To think fil was thoughtless?

[Sunflowerscoffeecake]

Fil invited dh on a one week skiing/annual piss up holiday when our baby will be 3 months old.

He invited dh in front of me. It’s wasn’t an invite like “you can come if it’s not too much for Sunflowers to manage with the baby”, it was an assumption that dh would be going.

For info dh isn’t going. Dh only gets the minimal 20 days holiday and we have an older child so it isn’t like I’d only have one baby to manage or like he’d have time to have the children so that I could have a break.

To be honest I don’t like my fil. I’ve found him to be an overbearing, obnoxious man so this probably clouds my judgement.

But aibu to think it was thoughtless towards me to just assume that dh would be going?

Well it's a shame he didn't invite you all or DH push back and assume youd all be going as skiing is lovely for kids!

Presumably sounds like he's a sexist who didn't think twice about going away when younger and saddling mil with the kids ?
If so why expect anything different
If he's obnoxious then roll eyes and move on and just be sure DH has your back and doesn't start to think that's normal and he is entitled to piss up holidays alone! Doesn't sound like he is though which is fab x

I know inviting someone on holiday isn’t crime if the century.

It’s that I find fil so ignorant. He acts as though I’m not there.

I think that when you have children the expectation should be that you would discuss going away for a week and the logistics.

It isn’t for fil to just assume that it will happen.

I'm sure your FIL is indeed a twat, but I don't think is an example of his twattery at all. He asked, your DH said no, and that's fine. He made the invitation, that's all - it's up to your DH to have the conversation with you about whether he goes or not. Your FIL doesn't have to facilitate that conversation between you.

He may well be a overbearing tosser in general, but this one thing doesn't seem like a big deal at all.

I think that's fair.

he invited him, your dh declined. End of.

I have to agree with @BauhausOfEliott . He asked and was turned down. There’s not much more to it than that.

don’t let him rile you up.