For asking - help me!! I need to pack to move/be organised and I'm 36 weeks pregnant

[StirrednotFried]

Hive mind, I need direction. I'm usually an accomplished, level headed and fairly intelligent human being but right now I'm overwhelmed, exhausted and did I say, overwhelmed?

I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant. Married (DH is more than doing his bit) and have 3 helpers at home off school ranging in age from 17 to 12 - all hardworking, capable and supportive. Baby is mine and DH's first (and last together).

Ok, this is the dilemma. We live in our current home, very comfortable and perfectly ready to bring a baby home. We have 5 bedrooms, lots of space in general and no need to really 'set' anything up.

We purchased a second property as a dream project to renovate and then move into. It's about 5 minutes from where we live, beautifully set in an acre of land with stables attached and once completed, will be a truly wonderful family home.

It's likely that baby is going to arrive in the next 2/2.5 weeks (c-section needed) - DH has been working flat out to get the other house ready in time. Kids have spent most of their summer there too building furniture etc and helping where they can. I finished work yesterday and am now on 'mat leave'.

We are at a halfway house point, packing here while frantically trying to get things ready there. I'm feeling super anxious about not having a space ready for the baby and or facilitating the move so near baby's arrival.

DH and the kids are fantastic and cracking on, telling me to rest and not worry but I cant.

I need to know if this makes sense:

I'm thinking that I set baby's things up in our current bedroom.
That way if the other house isn't ready in time, we're sorted here.

We pack as much as we don't use daily and get that stored at the other house (I have a huge car, seats down I can get a lot in there). We ensure we have the things we need to hand and only move those when we're ready.

I need to pack hospital bags, baby and mine - please someone give me a shake with a list or a to-do on this. The online lists are huge!

I fit the car seat in my car, ready to go.

Shit, we don't have any nappies - ok, I start a list.

I then need to think about notifying utilities etc but that won't be until we actually move.

We are not in a chain or anything. We own the renovation property outright and we will be putting our current one on the market after we've fully moved out. Our only deadline is baby's arrival.

Please, please help me to structure a process, timetable, to-do, anything to get some semblance of a plan together because right now I'm sat thinking WTF!?

Thank you 😫♥️

You are being waaaaaaaaay too ambitious

just set up a cot and changing mat in current house and give yourself a few weeks to get settled into life with the baby and then move.

I had to move when my baby was 3 weeks old post c section because we were moving and thats just the date it felt and had no option to stay on (I would have given the choice)

You are really lucky the move isn't time sensitive

Focus on hospital bag and having the current bedroom set up

You need very little for a newborn just a place for them to sleep and be changed and some clothes.

Just to add, other than being utterly exhausted, physically I'm perfectly fine to crack on.

Kids are all hard workers so tasks can be allocated and family and friends are offering daily help.

I just need a structure to work from for my own sanity.

We need to pack/organise:
5 bedrooms
A huge internal garage/pantry/gym
Kitchen
Office
Lounge
3 bathrooms (1 small toilet too but nothing much in there)
A hallway with various storage items containing shoes, coats etc.
Large back garden, BBQ's, furniture, gardening tools

Mind has gone blank....

Have you asked DH what his process / timetable like? There isn't much point you putting lots of time and getting stressed out into this if he has a plan that he is working through with the kids.

Buy nappies, put baby things in your room with moses basket set up and the rest in open boxes and then ask DH what you can do that would be helpful.

You might end up with the least sexy jobs but makes sense to let him lead right now.

This is what I need! Sense check, thank you.

The move isn't just being driven by the rest of my family. I'd like to bring baby home there if we can - ideas for this are very welcome.

I need a plan and a backup plan!

My DH moved us whilst I was in hospital having DS (prematurely and by C-section). My tip: book a removal company with a packing service. Best money we’ve ever spent.

Honestly. Just stop. Sounds like the kids have had no Summer, thats not fair. Call it a day. Get the room ready where you are, half a day tops and go have some fun with the family, aim to move in new place for Christmas.

