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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this legit and I'm too cynical?

74 replies

settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 00:52

This is more of a who's right than AIBU, but I'm going to come straight out and say who's who.

Going on holiday next week, and booked a cat sitter to come and feed the cat. We actually messaged a few different ones and struggled to find availability - our usual one was booked up. Anyway found this lady who used to help us out, she said yes, no problem.

She came to do a visit to sort arrangements etc and brought a couple with her, they are going to help her do the cat visits. They said they might not be able to do two per day (which is what we wanted), so I said oh ok it may not work out then - to which DH said it's ok we can make it work, i.e. With friends/parents helping out. I thought if we could do that we wouldn't need a cat sitter in the first place but I let it go.

So fast forward DH goes to drop keys off and gets chatting, this guy says that the original lady who helped us no longer lives in the area. I said (to DH later when he's telling me) well why not just say no then, but apparently she wanted to help us, despite not having seen us in years (and only then for cat sitting, we didn't know each other). So the couple are going to be doing all the visits as they live closer. They agreed to do it as a favour to original lady (their friend) but have now told DH they're happy to do it for free! We have never met these people. Obviously we won't be allowing that and will be paying them for the visits they do.

DH feels they are just nice people, I agree with that and they seem lovely but I was brought up with "if it seems to good to be true it probably is" and to be more wary? I just don't know why someone would do that or behave like that. Is it me and I'm too paranoid or is DH too trusting?!

If they are genuinely this lovely then great, and it's nothing about them personally, as they do seem nice. I just feel like it's a bit strange... And I have handed my house key over to them.

OP posts:
WilliamBell · 20/08/2025 00:58

Yeah I wouldn't be giving my house keys to random strangers

settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 01:03

Well to be fair I would give them to a stranger who had advertised as a cat sitter so it's more about their behaviour if you know what I mean? Than the fact they are strangers

OP posts:
XWKD · 20/08/2025 01:07

If they're friends of your cat-sitter, and you met them through her, it's probably ok.

NoThanksNeeded · 20/08/2025 01:29

Maybe they're worried you'll start asking them to cat sit regularly and so are making it clear they aren't a business

cinnamonbunlover · 20/08/2025 01:38

”the lady that used to help you out” the context is missing- friend / neighbour / relative how did you know her and what did you pay her?

settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 01:40

cinnamonbunlover · 20/08/2025 01:38

”the lady that used to help you out” the context is missing- friend / neighbour / relative how did you know her and what did you pay her?

Sorry no she was a cat sitter, we paid her. Then she must just not have been available the next time and we found someone else, then that second one became our "usual" cat sitter if that makes sense

OP posts:
settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 01:41

NoThanksNeeded · 20/08/2025 01:29

Maybe they're worried you'll start asking them to cat sit regularly and so are making it clear they aren't a business

Yes maybe!!

OP posts:
Ohlifelife · 20/08/2025 05:15

I wouldn't hand over my house keys to strangers. And I wouldn't be happy having strangers look after my cat actually.

I know my cat didn't like going into a cattery but on the rare occasions relatives couldn't look after her whilst I was on holiday she went there.

indoorplantqueen · 20/08/2025 05:54

I would never hand my keys or animals to strangers I’d found on the internet. I would want trusted recommendations and to meet the person in person and for them to meet my animals.

TimeForATerf · 20/08/2025 06:04

No way would I let strangers look after my cat. Thank goodness I have a great cattery and adult children with cats. At the very least you need a ring doorbell and relatives who you can call on if they don’t come as promised.

can you not book a cattery? They usually have availability in September when the schools go back. Summer holidays are admittedly well booked up.

IamnotSethRogan · 20/08/2025 06:07

This is the sort of situation I'd find myself in. If someone said "oh these people I know are in a bit of a bind and can't get a cat sitter. I'm not in the area anymore do you think you could help out?"

I'd probably say yes and feel a bit awkward about taking money.

