Friend asked to babysit with a sick child.

[Springsunshine28]

My friend asked me to look after her 3-year-old on Saturday as she was working all day. I’ve got a 4-year-old and they usually play nicely together.
The problem is, her little one turned up with a really snotty nose and a bad cough. My DC only just got over a nasty virus last week, and it always takes him ages to recover from colds/coughs. I didn’t say anything at the time and still took the child in, but I’m now feeling a bit annoyed as it doesn’t seem fair to expose my DC again, especially as we’re going on holiday in two weeks.
I know kids get exposed to germs at nursery/school anyway, but I still feel uncomfortable about it.

Say no in future.

i would of asked her if he was well enough to be out of the house when she knocked on the door to be honest.

I’d have assessed how poorly he was and asked her to collect if he was too ill.

He is actually well but just very snotty and coughing. She said he only started to have the snot the night before.

The thing is he is actually quite well aside from the snotty nose and cough. No fever either.

Sounds like he’s brewing something.
I get that your annoyed but
I think your friend will really appreciate the help.

Grim.
My ds went to karate last night and there was a girl there who confessed that she'd been sick earlier in the evening but get dad said she was fine to go to class. After 10 mins she fled to the bathroom to puke and stayed there. WTF is wrong with these parents?

I think snotty noses and coughs are just part of childhood. I don’t think I’d see any of my friends if we stayed at home when one of our children had a runny nose. I feel like these viruses can be picked up anywhere - took my little boy swimming on Saturday and all of us have come down with a cold since. If the child had D&V, chicken pox or something like that I would be annoyed but if he would have been well enough to go to school then I wouldn’t think anything of it.

A runny nose on its own wouldn’t concern me, but the cough would,depending on how frequent or severe it is. If it’s just occasional, I could probably overlook it; her mum might not even have noticed.
I'm aware that viruses are circulating everywhere, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my child close one-on-one contact with a child who’s actively coughing.
If this is the case, she shouldn't have put you on this position.

I'm kind of halfway on this one, it just sounds like a cold and with no fever he'd be fine for nursery or any other childcare. Given she was working, I'm guessing she'd needed to have called in sick/emergency leave which seems a bit ott for a cold.
Having said all that, you were doing her a massive favour, she knows that your LO will inevitably catch it after a whole day together and it could develop into something worse.
Tricky one, I can see both sides. If she had childcare options but had chosen you because she thought itd be more fun, like her mum or someone who could pop over and look after her child without exposing them to another little one, then she should have done that. If she literally couldn't work and has no option other than you, I can see why she did what she did (still annoying for you though). Hope your little is OK!

I’d be annoyed by this. People that do this are essentially just sticking two fingers up to the people they willingly make ill. The favour was to babysit, not to babysit and family be made ill from it. It’s a shitty thing to do and people prey on it being awkward for the other person to call out as with any other ultra CF behaviour.
She could have called and checked first. There’s also a fuckton of covid going around at the moment.

As you say, they will be exposed to it at nursery and school. If I missed work every time my DC had a runny nose and/or cough I imagine I would be sacked. I wouldn't be bothered if a child was brought to me like that, I have looked after children with colds.

Rude and selfish to rock up with a snotty child. I would judge her for that. It’s very annoying to have someone knowingly bring an illness that could end up infecting your whole family and fucking up your holiday.

OP your annoyance is justified but it’s too late to complain now. However, your “friend” was out of order for knowingly putting your child in at risk of being ill again

I would put her on notice that in future, you will not be looking after her poorly child under any circumstances, as doing that would be unfair to you and your own child

It boggles the kind how inconsiderate people are despite having gone through a recent pandemic (in fact we still are in a pandemic!).

Basic protocol - isolate your child and if you and your child can, wear a mask. I’ve not had a sniffle since the start of the pandemic as we wear masks and if anyone in our household becomes ill, we immediately isolate.

There's a good chance it's covid as it's been ever-present this summer and slowly increasing. I'd ask your friend to covid test her child (whilst noting that often positives don't show up till day 4 or 5 of symptoms) so that you can be aware if it's something you're likely to catch. And if you or your child develop symptoms, test yourselves and try not to spread it further.

Incredibly rude and selfish. Never ceases to amaze me how many parents think this behaviour is fine.

Last year we had someone bring their child to a play date on a Wednesday, a couple of days later she messaged me to say their child had hand foot and mouth. The bit I was furious about was that apparently DC nursery has told them this illness was identified on the Monday. So before our playdate.

Had she given me this information I would have said no. And of course my DC and then me got the illness. DC was up all night screaming for several nights.

I was so angry I never did a playdate with them again.

TLDR no you aren't being unreasonable. I dont know why people are so bloody selfish.