Mothers chihuahua ate half of my babies grape

[Anonymous23458d]

Just as the title states.. I took my boys 1 and 3 years old to my mothers. She never makes the effort to visit us i see her every other week. She lives with my two other older siblings and my dad. Last year they've bought another chihuahua that is just crazy. They don't train it it bites my children and now my baby is crawling it bites his face and is vicious, it steals food and items and growls when I try and get them. They don't do anything to help just idolise this dog. They have about a 2 metre crate for it, which I have to put it in when it gets vicious with my children.
I went because my eldest loves my older sister who lives there and loves seeing her. I was feeding my one year old downstairs whilst the dog was upstairs. I didn't realise the dog ran down and at the same time my baby threw one half of a grape then another one and the dog ran and ate them up. My sister and mum started screaming and rang the vet who said they must rush her down. All the while so hostile and angry at me when I said I didn't realise and im sorry. I know dogs cant eat grapes but I have a baby and toddler and thought the dog was upstairs. It's hard to manage in basically a glass house with so many ornaments and crap everywhere. It's the opposite of baby proof which I don't expect it to be but she doesn't even help me one bit when I come round. My mum only has interest in her new dog not her grandchildren. She has now sent me the receipt for £105 she's had to pay to make the dog be sick at the vets. I am not paying it and for one don't have that money. AiBu?

No, if they care about their dog, it's absolutely on the dog owners to keep the dog away from the baby, having invited the baby into the house.

The consequences for the dog if it attacks the baby are likely to be far worse than eating half a grape.

I’d pay it in full and never go there again.

The problem is that you can't rely on them to ensure that the dog stays in the crate.

The house is not safe.

Not quite but interesting interpretation

Invoice her £200 for the grape

seriously tho, tell your mum to sod off. You are also enabling her in your own way, and your sister. It’s hard but you need to do this as this situation is insane

Don't take your children to your mother's unless the dogs will be crated the whole time.
If you do go there again perhaps you could not take grapes or raisins.
Don't contribute to the vet bill.

No don’t pay the vet bill. If her dog was correctly trained or being supervised it wouldn’t have happened. Your baby could drop a million grapes around my dog and she wouldn’t touch them unless I told her she could (which obviously I wouldn’t). If she hadn’t reached that rate of training then she would be very closely supervised.

Babies drop food - we all know that. The dog was upstairs to the best of your knowledge. Who let her downstairs? Surely they are just as much to blame.

As for not letting the poor thing out of the house - that is just cruel. A young healthy dog has no need to be restricted to a house. Especially if she isn’t trained and therefore isn’t even being mentally stimulated with any training.

An untrained dog is an unhappy dog. Her behaviours will only get worse and worse as she gets older, more unruly and ultimately bored out of her brain. She will find things to occupy her time - likely to be destructive, and is much more likely to end up as a reactive time bomb.

Do not take your children back there. Don’t pander to your older sister who can’t cut the apron strings and is happy to risk the safety of your child rather than make the effort to visit you on her own.

YABVU...to take your children to a house with a dog who bites them.

Why on earth do you keep going there?
It's not safe for your baby. The dogs are poorly trained and dangerous.
The grape thing is ridiculous.
Do not pay the vet bill.
Do not go there again.
Your sister and your mother can visit you at your home where there are no dogs and it's safe for a baby.
If they don't come and visit you it shows you how much they care.

I saw your since deleted post. It was an attempt to bring a bit of levity to the thread. I think it’s a stretch to say you had proposed killing the dog.

If they got the dog last year it's just a puppy and I doubt bit viciously however no way id have amy baby around a nippy puppy! Tell them to crate the dog as soon as you go in or you do it.

That said, you shouldn't have been feeding your baby grapes around a dog. They're dangerous. I think you should pay the bet bill or at least offer to go halves.

Quite.

You shouldn’t have to pay the bill, but you are unreasonable to take your children to a house where the dogs aren’t kept separate and that you know bite your children. Your mums is unreasonable also for not keeping her dogs separate. You all sound irresponsible, but you’re the parent so ultimately it’s for you to protect your children.

There is no way I’d be taking my kids to that house with those untrained animals. What are you thinking OP? Seriously??
if your eldest wants to see your sister tell her to go to your house.
it’s not safe there for them. I wouldn’t be putting my kids in danger like that. Sorry but your mum doesn’t sound interested in your babies, so you need to keep them safe

Suggesting that they put grapes through the front door, where a dog can access them, eat them and die is such hilarity? Almost as funny as a baby having their face bitten 🙄.

Well that was the intention- but it is mumsnet so I am largely unsurprised they went straight to intentional dog murder.

Half the post is irrelevant in the incident you are asking advise on. It doesn't matter whether the dog is a pain or not, you chose to go there knowing what he is like. Would you be offering to pay if the dog was well behaved?

Knowing he has free roam of the house, you should not have got the grapes out and give to a toddler who can't be trusted to be careful.
My dog would never harm a child and is perfectly loving, but I would not allow a toddler to sit there and eat food toxic to my dog in his home, as there is of them being dropped

You are being unreasonable as your child did not need to eat grapes during the visit, you put the dog at risk, so you should pay. Doesn't matter the temperament of the dog. It is the dogs home and he should not be put at risk.

On a separate note, if you know what the dog is like then you should not put your child at risk going there either

Well your post was deleted….

Exactly. As I’d put in my post, the OP’s mother not training the dog or taking it out for walks is where a lot of these problems begin and end. The OP mentioned the dog being reactive when she tried to take something away from it in the past. Probably another example in a list that the OP’s mother has chosen to do sweet FA about. It’s reasonable to conclude the OP’s mother did naff all in response to her dog biting the grandchildren.

Who let the dog go downstairs is a very valid question. It sounds like nobody was supervising the dog or keeping it under control. It certainly wasn’t the OP’s job.

As far as I’m concerned the OP’s mother (the dog’s owner) is to blame. Clearly didn’t ensure the dog was being kept under control/properly supervised. If she had been training the dog, they might have trained it to not eat random stuff on the floor by this point. They could have at least been working on the resource guarding issues i.e. stopping the dog from being reactive when somebody tries to take something from it. It should be pretty bloody obvious to the OP’s mother by now why this does need to be addressed: might be handy if anyone can take something from this dog in future without the worry of the dog attacking.

Frankly you should not be visiting them at all after the dog bit your child. And to do so is irresponsible. Your child will find other people to 'adore'. I would not go back.

This!!

Yes I wonder who could have got the wrong end of the stick and reported it………Many apologies if it offended you- I’d happily send over an apology fruit basket. Light on the grapes of course.

Umm I'd be saying no take it as the price for your dog biting my baby in the face.
Wtaf op.. How are you still going there when their pet is literally biting your kids and they are putting their dog above your kids??
You need to put your kids first and stop going there.

I wish I was as edgy and dark as you.

I'm not sure I agree with your comment that your mum is a 'proper mum' to your older sister - it sounds as though she is trapped if they do everything together and your sister is still living at home at that age. Is your sister happy with her life do you think? I'd say you were the lucky one to get away and to have your own life.

I really feel for you being in this situation - it sounds as though you put in all the effort, despite having two young kids to care for, and your mum gives you nothing in terms of physical or emotional support. You don't deserve to pay any of that vet's bill - it's 100% on your mum. I have no practical advice, but I do think YANBU and I hope you are able to get to a position where you can see your sister without having to tolerate your toxic mother.