Empress13 · 20/08/2025 06:11

indoorplantqueen · 20/08/2025 05:54

I would never hand my keys or animals to strangers I’d found on the internet. I would want trusted recommendations and to meet the person in person and for them to meet my animals.

💯 this! I’m assuming your original cat sitter was verified as a business hence had insurance etc and would have a lot to lose if things went wrong. These people are just random friends with I’m assuming no insurance. Then again maybe I’m just cynical but my pets are my life

QuaverQuanta · 20/08/2025 06:12

I wouldnt leave my car or house keys with an random id just met in the street snd these people are no more than that really. If expect a pet sitter to
be a legit business ie be licensed and insured.

settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 07:44

indoorplantqueen · 20/08/2025 05:54

I would never hand my keys or animals to strangers I’d found on the internet. I would want trusted recommendations and to meet the person in person and for them to meet my animals.

Yes that is what happened, original car sitter was recommended by others and this couple recommended by her. They have come to visit and meet the cat as I said

OP posts:
settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 07:46

TimeForATerf · 20/08/2025 06:04

No way would I let strangers look after my cat. Thank goodness I have a great cattery and adult children with cats. At the very least you need a ring doorbell and relatives who you can call on if they don’t come as promised.

can you not book a cattery? They usually have availability in September when the schools go back. Summer holidays are admittedly well booked up.

I have both of those things and no I would never put them in a cattery, my personal choice.

OP posts:
OrsolaRosso · 20/08/2025 07:51

Are these people DBS checked, and are they insured?

Spies · 20/08/2025 07:53

OrsolaRosso · 20/08/2025 07:51

Are these people DBS checked, and are they insured?

This ^^

The whole thing sounds very unprofessional and there's no way I would be trusting my pets or my house to these people.

myplace · 20/08/2025 07:55

I’d help out if I heard of someone struggling to find a sitter. Because I know we love our pets and sometimes get a bit stuck when arrangements don’t work out.

starsintheirears · 20/08/2025 07:57

I find it curious that you wouldn't use a cattery (totally fair enough btw - your choice) and yet seem happy to use strangers who arent DBS checked or business insured.

My dog suffered an avoidable accident after being in the care of someone from the online Rover pet sitting service and the vets bills cost 4k. This was someone with great reviews etc That was all covered by their insurance but if it had not have been then I dread to think what would have happened.

Empress13 · 20/08/2025 07:58

myplace · 20/08/2025 07:55

I’d help out if I heard of someone struggling to find a sitter. Because I know we love our pets and sometimes get a bit stuck when arrangements don’t work out.

Yes but OP does not know these people. They need to be reputable and have insurance. Would you seriously let someone you’ve never met before or who runs a reputable pet sitting business enter your home and look after your cats ?

Thefuture2025 · 20/08/2025 08:00

Nope, nope, nope!! Sounds like they might be house sitting. Its crazy to give strangers access.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 20/08/2025 08:00

Cat sitters don't need to be DBS checked but this sounds very messy to me. You want to pay for a particular level of service and what you're getting is something much less reliable than that, from strangers, that you're not paying for and therefore can't really enforce or complain about when it goes wrong. I wouldn't like it, personally.

Mulledjuice · 20/08/2025 08:00

It doesn't sound any more dodgy than any other person you dont know who has bo credentials/insurance having your house keys to feed your cat

ToKittyornottoKitty · 20/08/2025 08:00

I wouldn’t do this, my cat sitter is a registered business owner with insurance, references, experience… why pay 2 random strangers? Do they have insurance if something goes wrong? Put your foot down

settlethisdebate · 20/08/2025 08:01

Mulledjuice · 20/08/2025 08:00

It doesn't sound any more dodgy than any other person you dont know who has bo credentials/insurance having your house keys to feed your cat

Edited

Edited my post as you edited yours and my reply no longer makes sense!

OP posts: