To not go to a birthday party 3 weeks post partum?

[Biscuit94]

I am a first time mum and gave birth to my daughter 4 weeks ago.
My OH's best friend turned 40 last weekend and we were both invited to a party at his house. It was a relatively small affair with about 20 people and a fair few toddlers. I knew about half the people there, though most not well.

I didn't have the best birth (induced, ventouse, episiotomy, minor pph). I am also breastfeeding and contracted mastitis 10 days post partum which I had just finished antibiotics for at the time. A

Anyway, I decided I wasn't feeling up to going to the party with my daughter. Partially because I still am not recovered from birth, I am sleep deprived and also because my DD is still very unpredictable and can want to breastfeed at any time, which I am still getting the hang of.
I obviously said OH could go, to send my love etc.

Anyway OH seemed annoyed at this, when he came back said people were 'surprised' I wasn't there and text me whilst there asking if he could come pick us up. To be honest this annoyed me a bit because I would have thought most of his friends with young kids would understand why I wasn't there. He started saying things like "we can't turn into hermits" etc. as I hadn't been out the house much since she was born. He seems to think I'm being unreasonable by not wanting to go out much just yet.

To clarify I don't mind going round to peoples' houses who I know well or family and we are going to his friends' this evening where there will be just his friend and his wife.

Aibu?

If your not ready your not ready!!

my first baby I was ill for 6-8 weeks, dizzy/fainting spells etc DH had to take extended paternity leave because I couldn’t be left on my own. had a massive falling out with a family member because I didn’t attend his party 5 weeks PP. I nearly died given birth he said I was dramatic and I needed to “crack on”

I think your DH needs a serious think about what you have just put your body through

Definitely a dick move on his part. My first baby absolutely floored me. Like you, a difficult birth and took ages to get the hang of breastfeeding. At three weeks I looked well but was still crying in pain every time I tried to feed, and had to use shields so couldn't do it in any way discreetly. Barely left the house for the first few weeks apart from for medical appointments and walks with the pram. We congratulated ourselves for just making it to Starbucks on my husband's birthday!
It gets easier, but give yourself as much grace and slack as you can in those first few weeks while you are learning how to do this and getting used to being tired and weepy!

And let me guess - he probably would have just chatted away (beverage in hand - does he drink and would have expected you to drive too?) while you were left nursing/ soothing/ changing the baby for the duration of the visit? (With fake smile plastered on your face being forced to make small talk)

They were probably disappointed as were hoping to see you and New baby. Not that that trumps the fact you weren't feeling 100%! I just meant they were hoping to see you both, rather than surprised when you changed your mind about attending.