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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being selfish?

1 reply

Raynaodld · 19/08/2025 21:37

My ex and I have 2 toddlers: 3 and 1. We broke up about 2 months ago due to something small but I think the underlying reason was that he wasn’t cut out for family life. He now only sees the kids on the weekends, has been going on holidays and talking to new girls- living his best life kid free. On the weekends he brings his teenage sister to help babysit the kids as he can’t even do that by himself. When we was together he treated me like a bang maid and never would cook or change a nappy. Now after two months of living on his own he is suggesting he moves back in. It’s clear to me this is not for the kids but strategically for his finances and he probably spent a lot on his party lifestyle. The house is in his name so he does have a right to move back in and I’d struggle right now getting my own place as I’m a stay at home mom. On top of moving in, he is going to bring his sister who is facing a very horrible time with her parents and can no longer stay in that environment. I am happy for her to move in but I am a bit gutted he will be too as I have just had to go through so much with the break up and have my hands full with the kids and trying to get back into education. As he owns a business with employees he will not be able to watch his sister and he can’t even watch his own kids! That means it will all fall on me. When I try to explain this to family they say I’m being selfish as her needs come first. I will find it incredibly hard trying to get on my feet after being a stay at home mom of two toddlers and have another person to look after. I think his the selfish one! And I can see him expecting me to raise her while he continues on his magnificent lifestyle.

OP posts:
Ohlifelife · 19/08/2025 21:46

Your priority is your two children.
I'm struggling to see why your ex partner's younger sister is any way your responsibility.
Do you have any family you can move in with while you get your independence from this man? Look for work, see what benefits you are entitled to and make sure he contributes financially for his children.

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