We're both very involved in the project management for the new place so I've got good insight. We'll be cutting it close with one major internal job, fitting of new radiators throughout but we should be 90% there by the end of this month.

DH has legitimately broken himself to get things done, he's used all his AL and then unpaid leave to take time from his very full on job. Then when he's been working, he's finished and worked through the night, sleeping on a mattress at times. It's partly why I want to do my best to get moved but don't know if it's doable.

I completely agree around the least sexy jobs and him leading. Genuinely, he's been amazing. I want to lighten the load of packing this place up on top of everything else.

I'm thinking the same thing, set baby's stuff up in our bedroom.

Oh gosh OP. I feel you.

We moved out of our house when DS was three weeks old - not our choice, lovely landlord had to evict us because of something outside of his control. We were in the process of buying a new house when DD was born - offer was made before we even knew we were pregnant but didn't end up completing until she was two months old! And it was a renovation house so she lived with bare floorboards and peeling wallpaper for a while.

Newborns need very little. A next-to-me crib in your room. Ours had storage underneath and that held all of DS's clothes, muslins and nappies for the first three weeks of his life. Literally all his things were in the cot.

Set that up in your current place - set everything else up at the new place. Even if baby is a month or so old when you get to living there, that's fine.

In terms of hospital bags - take food! Our hospital didn't have a microwave or fridge (other than for breastmilk) so we had to plan pretty effectively for food. For all his wonderful traits, DH is entirely useless when hungry. Having said that, I ended up not at all hungry in my 37 hour labour with DS so didn't eat anything, and DD came so fast I wouldn't have even had time! Things like tinned fruit are a good shout when you want food that feels a bit fresher.

Otherwise, headphones, lip balm, moisturiser, eye mask, ear plugs, hairband/headband, nail file... I get so dry in hospital air! Anything you'd need on a plane (except your passport). A pj top that buttons/zips at the front.

Pay movers! Everyone sounds shattered by this.

In your situation I would either put the brakes on and move when baby is about a month, let the kids have some time to relax and you all enjoy the new baby. OR book a professional removals company to pack the house up and move you ASAP. You will only have one first day at home with baby and this is your last pregnancy, don’t try to push yourself to do too much. But do buy some nappies (get them delivered!).

Just have the baby in your current house, then gradually move. Jeez - you are making a huge drama out of nothing. There is no reason you have to take the baby home to your new house. Enjoy the luxury of moving at your leisure. This is a very first world problem.

I do understand your perspective but disagree on the kids. We've interspersed them doing what they want around the renovation. Oldest has spent a lot of time with her BF, here and at his place, middle one with friends, is off out today to see them too and youngest has loved learning how to build and DIY - they've all been very involved and have picked furniture, colour schemes and done numerous tip runs. They're not whingy kids and they know what we're trying to achieve.

We've agreed we'll be going away at the end of the year to have a break together as a family and to show them how proud we are of their hard work :)

This is what we've agreed. Did it work well for you? How did you organise the pre-packing part? Or did the removal people do that too? And who unpacked/organised at the other end?

This. You brain has gone into panicked nesting mode. You are not alone, mine did this too and now I look back I wonder wtf I was doing making everything so stressful 😂🙈.

set up a little baby area in your current bedroom. They barely need anything, just a cot and changing area. Get through the birth and the first couple of months in a house that works and doesn’t have a million teething issues (as your new one probably will). Then hire a moving company to do all the moving for you, they will also make up furniture so your kids aren’t spending their summer holidays doing it.

Book a packing service
Book a packing service
Book a packing service
Book a packing service

Honestly, as PP said it is the best money you will ever spend. Or stay until after baby is born

I think you’re crazy to try and move before the baby is here. It’s an unnecessary self imposed deadline. We moved when our first was 8 weeks old, it was fine. Take a bit more time to make sure the new house is totally ready, and move at a steady pace

Just focus on the hospital bag, nappies and set up the crib and then that's off your list. If you have energy / emotional energy after that (and still have time before baby) reconvene and plan the rest. Might be more fulfilling to do it at leisure and get things exactly you wish them after birth. I didn't have any huge projects but at 37 weeks was up and down the loft like a jack in a box and driving to the tip obsessively trying to marie kondo my home - nesting instinct!

