Giving up HA home due to neighbours

[coconutss]

I am really fed up of living here as none of my neighbours on my side in the cul de sac speak to me.

Even the young kids used to say hello to me and now the parents have told them to stop saying hello as now none of them speak to me.

It is an awful atmosphere as I am just blanked whilst they all talk amongst themselves.

They have a WhatsApp group where they all slag me of apparently.

All this because I made a firm and put some privet hedging up as my driveway was a playground and people (including the mothers) would walk in front of my windows trespassing.

I have young kids that would often be woken up by the constant screaming and shouting by these kids on my driveway.

This went on for months and I had to pay a lot of money for these hedges and to get someone to plant them in.

Another neighbour opposite was quite open in her complaint to the HA as they threw a toy at one of the car windows and and she went mental and told the parents she was reporting them so it’s not just me.

I never reported the kids I just took measures to stop them from annoying me.

It seems if you stand up for yourself nobody talks to you around here.

I am desperate to move as every time I go past I am ignored and if they are talking it goes quiet.

I have asked the HA for an exchange but they refused.

I work from home and DP works, it will be a stretch but I will be a lot happier in the long run.

AIBU to give this house up?
Am I in the wrong? I have never been nasty to anyone and been respectful.

I feel like I am back at school again.

My street is the same. I made a complaint about one neighbour who was blocking my drive constantly and they got everyone else on their side.

Honestly, so what? I'm not here to make friends. I just want to close my door and have my home which I do. Don't let them see you bothered and they'll get bored

Who cares about speaking to neighbours? We are not on the WAG I don't know anyone's name and they don't know ours, we've been here six years. It doesn't sound like they are horrible. Just ignore them.

I get that is upsetting but I really wouldn’t give up a HA secure home over petty neighbours just ignoring you. You could move and get far worse than that.

I wouldn't allow it to bother me. You were in the right - they are put out as you effectively stopped them from being arseholes.

Think of it as: “The lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep.”

They are clearly inconsiderate idiots and I'd carry on and be happy to be ignored by them!

Don’t move OP. As others have said, it’s only a matter of time before they turn their attention elsewhere. Smile and don’t engage with them, these people have shown their true colours so count your blessings that you don’t have to have them in around you. It does all sound v juvenile behaviour and I woudlnt be surprised if those bitching together at present turn on each other eventually, so you’re well out of their circles. Hold your head high, stay in your home and keep them at arms length

I wouldn’t mind at all if no neighbors spoke to me- you’ve got the peace and quiet! But why can’t you swap your home?

Don’t leave. Why do you care if they talk to you? They sound like dicks and most Brits don’t know their neighbours

Hi all
Thank you for the lovely and kind replies.

I am listed on the HomeSwapperd website but not had much luck.

I know HA and council homes are like gold dust, and I am very grateful to have this home.

I have tried my best to ignore them but I live at the end terrace and have to go past them when I go out and I just hate it in case I see one of them.

Most of them have all been at home during the summer holidays, usually in term time nobody is around until 4pm and it’s heaven.

I'm not sure why you'd give up a security tenancy beause your neighbours dont soeak to you. As long as there is no trouble im not sure what the issue is.

Remember that moving doesn’t mean you won’t have any issues at the new address. You might need to do something again and find people being hostile. You can’t keep moving every time the local mean girl starts bitching about you to her mates next door. Sometimes moving isn’t the answer.

Maybe have a think about where your confidence is at too. If you were really confident this wouldn’t affect you the way it is. I had a neighbour make my life hell years ago and it turned out they had done it before and because the last person was bullied by them thought I would also be bullied. They came unstuck. I just went about my life like they didn’t even exist with my head held high every time I walked past and thoroughly enjoyed watching them seethe because they couldn’t get to me.

Of course still felt crappy inside at times and didn’t like walking past them but I had no choice so I had to be bloody minded and just get on with it. After you act like nothing penetrates you for so long it becomes a habit and you don’t even notice it anymore, but they will. They will notice that nothing they do gets to you. The dirty looks , the gossip, it all just bounces off.

Try to be brave and at least have a think about how you are carrying yourself around them because if you are walking around like a little mouse looking beaten down like it’s getting to you, they will feed off it. Look bold and confident and hold your head high. You’ve already taken decisive action and shown them that you won’t have them trampling all over your boundaries, they are just put out because they don’t like it. Build on that and maintain a dignified silence while working on your own confidence.

Good grief ! why on earth would you give up a social housing property !!! They are like gold dust down here and families wait for years !

Ignore the neighbours, you don't need to be friends with them and you certainly don't need to know about any group chats !

Live your life, get on with it.

agree with the previous posters: don't give up the house. It will only be a matter of time before one of your next door neighbours needs a favour and seeks you out again. As long as you stay neutral/polite, this is bound to end soon enough - they won't be standing so much time outside in autumn any way. I can understand it is very painful now, but it won't be like this always.

Moving might mean you end up with possibly much worse neighbours. Someone I know in local HA accommodation had a neighbour threatening arson (mental health issues obviously)and they were all evacuated. Plus another neighbour walks around semi naked when high and deals drugs. We live in a very quiet historic city so it’s not usually a problem area. She is now moving to a new over 50s flat as she herself has anxiety issues and it’s made her ill. Neighbours anywhere can be so hit and miss and if they’re not speaking to you at least you can ignore that. Definitely do a lot of research on any new houses offered as my friend discovered some places seem to be pockets of trouble.

"I have asked the HA for an exchange but they refused."

Why? Challenge that.

Just ignore the neighbours. You have not done anything wrong and they are the ones being childish. You are not the only person to suffer just speak to the neighbour opposite

you can look into house swapping surely?

Who cares? They’re doing you a favour surely? You can just pretend they don’t exist, or call a breezy ‘morning!’ whenever you see them.

We moved from a nice enough but small house, to a larger house in the same area. We just fancied more space.
Larger house had enough space, certainly, but also had awful neighbours. Music, parties, shouting, arguments both inside the house (we were semi-detached and connected) and outside the house.
We wished we had never moved and it took us several years to raise the funds to be able to move again.
Whilst I understand it's not nice having people ignore you, it's bliss compared to what it could be.

OP, do not give up a secure home for this reason.
You will likely bitterly regret it.
Better to be ignored than deal with noisy people.
Better the devil you know.
Embrace the peace.
Do not act in haste.

Why let them win; they're trying to get to you. I expect they'll take great pleasure in seeing you upset. The best revenge is to be happy and I would not show any reaction to them at all. Am sure they'll get bored soon and find another victim.

I had neighbours like yours. I refused to let them hound me out as it would mean they had "won", so instead I I would give them a cheery "hello" every time our paths crossed and it annoyed the shit out of them. Once they realised they no longer had any "power" over me they stopped and, whilst they argued and bickered amongst themselves, I enjoyed a more calm and happy life. None of them were worth giving up my home for. I've lived here for 26 years now and most of them have moved and been replaced with a much better bunch of neighbours.

I have been taking on board the advice on here, I have been just going about my usual business.

I did feel better though when I overheard two neighbours bitching about another neighbour.
As PP have said it will only be a matter of time before they turn on each other lol.

I am happy that I stood up for myself, why should my property be a playground for kids?
At least they all got the message and keep well of it now (touch wood).