Autistic child question- I’m worried

[dogsflying]

So my 7 and a half year old son is autistic. summer holidays we’ve been out lots (with younger sibling who is NT and aged 5) to various day trips etc. some he shows enjoyment but others not. My issue is at home he LOVES the Xbox and won’t really engage in much else no matter how hard I try. So it’s like he associates Xbox with home as when we were on holiday recently there was no Xbox and he coped fine. When we go to soft plays or parks or swimming he’s fine but some places like museums castles etc he’s not as interested.

it’s kinda like xbox is his special interest that I hear many autistic people have. I’m just worried it’s a bad thing? I can’t hide it as my husband uses it in the evening although I did hide the controller today when we got home and he was sad but watched tv instead. My husband isn’t worried as he said he himself grew up watching /playing Xbox games or similar, it’s just our son is about 3 years behind I think. He’s 7 and a half and can’t write his name, don’t think he can read unless in his head by sight but can’t read out loud and is speech delayed although getting there
any thoughts or advice welcome

A visual schedule might help with this?

I would still have some restrictions on it if playing all day long. Can you get him to try an ipad with educational apps? It’s a tough one. My DC are not autistic (actually DD I suspect is on the spectrum but not diagnosed) and both never had any screen restrictions. In the summer hols my son probably did play on it too much, but I had to go to work etc and I have a serious health issue which was particularly bad when they were younger. Both DC high achievers and I don’t necessarily agree with too many restrictions that some parents do but I do think need some balance and some educational games might create a bit of balance in that he is learning stuff at the same time.

@bumblebrambletye thing with a visual timetable is the weekends change every week as to what we do and when we leave the house. Plus he totally understands everything u say to him he just doesn’t want to turn the Xbox off unless we going out for example

What did he do indoors when you were on holiday?

It sounds balanced to me and like you are doing a good job. The school have suggested my older one may be on the spectrum and he likes Minecraft but has a timer to play it. From what I’ve seen of various friends and other kids his age, being interested in something (be it football, gaming, Pokémon etc) is pretty normal. My younger one who is definitely NT gets ‘obsessions’ over certain films for example and is screen addicted. He is the one we have to stop watching TV otherwise he’d do it all day!

@bumblebrambleon holiday he saw no Xbox so was fine and just chilled until it was time to go out for the day then played outside in the evenings

Have you considered a visible countdown timer? Just a big LED clock that counts down until he's had enough time. Maybe even have a treat at the end of it, so he doesn't view it as a completely negative thing?

It could be a hot chocolate, which would have double benefit if it's close to bedtime.

Put time limits on now before he get older and you can't physically stop him doing this.

In my time we were either forced to work on the field or taught to read a book when indoors. The human mind has to latch onto something, no one can just at home doing nothing

I have 2 autistic dc and also worried about the gaming. Their occupational therapist was clear, if they're happy and it's not leading to bad behaviour, don't worry about it.

Update on Xbox situation. I came down this morning before he was up and covered it over, also put the coffee table in front of it and hid the controllers. He did ask but wasn’t too upset. He’s now watching tv which maybe isn’t too bad? As we watched tv all the time as kids and it’s a break from the Xbox

I also got out a toy car game but I need DH to help put it together when he’s up so hopefully DC will show some excitement once it’s up and running

What do u think

Screens are just really addictive. My 8 yo is NT and we struggle with him constantly wanting to play nintendo. We have to have very strict boundaries as to when its allowed.

Tv is addictive but less so than gaming - but if its useful as a tool to wean him off xbox, go with it for now, then put a timer plug on the tv to reduce the times its available.

Not everyone watched constant tv when we were kids - most parents I knew had lots of rules limiting it.

@NuovaPilbeamu must be quite young then as I grew up in the late 80s early 90s and everyone I talk to in real life and on social media all say that we had endless tv in our day etc as limits and stuff was only made into “a thing” in recent years. That being said the tv is weaning him off it today and I’m hoping like I said that once the car track is up they distracts him.. he certainly looked pleased to see it again o think

DS is similar, we tried timers and trying to keep him off it and he obsessed more. What works for us is he is allowed the Xbox when he feels like (obviously cut off at bed time, not before 7am) and we will come and play with him. We have found that if we then wander off and do something else he will follow soon after and join in.

Lots of sentences like "thank you for letting me play, I'm done for now" , "this is lovely, I played xbox with you and now you are dwindle X with me".

We also make the event things e.g. on roblox grow a garden an exciting thing that we're all looking forward to and join in with. So we go out and do whatever before the event at say 2pm, then settle in with event snacks and play then when it's over we will have a chat about what we all enjoyed most before moving on to "what a perfect day, shall finish it of with X?"

I think what I'm saying is we try to make Xbox more sociable rather than it sucking him in until we unplug.

I have DC with ASD/ADHD who are a bit older now. What worked best for us was if the device itself tells them it's time to come off.

Im not sure what parental controls are available with the Xbox, but we had a Switch with the parent app and tablets and phones with parental controls. Set X number of hour per day and also time it goes on and off. Obviously, we explain to the DC that it goes off after a certain time. They accepted it without comment from the device itself. 😁

Just a side note to keep an eye out ND in your younger child as they get older. I know from my DC that it is easy to miss if you have an older child with more obvious ND.