AIBU to not let my husband drive with our baby again?

[cosmicsunshine]

My husband has ASD (we recently found out he was diagnosed as a child but had both suspected) and has problems with anger usually small everyday annoyances - petty things around the house such as things being put away in the wrong places, neighbours making too much noise or parking. After a difficult few months in our relationship, i have asked him in multiple occasions to seek help from the GP or a counsellor for over the past 6 months and he has not done this. If I try and talk about it he says he doesn't want to talk about it.

anyway, this past weekend my husband had road rage and made a terrible and impulsive driving error which caused me, him and my baby son to be in a car accident leaving the vehicle a total write off. Everyone was unharmed thankfully but I am unsure how to deal with this going forwards.

am I within my rights to forbid my husband from driving our son again until he has sought help for his anger? Would I be unreasonable to even say I don't want him to be left alone with him at all?

I know he is a good person and he didn't intentionally put any of us in danger, but I feel enough is enough?

Hell would freeze over before he drove me or my baby again!

If you divorce him, your child absolutely will be travelling in the car on his own with this man
That’s why most people stay once the tinted glasses are off

My DH has ASD and can sometimes struggle to regulate his emotions (as can many people tbh, I'm certainly not always absolutely calm). But he's not an areshole. And if his anger ever put my child in danger like this I would never get in a car with him again and I'd strongly be considering ending the marriage.

As much as the event itself, it's his total inability to see that he needs help with emotional regulation that would be tipping me over the edge. Without that, your situation is not going b to improve.

I don't think it's "lucky" that the other party chose not to prosecute, at all. Not for anybody else on the road and particularly not for you or your baby. If you veto him taking the child in the car on his own, at least the only person he can kill is himself (leaving aside, of course, all the other people in cars who share a road with him). OP, for goodness sake wake up. He gets away with his tantrums because you let him and don't really seem to care what effect it could have on your child. Death is pretty final. You're a parent; sort it out.

A LITTLE remorseful?? You need to get your baby away from this man. What does he think about his constant anger, does he think that its good for a child to grow up learning to walk on eggshells or thats an appropriate way to deal with small annoyances?

Well it’s not just about DC is it? Surely you can’t ever get in a car with him again either?

Do you really want to stay with someone who had such dangerous anger issues?

my dad did this with my mum when i was an infant. his reckless and angry actions left her with whiplash which has ongoing effcts to this day.

Leave- it won't get better and his ASD is just giving him and excuse for his shitty behaviour.

I absolutely hate men like this. What if it was
me and my kids in our (tiny) car on the road and he kills/injures us because he’s ’angry.’ I wish the other driver would prosecute and get pathetic men like this off the road.

Does he work? If he works - does ge have these anger outbursts at work with boss or clients? No?
Then he CAN control his anger, he just doesnt when its involving his children aka Arsehole.

YANBU to not have him drive the kids.

How the heck did he write the car off?

My ex h has the worst road rage. He'd chase other cars down the middle of a road (where the white stripes are) and square up to them. All with two small kids in the back. He'd shout crazy abuse at other drivers calling them fucking cunts all with the kids looking on, giggling, saying 'Daddys got anger issues'.

Once he bit off more than he could chew and had to hide in an estate and get me to collect them.

Fucking psycho

Sadly I can't stop him still driving them when he has them.

I would tell your dh that unless he gets appropriate help with his anger issues you will be asking the other driver to prosecute.

Might be worth reporting him to the DVLA as medically unfit

Facts are that certainly ADHD affects focus and distraction & ASD affects emotions. Being both, I recently took the advanced driving test. I suggest both of you do it, as it helps you share a common best driving vocab and practice. It’s not easy to pass - both of us failed first time, it’s run by ex police and other volunteers. It’s usually very reasonable cost wise. In Guildford it was £145 for years driving (1session of 75mins a month) and the test. If you’re not up for this, have a strong think why. We found it very helpful, to protect our children and grandchildren. Who wouldn’t want to be safer in the road?