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Original poster

I've paid over £95,000 in rent in the last 7 years but don't qualify for any help to buy schemes

26 replies

CreativeCrochet · 19/08/2025 14:19

I've just worked out I've paid over £95,000 out in rent over the last 7 years, with nothing to show for it and it's made me sick to my stomach.

I left my abusive marriage and have rented on my own as a single parent to a child with Special Needs ever since. I've paid £1100 a month in rent for most of that time, £1400 for the last year and I haven't been able to save anything for a deposit. I was also in bad credit for 6 years of that after taking out on IVA.

Now I'm clear of that, I'd love to be able to get back on the housing ladder, but I am unable to save for a deposit, despite earning good money. I was previously a house owner but sold that whilst I was married, so now I don't qualify for any of the Help to Buy schemes as I'm not a First Time Buyer. It feels awful that I can't make the most of my good job due to the circumstances I find myself in.

Every which way I turn I just seem to not meet criteria. It's so depressing.

Am I missing something really obvious I should be doing? I feel so trapped, in my job, in rented accommodation and add in that my child's father is leaving the country permanently to be with his Thai wife, and will be dropping Child Maintenance no doubt and the small amount of childcare he does. Life has really kicked me when I'm down and I'd love to put that money to better use towards my own home.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Original poster
CreativeCrochet · 19/08/2025 14:27

Oh that's not one I've seen I don't think, and it says this "You may also be eligible for Rent to Buy if you are returning to home ownership following a relationship breakdown."
Thank you, I'll check it out

Just looked - it's Shared Ownership - for various reasons it won't work for me sadly

OP posts:
ChocolatePodge · 19/08/2025 14:29

Rent is sickening isn't it 🙈 have you looked at Skipton's 0% mortgage for renters? I have heard not many have actually been approved but they also accept a little as 5% deposit which may give you hope?

I was in a really similar situation to you, I didn't think I'd ever be able to own on my own. It did take moving north to find somewhere affordable I could get a mortgage for but I'm so happy to finally not to be paying someone else's mortgage for them.

FatherFrosty · 19/08/2025 14:31

I hear you Flowers
£300,000 down for us so far.

we’ve got a sizeable deposit. It’s the loan to wage but we done qualify for. We are completely tied to our area which doesn’t help, and anywhere even vaguely commutable isn’t any cheaper.

all I can say is you never know what the future holds.

DaisyChain505 · 19/08/2025 14:42

Why wouldn’t shared ownership work for you?

It’s literally there to help people who otherwise wouldn’t be able to get on the property ladder?

I was only able to purchase my house as a single woman due to the part buy part rent scheme and now I’m married we purchased the whole 100% of the property.

What happened to the money from your previous house you sold and is there any way of negotiating a payment lump sum from your ex if he’s planning on leaving the country.

Original poster
CreativeCrochet · 19/08/2025 14:43

ChocolatePodge · 19/08/2025 14:29

Rent is sickening isn't it 🙈 have you looked at Skipton's 0% mortgage for renters? I have heard not many have actually been approved but they also accept a little as 5% deposit which may give you hope?

I was in a really similar situation to you, I didn't think I'd ever be able to own on my own. It did take moving north to find somewhere affordable I could get a mortgage for but I'm so happy to finally not to be paying someone else's mortgage for them.

I got very excited about this a few months ago - one phone call was all it took to dispel that. I live in the South East of England and the way they calculate it, I wouldn't be able to borrow enough to buy a shoe box, never mind a house!

OP posts:
ThatCyanSheep · 19/08/2025 14:43

Absolutely sickening. People wonder why I’m still at home at age 26, but it’s because of things like this.

RimTimTagiDim · 19/08/2025 14:47

Give up takeaway coffee and avocado toast and you'll have a £40,000 deposit in no time. /s

The rental trap is bloody awful. I started earning good money in my mid 20s and it took almost a decade to save up a decent deposit when I was forking out £1300 in rent each month. My only tip is to open a LISA and use it - my contributions were matched 25% by the government and I assume it's still the same. It was free money.

C0ffeeguru · 19/08/2025 14:54

Has your divorce completed ?
Did you receive any money from your ex from property, savings, pensions ?

Can you buy with another single mum friend or family ?

