To send 3 yo ds to nursery on 30 hours free during mat leave

[Nottoosurereally]

Just that really

Don’t give it a second thought. My 3 year old still went to nursery during my mat leave. Good thing too as my baby didn’t (still doesn’t) sleep and I was exhausted.

I honestly think with that age gap, the 3 year old would have more fun at nursery.

most nurseries will ask you to pay something on top, so it won’t be fully ‘free’

however, YANBU to send a 3 year old to nursery no. Probably a good thing for them, also baby + toddler is the absolute trenches

I kept my son (almost 3) in nursery 3 days a week when I was on maternity leave. My DH did condensed hours so had one day off with us all, then I had one day alone with the toddler and newborn. Hardest day of the week and would have found it so hard doing it every day. It worked out a great balance. I had good bonding time with my newborn (and lots of lazy breastfeeding snuggles / binge watching) but we had time together as a family. Absolutely wouldnt change it

I left my dd in nursery and I was paying for it. Saw no point in taking her out of the structure of nursery that she had been in from 12 months just before starting school.
In hindsight I might have moved her to school nursery to make school transition easier but on the flip side she had enough upheaval with a new sibling and exh moving out so continuity of care was good.

Definitely keep sending him. He gets entertainment and his normal routine. You get the chance to spend time with the younger one and to hopefully have some moments to yourself when the baby sleeps.

Don't feel guilty about keeping him going, he'll get benifit from it and so will you.

However once things are manageable, leave baby at home with other parent and have some one-on-one time with 3y/o

her friends are there. Why keep her at home every day and juggle with a newborn? Much more fun in nursery.

Why wouldn’t you? My Dd continues to go to nursery when my DS was born, it was good for her and prepared her for school and meant she got to spend time with friends without to baby being there. It also meant I got to spend proper one on one time with baby and take him to classes, and on the days dd was home we did activities more suited to her. It worked very well as a balance.

My colleague went on maternity leave for the second time. She planned to send her son to nursery as before. Her argument was he had her undivided attention when he was born and she wanted her second child to do the same.

100% keep him in nursery if you can and want to. 30 hours isn't loads, still plenty of family time. They often thrive on the routine at that age.

I would 100% do it and did do it. The attention, interaction and friendships at that age are really important, and it takes some stress away from potential "baby gets all the attention" tantrums. Gives you time to recover post baby, enjoy mat leave, get the house in order, even nap!!

I recommend you do this as well, I’m on maternity leave with my seven week old and my 20 month old is still attending nursery three days a week. I fully understand the guilt though if that’s what you’re feeling, because internally I feel terrible that I’m “sending him away” when he could be at home with me. He loves nursery though and is in a fantastic weekly routine, and I can tell you that on the two days both of mine are with me my poor little newborn doesn’t get a look in because my older child commands the majority of my time. So the days he’s at nursery it’s pure one on one time with my newborn which is lovely 🥰

edited to add I’ve just read through all the previous comments and would like to second every single one!

I pulled DS out of full time when DD was born, and he just his free 15hrs he got. He was an Aug baby and DD was born in July so March - July he did those free hrs and then I pulled him out in mid July until school. I’d keep him in nursery but not sure i’d use the full 15hrs as I really enjoyed those days we had nothing to rush out the door for, and could go on days out before school started. Depends how much these free hours are too. Seems it’s never free now. It was free when DS did his 15hrs, but things have changed now it’s 30hrs.

Absolutely do it if that’s what you want. Nursery is good from them. I’m on mat leave with a 4 month old and got my 5 year old at home on school holidays and my 2.5 at home until she starts pre-school in September. Let me tell you September cannot come soon enough. I can’t wait to spend some proper time with the baby. Do it with no guilt OP, it will be best for all of you.

I wouldn’t use the full 30 hours. Pre school education is essential IMO, regardless of childcare needs, but 15ish hours is plenty.

In my area if you pull out during maternity leave without being school age you'll lose your place and there likely won't be space to return.

I sent my 3yo 3 days throughout my maternity leave, it kept some normality and routine.

I think 30 hours is too much. I think three days is better. My children are same age gap and they bonded well because we all went together to visit relatives on a week day. Even now my older child remembers those trips with his baby brother.