to think nearly 14 months is a bit too early for the TERRIBLE TWOS to start...

[PuppyMonkey]

... can someone tell DD2 she shouldn't yet be having massive rolling on the floor tantrums if she doesn't get her own way. She's not supposed to to that for another year or so is she?

Thank you.

My 17 mo dd flings stuff around everywhere. I feel like doing that sometimes too! I am trying to do the distract/ empathise/ ignore thing. It doesn't seem to be getting better - but Mij I like the advice that I am just setting the ground rules for later on.

ds is 22 months and been going strong with mini tantrums since around 14 months....he just wails mostly if he can't do something like get his scooter sideways through the door for instance.

dh has awful trouble getting him into the buggy but i find "are you going to be a big boy and show us which way to the shops/park/home" works a treat.

good luck!

I feel so much better reading this! My 12 mth old DD has just started crawling and this has coincided with getting very very stroppy indeed when she doesn't get her own way or when I do something she doesn't like (which is usually for her own good, like poking the cats bum NOT a great idea). I was wondering what it was so v pleased to find this thread. She also does the highchair rocking, banging her head on the back of it, furiously pulling at things. She is also large for her age (91st centile) and freakishly strong so I struggle to fight with her over things. (That's not as bad as it sounds, you know what I mean....)
The worse thing is she sets off her twin brother who just has a scream because he can even though he is perfectly fine. Grrr.

Today I will try and see things from her perspective and see how it goes.

oh, this thread made me feel so much better! my son started tantruming at 9months, throwing his head back and sometimes stopping breathing for a few seconds, doctor says he's just advanced! (lucky us!)he's super independent and hates holding our hnds/going in the buggy, he's only 14months but sometimes we walk everywhere to avoid the fights. he only goes in the buggy when he's desperate to go out and he has food in his hand...good to know were not alone, will attempt the toddler perspective next time it happens, but we have stone floors and i'm scared he'll hit his head when he flings himself backwards...sigh...

My dd's got a bit of a temper on her, at 12 months. But it is complete frustration I think. She started getting a bit like it at 10/11 months when she was trying to stay steady on her feet. Now completely walking, she's getting worse.

She gets mad with me if I touch something of hers and she's playing with it, if I try to help her, if I don't try to help lol. She literally turns to me and lets rip whilst turning a rather violent shade of plum. She could rival Mount Vesuvious at times.

As someone else has said though, I got down to her level to see how her world was, and it must be tough for them. Poor mites, they've got to learn everything and it must be incredibly frustrating, especially at this age when they're into everything. They're also learning what they can and cannot have, and they want everything!

Does make me chuckle though! I wouldn't worry, it's all part of their learning curve.

My DS had been raging at the injustice of life since 11 months or so. He even hits himself on the head! We just ignore/distract without getting drawn in.

Yes our 15 month old started doing this a few weeks ago. He has become a complete drama queen and regularly rolls around the floor, ranting about the injustice of life!

Great timing. DS (16 months) had his first full blown tantrum tonight and I had started thinking oh my god, is this how it is going to be? love what the fuck!-ness. Poor boy, I dared to take him out of the bath at the wrong time and put him in a sleepsuit that was far too small

DS2 (my 3rd DC) started the youngest, at around 14-15 months, whereas as my eldest was chilled out the longest, till he was two, then he got the terrible twos and threes big time and hit pushed and scratched other children then improved big time from before he was 4. DD started around 18 months and is miles better now at 3.3. I'm hoping that going thru it early will mean it ends earlier. Younger means it's less easy to talk them out of it (but easier to distract) and they understand less and are more likely to hurt themselves, and don't understand time out whereas older means they have more strength and are more likely to run away.

Someone said they all have their mad phase, what you don't want is for them to have it when they're 5 or 6!!! Saw a 6 yr old like that at a soft play party last year, he was pushing and hitting loads of kids including DS1, it was not nice.

we had a fall to the floor hitting the floor with hands while screeching with unfairness of my denying him something...
it went on for an hour...
oh you ask what did I deny him?
the chance of getting run over actually as the fast free running little fecker made a bid for freedom
he was 13 mths...
he has been screeching at cupboards being closed etc but have to say he is better now.
Bit of a shock to me as dd nor ds1 had any temper as toddlers....

Oh you make me feel like such a bad mum! DS1 at 3 is being satan's spawn in a manipulative not-listening sort of way, so when DS2 (14 mo) kicks off I just scream "NOT NOW, CHILD!" at him.

And all he wants to do is big boy stuff. Poor baby.

I will try to be nice mummy insteead of bastard shouty lady!

