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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I have said something?

3 replies

Pluto356 · 19/08/2025 07:38

I want people’s opinions on whether I did the wrong or right thing.

I was getting the train into our local town today and a man, woman and 2 kids (2ish and 4ish) got on. The two kids were immediately given phones to watch videos on and the dad spent the WHOLE journey putting them and the mum down. Telling the kids to shut up, ignoring them and shouting at them. He was saying to his partner that he “hates women who milk being pregnant” and he’ll always say “you’re not Ill you’re pregnant.” She said “oh I don’t think I did” and he was like “well yeah I had to tell you off a few times to grow up and stop milking it.” He was just so negative towards the partner and children, saying derogatory things towards them both. I would hate to see how he acts at home, if he acts like that in public.

When we got off, she took the youngest child one way and he went to a shop with the other. I said to her that she deserved better than the way he spoke to her and the kids and that being pregnant can be really hard! She just kind of laughed it off but then told him as soon as she saw him. He was not happy to say the least and I ended up feeling really uncomfortable waiting for my friend so I waited in a nearby shop. I had my child with me although they were asleep and now I’m half regretting it because I think he could have kicked off! But I also think I wish someone had told me when I was in a horrible relationship that I deserved better.

Sorry it’s a long one but just wanted advice as I’m having proper mixed feelings about it.

You are being unreasonable - shouldn’t have said anything
you are not being unreasonable - you did the right thing!

OP posts:
Twistedfirestarters · 19/08/2025 07:40

I think you were right to say something. You did the right thing by saying it away from him too. You never know, it might be the spark that starts her realising she deserves better. I have a friend who finally left a horrible relationship when someone left a note on her car after seeing how she was being treated.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 19/08/2025 07:41

I think you were very brave to say something. Even though she appeared to dismiss what you said, it might give her food for thought at some point.

Zanatdy · 19/08/2025 07:45

I’d have said something too, right or wrong I wouldn’t have been able to totally ignore that. Poor kids. Poor woman. Hopefully one day she leaves his ass.

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