Mothers chihuahua ate half of my babies grape

[Anonymous23458d]

Just as the title states.. I took my boys 1 and 3 years old to my mothers. She never makes the effort to visit us i see her every other week. She lives with my two other older siblings and my dad. Last year they've bought another chihuahua that is just crazy. They don't train it it bites my children and now my baby is crawling it bites his face and is vicious, it steals food and items and growls when I try and get them. They don't do anything to help just idolise this dog. They have about a 2 metre crate for it, which I have to put it in when it gets vicious with my children.
I went because my eldest loves my older sister who lives there and loves seeing her. I was feeding my one year old downstairs whilst the dog was upstairs. I didn't realise the dog ran down and at the same time my baby threw one half of a grape then another one and the dog ran and ate them up. My sister and mum started screaming and rang the vet who said they must rush her down. All the while so hostile and angry at me when I said I didn't realise and im sorry. I know dogs cant eat grapes but I have a baby and toddler and thought the dog was upstairs. It's hard to manage in basically a glass house with so many ornaments and crap everywhere. It's the opposite of baby proof which I don't expect it to be but she doesn't even help me one bit when I come round. My mum only has interest in her new dog not her grandchildren. She has now sent me the receipt for £105 she's had to pay to make the dog be sick at the vets. I am not paying it and for one don't have that money. AiBu?

The dog has nipped my eldest and now my baby on his cheek and for that I'll never allow it near them after that I always put it in the crate...

If it was in the crate.. how did the dog run downstairs. And this is only one of their dogs?

They have now had two bites..

Have you decided not to take them there again?

This is a totally unfathomable situation - you should not have been allowing your children round her aggressive Chihuahua at all, and she should damn well train it. They are intelligent little dogs, known to be feisty. I have worked in canine welfare professionally and I shall try and find/add a photo of a facial injury from a two second encounter with one of the (small) pugs I once fostered. Flat faced, small, so often 'babiefied' - which caused a lot of the problems we saw with little dogs, and this is was the result of me picking up a biro she was 'resource guarding'. I didn't even touch her. Another nearly took my hand off - my stupidity as I shouldn't have put my hand out to offer comfort as I didn't know the full background, but you live and learn. Your child could lose an eye with a chihuahua as they have much sharper snouts. In contrast to your parents, mine made sure every window had a childproof lock on it, and that any sharp furniture edges were safe, etc.. as they really loved their grandchildren. I know we can't choose out parents, but yours have their priorities all wrong - and are failures as dog owners, too.

Thanks! Yes that would very much account for me logging back in and out holding old dusty socks on my hands that hopefully impersonate a number of fictional characters…..I generally find it super time consuming to just be me 😭

Op this sounds like such a toxic environment and frankly dangerous for your children. Yes the 3 year old might love your sister but he doesn’t at all understand the toxicity and strange codependency between your mum, sister and a dog by the sounds of it!
Id cut contact. The 3 year old will forget. Just say nanny and auntie are sick and we can’t visit now. In the long run this sounds by far the best option.

Why do you take them to there if they bite your children

Don’t pay it. It sounds like she’s one of those all too common owners of small dogs who thinks, because they can just pick their dog up they don’t actually need to train it.

don’t pay, what an awful grandmother

Sounds like your mum and sister aren’t the only ones with a toxic co-dependent relationship. And your older sister isn’t a mum, good or otherwise, especially if she won’t visit you in your own home.

Just don’t go there any more and tell your DD that it’s not safe.

Wow! 😮 I have a pug and I thought their jaws were built in a way that couldn't really cause serious injury, aside from the fact that they are one of the most people-loving breeds and were bred to sit on laps. I'm really shocked a pug did this! 😮

No worries.

Speaking of socks, that would be another thing I’d be watching out for with thie OP’s mother’s untrained Chihuahua. Instead of training it properly, the OP’s mother should just start insisting, “don’t leave anything or drop anything on the floor with the dog around in case it decides to eat it.” Plus start compiling a list of things to never bring into the house in case the dog comes into contact with them. Much easier than taking time to train the dog or supervise it! Pretty soon they’d have such a long list of things to not bring to that house in case the dog could eat it, it’d be easier for all the humans to leave the house for the dog to live in alone.