Ok, I tried to see it from my daughter's perspective today, and I can see that having your nappy changed when you wanted to carry on playing is annoying, but surely sitting in poo isn't fun?
Seriously, anyone got any ideas to deal with this? In playgroup today she was furious when the lady had to pack the toys up, just wailed and wailed. (I was laughing as it was quite funny and so silly). At 12 months she is far to young to reason with and distraction doesn't always work, and I can't yet tell what she wants to put it right. Any ideas/tips?

My 16 month old has just started the tantrums as well. He threw himself on the floor and banged his head off the floor because horrible mummy wouldn't let him play with a wine glass

Just as I though things were getting a bit easier as well.

Penona - reason probably doesn't work for years but talking still sometimes works, I know DD understood far more than I realised at 12 mos.

DD used to go MAD at having her nappy changed, in fact any kind of being messed with activity. I reckon it's a control thing.

Toddlers spend their whole day having things done to them, and even if we give them choices between breakfast cereals, t-shirts or toys to play with, adults make all the decisions.

And they have so much more knowledge than ability. How frustrating must that be? I recikon DD started her proper paddies when she realised that as soon as she started to be able to walk to/reach things, we started putting them out of the way, taking things away and saying 'no'. You spend yer whole life looking at those stairs and thinking how great it wil be when you can climb them, and then as soon as you can, Bam, stair gate goes up. Bloody hell, I'd have thrown a strop too.

Penona, is your DD able to get involved in the putting away activity as a game? May be worth a try although no promises it'll work!

And the nappy thing, well, I had to resort to trapping her sideways under one leg to change her. The strops lasted until she decided it was more fun to lie down for me to do it, than have a wrestling match that I always won. Oh, and making nappy changing a whole load of fun once I got her pinned to the mat helped too - tickling, singing, raspberry blowing, book reading, silly faces, ridiculous over-cheerfulness til you're ready to burst a blood vessel, brought out all the big guns til she got the message.

Drives you nuts though, doesn't it?

The playgroup thing sounds like intense disappointment that it had to stop. Not unreasonable really to express an emotion, but a pain in the arse to deal with when you have a howling child and everyone's staring at you!

DS is 14 months old and he is having screaming tantrums if he doesn't get his own way.

Oh, and dispel any ideas that I have a perfect child, DD screamed a cafe down because I ate a bit of cake. MY bit of cake, she had chosen her bits and was hogging them like only a toddler could, but apparently she'd changed her mind the in the pico second it took me to get MY bit to my gob.

ds (also nearly 14m) took his first steps today. Some of them included climbing on a coffee table to reach out-of-the way stuff. I can see I am going to have to brace myself...

Oh I'm glad I found this thread and its not just me! My DS is 12 months old and he's very strong willed. He recently started whacking himself on the head which I eventually realised seemed to be related to frustration. For a while now its been a struggle to get him into the buggy - he does a backward bend into a C shape and its practically impossible to get him into it without distracting him with something. Sometimes this works, other times my keys or mobile or whatever it is gets flung onto the floor. I watch other mothers with their babies sitting quietly in their prams with envy!

Ooh, my thread, my thread, look at you all!! I just feel so much better knowing I haven't got the only devil child in Britain!!

I work three days a week and childminder is on hols this week and next - so I'm having some extra days off. Been dreading it . But guess what? She's been a little sweetheart so far.

Apart from throwing food on the floor all the time.

But I looked at it from her perspective and decided she's right. It is really funny!!!!

My daughter had her first tantrum aged nine months. I kid you not. She lay in her cot, red in the face, and drummed her tiny heels into the mattress, screaming with rage and thumping her wrists.

She actually taught her toddler brother how to 'do' tantrums. Little darling.

Thanks Mij, I have been trying the'nappy changing is fun thing' which is great if I can get her brother or the cats to entertain her. Otherwise it's the play with the mobile phone trick...

I will try and reason with her a bit, she does clearly understand alot and always babbles back at me when I speak to her. Maybe should give her more credit!

Puppymonkey you are right - throwing food on the floor is actually quite good fun if you don't want to eat it! So I guess we can't blame them (just wear a waterproof suit at all times....)

Funny babies.....

I'm now finding NOT laughing at things that, in theory, as a grown up, I shouldn't find funny and probably, in the long run, shouldn't be encouraging if I want a beautifully well-behaved child, Very Hard Indeed.

When she farts she giggles, and I just can't help giggling too cos she has such a great laugh and such a cheeky face on. And I've never known anyone to blow such fantastic raspberries on my stomach. Not that there's a massive role call of people to compare with there, but they really are spectacular.

Last night I almost gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh when she put her nappy on her head (unused, thankfully) but was trying to be very stern cos it'd taken me and DP 15 minutes to get her anywhere near the stage of entertaining the idea of a nighttime nappy.