To not want to meet up with all these people all the time

[Coffeeicedcake]

I'm early 50s, have quite a big circle of friends and acquaintances, have a busy job.

Lately, I feel overwhelmed at times trying to meet up with some of these and actually realised there's some I'd really like to see less often as I just don't have the time and feel I arrange to meet them out of habit and I'd just like to be less busy. This doesn't apply obviously to close friends and family.

Has anyone else felt like this?

All the time!!!

You do realise you can say no? You don’t have to do these things or meet with anyone. Just stop replying so much. Take a step back.

Yes absolutely me too. I used to be quite sociable but I’m currently avoiding meeting friends.

TBH I just say no thank you.

I’m 50 but have been doing this for years 🤷‍♀️.

Yes, I just stopped seeing them as much. No one grumbled about it, maybe they were feeling the same as I was.

You don't have to meet up with anyone you don't want to 🤷‍♀️ I'm 54 and the only people I choose to spend time with are family and close friends whose company I enjoy. Life is too short to spend it with people you don't want to see.

Knowing when to let go of things that no longer serve us or feel good is an art.

This. I’m the same and 29. My life is a lot more enjoyable

I think it's my people-pleasing tendencies prevents me from doing this a lot of the time but I'm trying to get better at just saying no.

In my 20s I used to meet up with people a lot more than I do now in my 50s and I've no reason to doubt that I'm quite normal in this regard.

It's slightly infuriating that you're asking tbh.

Yeah i’m the same. I am always meeting people. I do like to see old colleagues / friends from various seasons of my life but i’ve acquired quite a few by age 48.

Sorry, but how am I being infuriating? I was just interested to see if others felt the same.

Yes, I was around 50 when I realised I needed to cut down the socialising. Exhausting, especially at the end of a working day.

Sorry, when you said you're getting overwhelmed "trying" to meet up with them all I took it that you felt duty bound to do so. I wish you had the confidence to just know that cutting back on socialising is normal for a lot of us at our age. Infuriating was strong, but I did say only slightly.

Yes, not with everyone, but with some people I just don't enjoy meeting as much any more, I find it a real effort and exhausting. With others, I'm ok.

I struggle with a similar problem. I actually really like most of my friends and have a lot of 1:1 friendships plus different social circles from different bits of my lives, so it means a lot of different social occasions. But I find it really difficult to keep up with, and end up always trying to put off invitations, and people saying we must meet up, when are you free etc, and feeling like life is a bit of a rota where I just don’t have enough down time or empty space in the diary to just be a bit spontaneous, or do nothing.
I feel quite silly about it because obviously such a first world problem but I don’t know how to just say no I don’t really have time to see people who I do like. Especially some who I think are a bit lonely. So I end up putting things off - eg things are really hectic the next month etc - but that only pushes things on a bit and I still end up with a much more full calendar than I really want on top of busy job, elderly parents and the like. So I’d be interested in better strategies

Cost benefit analysis.

I have done this all my life for many situations.

A good example was DH cousins wedding, £500 to attend and a days leave, zero guilt in declining. We just don’t like him enough.