If your baby got sick from eating some dog food they left around, would they be expected to pay the medical bills? Then that's your answer.

I can't get past that you take your small children somewhere where you know they are likely to get bitten by a dog (small or not). Your job is to keep your children safe, you can't knowingly put them in danger regardless of whether your mum or sister visit you.

@inertia the grapes were cut up. It was half a grape length ways.

Presumably they know that a dog can do a huge amount of damage to a child, and that they are legally responsible for any harm the dog does.

It’s not clear whether they care about the grand children, but it sounds as though they would care if the dog had to be put down.

Your mum and sister are unreasonable generally of course, but yes YABU to feed a toddler grapes when there's a dog in the house that you know takes food and isn't trained to drop something when told no.
It is their fault that the dog is a cunt, but you could still have eniltirely avoided this situation by packing different snacks.

Oh, and YABU for taking young children around said cunt of a dog too!

I read it as ‘chinchilla’ for some reason 🫣😂

FGS. They're an incredibly misunderstood and often mistreated breed. First of all many of them have been irresponsibly bred to be in pain and not able to breathe or smell properly. Then they get bought by people like the OP's mum who don't treat them like dogs, and small dogs at that.

If you look at the world from a chihuahua's point of view, EVERYBODY is a giant compared to you, and that's often TERRIFYING, particularly when you haven't been socialised and introduced to things properly. Children and babies are often scary to any dog (and particularly small dogs) because not only are they the "wrong" size for humans they don't behave like all of the other humans, and they don't listen to your body language at all. Add in that chihuahuas are often not allowed to exhibit normal dog behaviour, not trained, and treated as if they have zero bodily autonomy; you'd be grumpy too. When being quite clearly terrified doesn't work, they resort to defensive aggression, which is how they get their reputation for being "dickhead dogs". They're usually not, they've just been genetically and mentally fucked up by humans.

I wouldn't be going there again. If they want to see you, they can make the effort, without the dog.

@AcquadiP
The dog does bite yes. It nips all the time. It has since they got it and has drew blood on myself before and all the family that live there. It has nipped my baby on the face recently and left no mark I should've made that clearer but I didn't know biting meant piercing the skin, which it didn't that time thank God. Since then when baby is cruising or playing with his toy on the carpet, I always put the dog in the crate. This particular incident happened when the dog was upstairs with my mother whilst she was getting ready and I was feeding him in his high chair.
I think the dog is vicious. I had a previous chihuahua and it was never like that it can be playful with my eldest sometimes but I won't take that chance now. It clearly has so much energy but they don't take it out or even rarely let it go in the garden. It's when it gets something in it's mouth it's vicious or if it thinks you're playing it can sometimes really sink it's teeth in. They won't train it, the issue is never with them or their dog it seems.

To be fair, I've seen some of the smaller ones - about the size of a mini bag of sugar and probably not much heavier. Half a grape is probably the equivalent dose of half a punnet and a bottle of Merlot to a Labrador.

Simple solution for the OP is to not pay the bill and not go there again. Stops the kids associating the Auntie with being bitten in the face and Nanny and Auntie running around screaming - and no need for any potential accusations of trying to poison the dog that way, too.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable!

‘All here’? You really can’t speak for yourself can you, you have to bring other people and all those reactions you’ve received, into your responses. Hope you can find some confidence soon, you sad little man (it’s pretty obvious).

Sorry clicked the wrong vote by accident I don’t think you are unreasonable

I know you want to visit your family and it sucks when family don't act how you want them to but you need to take responsibility for your children's safety now! Even at the cost of your family relationships. I had to do something similar when my first child became mobile and it was no longer safe for us to visit a relative. We now only meet at mine very infrequently. I sometimes pine for a different situation when I see friends go back to their parents and get lovely welcomes and TLC but every family is different and I know I've kept my child safe ultimately. I'm not saying this to be harsh but you need to review your boundaries even if it means you never see your sister