This

You could sort baby / necessary kids stuff and pay for packing.
If I knew you even vaguely I’d be willing to help you - put a call out for anyone you know to offer support. If packing is sorted then cleaning and looking after kids is still up for grabs.
However ensure your partner takes time off and plans well - no one wants to help if the husband is being a lazy arse.

I would stay put and nest where you are and then move once baby is a month or two and you’ve recovered from your c section. There are always things that go wrong like a shower not working or something, and you have no financial pressure to move as you seem to be able to pay for both houses ok?
otherwise if you must move, then just bring your maternity clothes and toiletries and baby stuff over to your bedroom there, and stuff for making up bottles etc - let the kids and husbands stuff go over gradually?
or - get moving people to do it all in a day

I had a c-section and definitely would not have been able to move house until at least 2 months afterwards. I couldn't believe how much it took out of me. I was 39 so maybe a bit older than you. You won't be physically able to pack and shift boxes and you will still have a newborn to look after. If it were me, I would try and get moved before the baby arrives but as others have said, get the moses basket set up in your room - let's face it they are easy to move at the drop of a hat.

DH said they were like ants, everywhere and he couldn’t keep up! Remember to set aside crockery etc and enough clean clothes otherwise they will pack everything. He had family members helping him unpack at the other end and we had a very disorganised kitchen for a while! You could label cupboards with what you want in each and get your DC to pitch in. Good luck!

I'm not sure I have much advice to offer, despite having moved at a similar stage. (It was supposed to be at least a month before she arrived, but with delays and then her premature arrival, it ended up being 5 days after we got out of the prem baby unit. Like you we were lucky enough to be able to overlap the properties, but only a little.) I think that being ready for the baby to arrive in the current house is sensible, so that there is no pressure, especially if they turn up early.

The main problem with a packing service is probably where things end up. We'd actually managed to pack nearly everything ourselves, which meant everything was labelled with the room it was going to. If you've got an easy one-to-one correspondence between rooms at the old and new house, that's probably not a problem, but if not, then you might want to prioritise packing/labelling anything that won't be going to a corresponding room (or moving it to the corresponding room in the current house). Having the teen helpers for unpacking may be helpful, but you might want to map out where you want things in the kitchen, for instance.

Most useful discovery: the top of two packing boxes is exactly the right size for a changing mat. Hey presto, a changing station in every room, at whatever height I wanted! (Ours were mostly full of books, so nice and solid as a base.)

Biggest mistake: bunging all my non-maternity clothes into a box as I outgrew them, on the grounds that I wouldn't need them again until we'd moved. I ended up having to send DH home from the hospital to rummage for something that would fit. He did okay, fortunately.

On the day, DH and the removers left while I was still sat on a beanbag feeding DD. I had a friend booked to pick up me, DD, beanbag, Moses basket and car seat. I did very little to help with the move on the day.

Good luck!

Is your DH going to be able to take any time off after the baby is born? You’re going to need him to help out when you come home from hospital after a c section.

If I were you, I’d be focusing a lot more on the new baby than the new house at this stage. Babies don’t care where they sleep but YOU need a comfortable, safe, clean and peaceful house to recover from the birth. Sorry to ask, is this your first baby and the older DCs your stepchildren?

Also I agree that you should get professional packers in to help.

I think the most obvious (and in my opinion only sensible option if you’re desperate to be in the new place) is to book a full packing service for asap before c-section.
Get in the new house now and use the energy you have already being fully in the new house before baby, and then it’s already ready to
come back to after hospital.
You clearly have some money to be able to chuck at the problem and it would take the stress off of your dh, the kids and especially you.
either that or resign yourself to staying put for the next few months…