CMS application

[QueenofGW]

Doubting myself and would appreciate some advice.
Since separating in 2021 my ex husband has paid me what he thinks child support should be.
Usually around £400, online calculator suggests £560 would be the correct amount.
I’ve never questioned it as I valued an amicable relationship over money and was managing fine financially.
We co-parent well mostly. He has them usually 2 nights per week, no rigid schedule in place usually EOW plus ad hoc nights midweek.
The children are twins and both off to high school this year so full new uniforms, blazers, pe kits for both. He has not helped with this cost and this month only gave £300 in maintenance. I did ask for help with their school shoes and was told I need to contribute my share?!?
Now he does also buy clothes for the kids etc and took them on holiday for 1 week this year (we tend to take it in turns to take them on holiday, so the twins do get an abroad holiday every year).
So I have contacted CMS for a calculation. I’ve really struggled this month.
should I cancel the CMS case for the sake of good relations? Is it not better we get on rather than worry about money? Or is he taking me for a fool? What should I do?

YABU - close the CMS case and keep good relations.
YANBU- you should get the correct maintenance each month.

I think you need to put pen to paper. CMS reduce payments based on overnight stays so you need to work out how many nights your ex does in a year?

Maybe you could agree on £400 and not dropping payments any lower for 2DC. It sounds like you have a reasonable deal if he does the holidays and buys clothes too OP.

You valuable an amicable arrangement. He doesn't.

Send him a message saying "I noticed you have reduced the payment by £100 this month without warning. Is there something happening that I should be aware of? Otherwise I need the normal amount as I have had to pay for school uniforms and shoes this month as well. If payments are going to drop without warning I will have to go through CMS which I don't want to do, but this makes budgeting incredibly difficult"

This puts the ball in his court. He either pays as agreed or you have to go to CMS

If he should be paying £560 even with the 2 overnights that's £2k a year you're missing out on. That's if he pays every month, which he isn't. You could take them on holiday with that.

I'd maybe send the message above but with something like sending the extra in view of the additional costs of uniform that he isn't making an additional contribution to, with an expectation that otherwise you will go through CMS.

You may be pleasantly surprised that he's had a pay rise in the intervening years and has to pay more than you think (mine messed me around once too many times so I went to CMS and he ended up paying double after no increase to our informal agreement for 3 years, after he didn't tell me about a huge pay rise).

you can get the cms to work out what should be paid, you can then do a private agreement even if you agree to accept slightly less than the cms calculation you keep the cms case open as direct pay that way there are no fees each month you click youve received payment but if he doesnt pay or muchs you about you can switch to cms collecting it direct from his wages they add 20% on his costs and take 4% of your money. so really does depend on what he earns, how often he has the kids etc worth looking into though

OP can't do this. She either has a private arrangement or she goes through CMS you can't do both.

Of course you can. Ex uses the online calculator and send me the calculation along with a copy of his payslip so I can check it if I want.

That's a private arrangement then. You check alongside your exs pay slips and CMS online calculator. That is nothing to do with CMS. Most men won't hand over their pay slips! @RhaenysRocks

yes she can do this, you have a private arrangement they pay direct to you, but you keep the case open they monitor and you mark when you receive payment. so i suggest you fact check on chat gpt as your are wrong ChatGPT

your information is wrong, cms will still monitor a private arrangement if you open a case and get them to assess the case and keep the case open. they only get involved and take percentages etc if you mark as payment not received.

As far as I know you have to either use cms with direct pay or collect and pay. I've never heard of what you are suggesting.

i am talking about direct pay, this can be set up assessed and monitored by cms. then if the absent parent doesnt pay or stick to agreement you can ask cms to take over and switch to collect and pay which inccurs the fees

That's direct pay VIA CMS then not a private arrangement.

yes i am well aware of what it is thanks 🙄

You seem to be offended. CMS don't get involved with private arrangements. That's all I said.

Well I told my ex that if he didn't then I'd have no choice but to go via CMS. He got the arse because he thought that automatically meant there'd be some penalty to him. Way too much misunderstanding and far too little clarity around this on all sides.

Yes this is very reasonable

I'd talk with him abd say I dont really want to go via CMS but I will if we can't agree amicably. Ask him to do his own CMS calculation before discussing at length.

I don't receive child maintenance but I don't think 400 pounds is a lot considering you have 2 children and need double of everything. He only has them 2 nights per week, he should be contribuiting more..