My 2.5 year old keeps hurting other children.

[Verytiredmumofone]

Was anyone else's toddler like this? Was it just a stage and what made them stop?
Basically, anywhere we go where there are other children, I am on edge aand have to be right next to her constantly because, at some point, she ends up either grabbing, scratching or hitting another child. I don't know what to do as I've tried everything. I've tried the firm approach and I've tried the gentle "no, kind hands" approach.
Anything like baby groups, soft play, even just visiting a family member with children always ends up the same. She will hurt them, someyimes randomly, sometimes with a clear reason such as sharing a toy etc. She randomly scratched her baby cousins face the other week and left marks on her.

Please help!!

Just a stage. Hover and redirect quickly.

I really sympathise as my ds was a fucking nightmare like this. Those toddler groups run in church halls MN love were a no go for us. He’d also randomly show aggression at other times, like once in a playground some girls came running in and he went for them like a Rottweiler guarding its territory. It was awful and it’s very isolating.

He is four now - five in December and it’s mostly a thing of the past. Occasionally he can get too physical in soft play (climbing over other kids sort of thing) but he’s outgrown his thuggish ways, thank god!

It's a stage. One of mine was the same, and my dgs was AWFUL for about 6 months aged 2. We (I look after him half the week) stopped going to toddler groups, or home playdates and only met up with friends in parks and wide spaces where there was more room and fewer toys to fight over/want.

During that stage he would hit, snatch and if possible (and without warning) try and bite. DD and I made sure we were consistent... followed his every move, watched him like a hawk ready to intervene and on the rare occasion we were too late... removed him immediately (apologising as we retreated!) By 2.6 he grasped that hurting meant...going home.
It was a few months more before we could start to relax but at 4 now I can't remember the last time he was deliberately unkind, and he has lots of friends he plays nicely with! Hang in there!

I know an adult who was apparently like this as a young child and he was actually one of kindest most gentlest people I know...!

He was so embarrassed that he apparently went through a stage like this as a tot.

It’s a phase. Unfortunately you’re just going to have to hover until she moves out of it. In the meantime try structured activities over free play type playgroups as she’ll be focused on the activity and less opportunity to get up close with other kids. Lots and lots of praise when she does remember gentle hands etc. and a swift but calm no and removal when she does hurt someone. You can also try to model at home how she can use words to express issues with other kids like ‘no’ or ‘stop it’ rather than hands and talk about how hitting etc. hurts and ask how she would feel if someone hit her.