Can’t take the heat , get out the Kitchen ?

[icantfindmyphone]

so i’ve started a new job as a commis chef in a small kitchen, minimum wage, 3 days a week .
Im 48 and an empty nester, looking for something to fill my time . I love kitchen work and have worked in kitchens previously. All going well , week 4 and i’m enjoying it , but yesterday it got very busy and I made a mistake and bought a dish up on the wrong ticket / too early . Chef ripped me a new one ! He bellowed & swore very loudly at me .
It was chaotic & I didn’t react just threw it away and prepared a new dish . He snapped at me for the rest of service then disappeared whilst me and other cleaned and shut down.
I didn’t realise how shaken i was til i got home and had a good cry . tbh it was an overreaction and unpleasant. I get he was stressed and i see my mistake.
i didn’t sleep well and wasn’t feeling great when i went in today . He was a bit sweary today but not at me. tbh i would have liked an apology. Aibu ? I feel as a pair of adults there should be mutual respect. I don’t expect to be shouted at . I could forgive it as a heat/stress with an apology. am i being precious or is this normal / Ramsays kitchen nightmares moment .? Tbh i don’t need the job so kinda thinking he can go fxxk himself, so looking for some perspective. Thanks 🙏🏻

Chefs are notorious arseholes. This wouldn't be uncommon treatment in pretty much any kitchen, to be honest. He's not gonna apologize, ever, though he absolutely should, and the next time someone fucks up he'll do the exact same thing.

He can go fk himself !

As you say if you can’t take the heat stay out the kitchen. Toughen up and don’t make mistakes and don’t expect apologies but also do t take it personally. It’s a lesson. If you want a more relaxed kitchen experience go work in a cafe or school.

My sole expertise having been: watching the bear, I think this is pretty normal, op 🥺 x

I also work as a chef in a busy kitchen, currently on mat leave.

We have a general rule that whatever is said during service shouldn't be taken seriously. We often do 180 covers on top of a busy afternoon tea during a 3 hour service, so things can get a little frantic. However that rule was discussed early doors of the job, and 99% of the time everyone is lovely with each other.

I would say if the bad mood and mistreatment is happening most of the time, I would raise it as an issue. But if it's just an angry in-service moment every now and again, I would let it slide.

What a mean reply

In no way is it mean. It’s reality. It’s factual. Honestly some people on MN live in this “be kind” bubble and have no clue how the world
works.
It’s his kitchen, he’s in charge. He doesn’t have to apologise to anyone. That’s how a kitchen is run. This is OPs chance to prove herself that she is up to the job. Sink or swim time.

I have a family member who is a top chef in NZ.

He used to be the quintessential arsehole head chef. One day, at the end of service, someone said, 'you know everyone hates you, right?'

Cue much heartsearching and reflection. Suffice it to say, it's been a long, long time since he's been like that.

I'm a bit of a delicate petal when it comes to shouting etc, and it warms the cockles of me heart when he's so careful not to trigger me when I'm kitchen handing for the family Christmas.

I'm guessing your chef hasn't had that lightbulb moment yet. Some seem to think it's the only way in the kitchen.