is less complicated as you’re only dealing with spouse/children. A will you can be sorting gifts to the cats home, trying to track down great auntie Mary who’s been left a bracelet, and dealing with with youngest son who’s been cut off and wants to know why you can’t give him his share.

wills also cause a lot of argument when people perceive them as unfair- and as op says it happens a lot when one child or grandchild is left more than others.

so imo not having a will is actually less hassle in many cases.