To be prematurely mad about my wedding anniversary

[TawnyFriend]

It's my 1st wedding anniversary on the weekend, due to some financial issues my husband and I decided we wouldn't do presents for our anniversary. We spoke about it at length and decided as it's our paper anniversary we'd get each other cards and write each other a heartfelt letter like we did for our wedding day. We are also planning on opening our box of letters from our wedding guests and eating our wedding cake.

I bought my husbands card, a watercolor painting of a picture from our wedding on the front, now my husband always buys his cards online from one of the main online card places. I always know when my birthday card has arrived for example as it will say the name of the card place on the envelope with his name on. This time however, nothing has arrived. I'm home with our child so I know for certain no card has arrived and unless he's decided to buy one from a shop there is no card.

It would now be too late for him to order one and he hasn't mentioned our anniversary in weeks. AIBU to be prematurely upset by this? Should I mention it, or should I wait and see if he has genuinely forgotten?

If you mention it and he's forgotten, then what?

Why do you have no faith in him? Getting cross over something that has happened is one thing, but to preemptively assume is pretty rude, not to mention unfair if he's not given you any reason to think he has forgotten. You spoke about it - you have to trust that he's going to act accordingly. Plus it's Thursday - the weekend is still over 24 hours away.

Good grief. Chill. I always forget mine. We laugh about it. He got the date engraved on my wedding ring to help remind me. Guess what it’s fine that I forgot this year again - 25 years married. We went to Paris to celebrate it but went a week early so forgot the actual day again. Still have a great marriage and love him. He remembered as usual but really as long as the love is there and you celebrate it somehow that’s all that matters. Remind him now if you’re desperate for a bloody card and don’t set yourself up to be miserable.

AIBU to be prematurely upset by this

I cant believe you even have to ask.

Give him a break. Your anniversary is still 2 days away. You have no idea what he might havd organised

Getting upset before you know theres reason to be upset is just ridiculous

Mention it in passing now so he has time to organise something if need be but don't play games and get mad when he loses.

So you’re getting angry about a theoretical failure?

Dear god. Moonpig does quick delivery.
Card shops do still exist ( I believe?)

Also OP, getting “ prematurely mad” over a possible absent card, is very worrying.

I know this is a radical idea but hear me out - maybe he's bought a card from a shop?

Yes, you're being utterly over the top to be this fussed about a card you don't actually know he hasn't gotten. But I don't understand why the two of you haven't spoken at all about your anniversary in weeks if you wanted to do something together. You haven't mentioned what you thought sounded nice for dinner and asked if he agreed? Put it on your shared family calendar? Discussed whether you should do the cake sharing with your DC or wait until after bedtime and not let them find out? Asked him if he was still happy with that plan and dinner at home or wanted to spring for dinner out or go for a family walk that day?

Your anniversary is not a secret you're keeping from each other and remembering it isn't supposed to be a test you set, so communicate about it the same way healthy couples talk about, remind each other of and confirm other joint plans.

You’re pitching a fit about something that hasn’t actually happened. Also, imagine you were married to me — I adore DH, and I don’t even remember which month we got married in, far less the day.