What basic activities does your husband / partner seek praise or appreciation for?

[Stuporwoman]

My partner always tells me that he turned the shower cold for a few seconds at the end. Or lists everything he ate in the whole day when he’s dieting. I’m running out of validation responses. Is it mean to say “so what?”?

Why are you supposed to be impressed at him running the shower cold?

Just my opinion because you asked: It's mean but it's extra mean if you expect validation or praise from him for any of the small things you view as accomplishments for whatever reason.

Dh will list the things he’s down whilst parenting while I’ve been out . I usually opt for a slow clap.

recently he kept bringing up the fact that he had had to walk the dog whilst he had DS like it was some unheard of phenomenon. I asked what he thought happened when he was at work.

it does irritate me but it’s not a deal breaker

Is this another of those weird "let's all bond by sharing our contempt for the men we married" threads?

One of the points of being in a healthy relationship, to me, is to have someone validating and supporting you. Even if the thing you're proud of isn't exactly discovering a cure for cancer. I message DP when I win one of my league tennis matches and I tell him when I beat my personal best running times. And he says well done. I say the same to him when he cooks a brilliant dinner or gets his plants to grow.

Yes sometimes the "well done dear" is a bit autopilot but I'm never actually annoyed that someone I love is proud of something they've done well.

i mean he's my ExH for a reason... but pretty much everything. I was expected to thank him for doing any household chore.. cooking, laundry, washing up, picking up after the kids.

No, i didn't get any when i did any of it.

Yes, and I agree it’s lovely (and essential) to give and receive praise where it’s due for ‘extra’ achievements and but what I find frustrating is the constant seeking of praise for everyday occurrences and minor household tasks. I’m not confrontational and don’t want to hurt feelings but I don’t think it should be necessary to always be applauding for the stuff that women tend to be expected to carry out without fanfare.

My XH used to want praise for doing the really basic shit —that I managed without expecting a round of applause— my stock reply was, I’ll alert the media dear.

My husband will say he spent 3 hours cleaning the house from top to bottom but what he means is he washed up, watched a Christmas film on Sky (don’t ask) and then rinsed it all.

mine wants praise for everything..i ignore him

I’m not the only slow clapper for basic household chores bragging then 🤣
counterproductive I know, but I just can’t stop myself. Sometimes I make seal noises while clapping my “flippers”. I’m my own worst enemy 🙄

Oh dear. No it don't deal with that at all. DH never lists off the things he has done and inturm that makes me want to praise him and he doesn't boast or gloat he just gets on with it. I couldn't imagine having a husband who had and needed validation.
Both grown ups we both know it is tough and we both pull our weight without needing praise.

DH is always likes a bit of praise if he washes up ....

However i like a bit of praise for mowing the lawn so we're both as bad as each other 🤣