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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do about this slightly strange situation?

33 replies

feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:42

I recently went on a family holiday to France to celebrate my father’s ‘big birthday.’ My sister and her children flew out the day before me. She had forgotten to pack an item of baby equipment that would make their holiday easier. My own kids are long out of that phase, so I put a message on my street group chat to ask if someone had one we could borrow. I don’t know my neighbours closely but the chat is extremely useful for everyone, and it’s completely normal for us to post on there if stuck. I’ve enjoyed helping out several neighbours in the past, especially the elderly ones.
The evening before we flew out - while I was out - a neighbour very kindly dropped off the needed baby item with my teenage daughter and said ‘your mum needs one of these.’
I left a message on the chat to thank the neighbour (whoever they were!) profusely, but there was no reply. On return from the holiday, I posted another message, again expressing thanks and how handy the item had been. I asked the neighbour to message me so that I could return the item to them. Again, nothing.
So now I’m landed with a baby thing I have no use for and I’m not sure what to do with it. It was a couple of weeks ago that I posted the ‘return’ message. I even offered to take it to the charity shop in case they didn’t want it back.
What would you do?

OP posts:
ChaChaChaChanges · 20/08/2025 22:43

Assume the neighbour was on holiday now and keep hold of the item a bit longer.

Theoldboots · 20/08/2025 22:44

What is it? If it's a small item just shove it in a cupboard for a few months then post on the chat again.

AtlasPine · 20/08/2025 22:46

Yes, you need to keep it for a few weeks. Then perhaps make a few enquiries with any friends on the street as to whom it might have been. Can your daughter give a description?

5128gap · 20/08/2025 22:46

Annoyingly I'd have to hang on to it for a couple of months or so before I'd feel confident she wouldn't want it back. If Dsis lived nearby I'd make her store it though!

DelilahMy · 20/08/2025 22:46

Wait longer .

KilkennyCats · 20/08/2025 22:46

It can’t be that large if you were able to fly it to another country.
Hold into it until you can contact them, they were decent enough to lend it in the first place.
Maybe they’re on holiday themselves, it was very rude of you to suggest taking it to the charity shop!

Asunciondeflata · 20/08/2025 22:48

What is the item, and why are you being so mysterious about what it is?.

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/08/2025 22:50

You'll have to keep hold of it until you manage to get hold of them

They were kimd enough to drop it round to a neighbour they don't really know so I don't see you have much choice other than to keep hold of it until they reply to your message

feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:52

KilkennyCats · 20/08/2025 22:46

It can’t be that large if you were able to fly it to another country.
Hold into it until you can contact them, they were decent enough to lend it in the first place.
Maybe they’re on holiday themselves, it was very rude of you to suggest taking it to the charity shop!

Not rude at all. I was trying to be helpful as there currently aren’t any babies on our street. I figured that if someone wasn’t in a hurry to have it back then they might no longer want it, and this would save them a job.
Oh, and I will absolutely hang onto it for a few weeks longer, which is what I had planned to do. The item was a shade thingy for the pushchair.
Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Asunciondeflata · 20/08/2025 22:53

feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:52

Not rude at all. I was trying to be helpful as there currently aren’t any babies on our street. I figured that if someone wasn’t in a hurry to have it back then they might no longer want it, and this would save them a job.
Oh, and I will absolutely hang onto it for a few weeks longer, which is what I had planned to do. The item was a shade thingy for the pushchair.
Thanks everyone.

Yes, just hang on to it, they'll get in touch. It won't take up much storage space.

tulippa · 20/08/2025 22:53

Knock on the neighbour's door and say thanks for the loan of the item as it really helped your sister out. Hand over a bottle of wine/bunch of flowers with the item and express further gratitude.

Sorted.

ReluctantSwimMum · 20/08/2025 22:55

tulippa · 20/08/2025 22:53

Knock on the neighbour's door and say thanks for the loan of the item as it really helped your sister out. Hand over a bottle of wine/bunch of flowers with the item and express further gratitude.

Sorted.

Have you missed the entire point of the post?

CheshireDing · 20/08/2025 22:55

How can she when she doesn't know which neighbour it is Tulippa !?

KilkennyCats · 20/08/2025 22:55

tulippa · 20/08/2025 22:53

Knock on the neighbour's door and say thanks for the loan of the item as it really helped your sister out. Hand over a bottle of wine/bunch of flowers with the item and express further gratitude.

Sorted.

She doesn’t know which neighbour it is.

feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:56

tulippa · 20/08/2025 22:53

Knock on the neighbour's door and say thanks for the loan of the item as it really helped your sister out. Hand over a bottle of wine/bunch of flowers with the item and express further gratitude.

Sorted.

Did you read my OP? I don’t know which neighbour it was 😄

OP posts:
feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:56

Of course I would have done that if I did!

OP posts:
tulippa · 20/08/2025 23:04

feedmefudge · 20/08/2025 22:56

Did you read my OP? I don’t know which neighbour it was 😄

Sorry - bedtime for me!

IamJacquelineHigh · 20/08/2025 23:15

I'd be holding onto that for a least a year! For fear the random neighbour came looking for it.

feedmefudge · 21/08/2025 00:32

I’ve put it on a high up shelf and will just forget about it for now. The neighbour knows where I am, if and when they want it back.
Thanks all.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 21/08/2025 00:36

Definitely store it. I would give her a few months.

dEdiCatEdFeliNeEntHusiAst · 22/08/2025 05:51

Asunciondeflata · 20/08/2025 22:48

What is the item, and why are you being so mysterious about what it is?.

This ^

RentalWoesNotFun · 22/08/2025 05:55

Are any if the neighbours in hospital? Could be someone’s ill if not abroad. Retired people couod easily go to their caravan for a good few weeks over the summer so defo hold onto the item for a long time.

autienotnaughty · 22/08/2025 06:16

I’d leave it a couple weeks then ask on the chat did the person want the item back or would they prefer it to go to charity. If no reply (I’d wait couple werks) then I would donate to charity

autienotnaughty · 22/08/2025 06:16

I’d leave it a couple weeks then ask on the chat did the person want the item back or would they prefer it to go to charity. If no reply (I’d wait couple werks) then I would donate to charity

Zanatdy · 22/08/2025 06:21

Go and knock on their door with it.