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 16:36

RimTimTagiDim · 19/08/2025 14:47

Give up takeaway coffee and avocado toast and you'll have a £40,000 deposit in no time. /s

The rental trap is bloody awful. I started earning good money in my mid 20s and it took almost a decade to save up a decent deposit when I was forking out £1300 in rent each month. My only tip is to open a LISA and use it - my contributions were matched 25% by the government and I assume it's still the same. It was free money.

Oh god. There’s always one.

SUPerSaver721 · 19/08/2025 16:41

I think she was being sarcastic about the avocado on toast.

TaupeMember · 19/08/2025 16:42

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 16:36

Oh god. There’s always one.

Show quote history

I think you misread this, the first part was sarcasm

Clockchair · 19/08/2025 16:42

Is it not possible to move areas? You'll get a lot more for your money further north.

DeedlessIndeed · 19/08/2025 16:50

That's awful. We moved the other end of the country. It's so tough with lack of family support and having to start from scratch, but that is the choice we made to get on the ladder. There are no easy choices :(

Plastictreees · 19/08/2025 17:09

No advice but sending solidarity- I rented for years and it was bad then but it’s utterly ridiculous now. I hope you can find a way forward.

Espressosummer · 19/08/2025 17:11

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 16:36

Oh god. There’s always one.

Show quote history

One who jumps on a poster as a result of not understanding a very simple post. This time it's you.

soupyspoon · 19/08/2025 17:14

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 19/08/2025 16:36

Oh god. There’s always one.

Show quote history

Its very clearly a joke

OP, what is your overall income and are you able to say your whereabouts?

And although virtually impossible, are you on the housing list?

Darragon · 19/08/2025 17:17

@RimTimTagiDim your comment made me snort my coffee. From a fellow Baby Lasagna aficionado.

Darragon · 19/08/2025 17:18

OP have you considered going in the other direction and getting yourself on the lists for the housing associations near you? It will at least make your rent less unaffordable if you get something, which might enable you to save for a house.

PepperToo · 19/08/2025 17:57

TaupeMember · 19/08/2025 16:42

I think you misread this, the first part was sarcasm

Show quote history

Exactly - that's what "/s" means. It's a reference to when you had to put your own formatting tags on when posting text, and some chat facilities let you use bespoke ones. <s> and </s> means the bit in tags is intended with sarcasm.

Unless you are desperate to think poorly of people, it was blindingly obvious from the post that that bit wasn't meant sincerely.

Original poster
CreativeCrochet · 20/08/2025 10:16

Thank you for all the replies.

Sadly I left my divorce with no assets and over £50k in debt, hence the IVA. So no money or assets to use there.
I'm too old for the LISA and always have been since they introduced it I think
Housing lists - I went down that route last summer, to no avail. You have to literally make yourself homeless before you can go o nthe list. As I have a child with Special Needs, this is not an option.
I will explore the shared ownership/rent to buy schemes again
Moving North isn't an option for now, the drop in my salary alone would negate the benefit of moving.

I work in London and live in mid Essex, getting schooling for my son after the move last summer was a nightmare, I can't go through that again, it's still not sorted from the last move.

At least I think I'm not missing anything too obvious from all the replies. I wish I did have a coffee and avocado toast habit to give up, then I might save some money that way 😂

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 20/08/2025 10:42

Don’t write off the part buy part rent scheme. It seems like one of your few options and it’s not a bad one.

Littleredgoat · 20/08/2025 10:47

CreativeCrochet · 19/08/2025 14:43

I got very excited about this a few months ago - one phone call was all it took to dispel that. I live in the South East of England and the way they calculate it, I wouldn't be able to borrow enough to buy a shoe box, never mind a house!

Edited
Show quote history

If theres just the two of you do you need a house? I know you want a house, but as you correctly identify it is a housing ladder and you are starting again. Can you reconcile yourself to a backwards step in terms of size and property type to get a foothold again and then start building up to the kind of property you'd eventually like?

beachwalkx · 20/08/2025 10:50

If you’ve not spoken to them, try simply adverse brokers. If anyone could get you a mortgage it will be them, they are fantastic and I’m using them again next year to remortgage
it might be a no but it’s worth a call