AIBU to think there's never enough time?

[kgfreo]

AIBU to be fed up?
I used to have a fulfilling, fast-paced career as a police officer. Now, due to various health issues, I'm a stay-at-home mum to three young children. While I love them deeply, life feels like a constant whirlwind.
Every morning starts at 7am: tidying up, doing laundry, planning meals, getting the kids dressed and ready, and tackling the endless list of daily tasks. Afternoons are filled with playdates or outings I’ve planned just for us.
I swear I blink and it’s 7pm. Dinner’s a mess, bedtime’s chaos, and I haven’t even had a proper chat with my husband in days.
I rarely get a moment to connect with my husband, let alone carve out time for myself. Everything I do revolves around the house, my husband, and the kids. Their clothes are always freshly laundered, while I throw on whatever’s clean-ish and passable. I don’t exercise, I skip lunch most days, and dinner is hit-or-miss as my husband eats at work, and the kids won’t touch the meals I enjoy. When the kids are eating, I’m folding laundry while reheating the same cup of tea for the third time.
I don’t have friends to catch up with, and hobbies feel like a distant memory. I’ve been trying to write a book for the past two years, but I keep having to abandon it. I’m just... so fed up. I can't even begin to imagine how it is for working mums. I miss adult interactions and I feel invisible in the rhythm of this life, like I’m constantly giving but never refilling my own cup. Sorry if this sounds incredibly selfish and I know how lucky I am to be a SAHP. I’d love to know how others manage to carve out even five minutes for themselves. I literally have no other adults to speak to.

DH needs to share the load

You’re not ‘lucky’. I think that sounds unbearable. Does your health mean it’s absolutely not possible for you to retrain and work outside the home?

Are there times when the children are at school? You need to allow some of that time for something meaningful for yourself.

You sound utterly overwhelmed.

Where is your husband in all this?

Going to work is an absolute joy for me. I do what I'm good at, get paid for it, am valued and respected and have a sense of self I never managed to keep a grip on when a sahp ( no judgement on those that love it and works for them ). In those early years it cost us as a family for me to work but I've managed to keep my career and my sanity whilst knowing I am privileged to be able to have done so.

Secondly don't be the default parent.
A salaried job does not negate anyone from being a parent and the quicker everyone get to this stage including the kids the better.

This sounds absolutely horrendous but I never fail to be amazed that women are surprised it is horrendous. Three young children and a sahm... No one does this thinking it will be easy or fun, right?

You have had and made choices. You can make some more. What would going back to work look like and mean for your life?

Op just hugs - there was a thread here the other day about getting to the bottom of the laundry basket and I suddenly thought (and said)- I always get to the bottom of the basket, but that’s because I always keep washing and putting clothes wherever they can dry or go. It reminds me of a thread where people were bragging about the things they do to save time and some were saying they clean the bathroom while their kids were in the bath and I thought ‘just sit and chat/ play with them. Just stop moving!’ Talk to your dh about helping more but also make sure you get to sit and read a magazine or book, and go on a date with your dh x