AIBU to ask for your tips not to fall asleep whilst breastfeeding?

[Winkyskull]

Hello

Sorry this isn't the right place but I'm desperate!

We had our little girl nearly 4 weeks ago and she's perfect. She sleeps pretty well, feeding has been a bumpy journey but hopefully getting there. My main concern though is keeping her safe whilst I feed at night. I'm constantly nodding off which I understand is normal due to hormones and I'm sleep deprived. We either feed in bed or on the sofa with a breastfeeding pillow support round me.

I'm terrified I'll fall onto her (my arm has gone across her face a few times when I've fallen asleep briefly) or worried her face will slip down in the gap between me and pillows etc and I just don't know what to do to ensure she doesn't suffocate during these times.

Any tips for staying awake? My partner is great and has been staying up for a few feeds to keep an eye on me but he's knackered too and also going back to work soon.

How do people do it?!

Thanks

Well with ds I sat on a hard plastic chair which stopped me nodding off. With dd I opted for laying down and side feeding on my bed so that I could doze because she took so bloody long to feed.

Reading helped me. I used a kindle so could easily manage one handed and found it much easier to stay awake reading than watching tv. Also doing crosswords on my phone sometimes worked. Needs to be something to keep you brain occupied in my experience.

Have a look at safe cosleeping practices on the lullaby trust. Even if you don’t intend to cosleep, it is inevitable with breastfeeding at night so best to be prepared.
To stay awake though, I used to make sure I had decent snacks and I got into a few really good (long!) boxsets to try and help.
Honestly though, lie down feeding/ cosleeping saved my sanity!

Spent a lot of time on my phone, God knows how people did it before!

Can you get yourself set up for safe bedsharing and work on feeding lying down in a cuddle curl so if you do sleep then everyone is safe. Sofa is the most dangerous place.

Are you getting to nap during the day? That helped at night too.

I always struggled to concentrate reading in the middle of the night.

I watched the first several series of Death in Paradise on quietly on my tablet. It was good enough to hold my attention but not so good I wouldn't turn it off when DD was done feeding.

DH always brought me a drink and snack too (or I'd put a couple of biscuits or crackers in a little bag next to my bed).

I fell asleep feeding my oldest and woke just as my arm started to drop him - from then on and for all subsequent children I fed laying down in bed with all safe co-sleeping guidelines in place... felt like the best alternative - I needed sleep and he needed feeding.

I did this. I made the bed safe for co-sleeping and then it didn't matter if I fell asleep. I then ended up co-sleeping for most of the night.

I just coslept; he was set up safely so I could just get straight back to sleep. Overall leads to an awful lot more sleep that way too. Ecen if you pop the baby back when you wake up, being set up safely in case you sleep reduces the risk.

As PP have said - look up safe sleep practices and allow yourself some rest. I co sleep with twins currently. Nod off feeding all the time!! It’s normal, it’s natural. we mamas need our rest!!!
Lullaby trust is a good start… it’s much safer to set up a safe co sleeping environment then to nod off on the sofa with a little one.
Good luck xx

Co sleeping and shifts.

I went to bed at 7pm, slept as solidly as I could til 12/1am, with baby brought in or dad supervising while i fed/dozed.

Then I was well slept for the night shift scream-fest between 2-4am. I dozed in the safest way I could cosleep.

In the morning, dad got up at 5/6am and tool baby so I could sleep for a few hours before he went to work.

it was very hard as baby wouldn't take a dummy or bottle.

My midwife suggested feeding lying down on the bed adhering to safe cosleeping practices. I’d nod off almost straight away, so much better for sleep

Oh and seperate bedrooms. Me and baby shared a double, dad had the other room.

So lots of space.

Solidarity, I have a 3 week old! I agree about feeding lying down, making the space as safe as possible if you do fall asleep. It’s much riskier to fall asleep with baby on a chair or sofa. I also turn the bedside light on brighter, watch TV on my phone and have something to eat or drink. Sometimes I still fall asleep but I’m trying not to as I want baby to sleep in her next 2 me.

I co-slept, I'd have keeled over with exhaustion if I hadn't.

I watched trash TV on my phone with headphones, like 'married at first sight' something trashy that was all drama. That mostly kept my awake in those early days but it did get better and I got used to it and was less likely to nod off.

At that stage where possible I would have a snooze in the afternoon and early evening. Then a big tea, lots of water, plenty of snacks nearby. I would sit in bed to feed from 11pm and DH would stay awake until midnight to chat to me. After that I would watch Netflix on the tablet and snack. Usually DC would finish cluster feeding by 2am and be so milky drunk he would go in the moses basket or crib until 6am ish.

The best advice I had was to eat constantly to replenish all the lost energy and drink lots of water to try to go some way to clearing the doggy sleep drived brain.

A drink of cold water and something to watch on TV plus quite an upright chair