Opinions on partner moving in quickly after meeting child

[OneTealSeal]

I’m looking for some impartial opinions on this please

My ex-partner (and mother of my 7-year-old son) has been in a new relationship for about 6 months. She introduced him to our son around 6 weeks ago, and within another 2 weeks her partner moved in. From what I understand, he was recently divorced and had been living with his family before this. A former partner moved out about 8 months ago who had lived with them for 3 years, which my son was upset about.

I’ve spoken with my son about it, and he says he’s happy and that he likes the new partner. While I’m glad he feels positive, I also know that at 7 he might not fully understand or be able to express if the pace feels too fast for him.

I personally think a gradual introduction over 6+ months would have been a healthier approach. I realise everyone approaches relationships differently, but I struggle to understand moving this quickly when children are involved.

I agree. And to be honest it’s worse if they’re teenagers.

Personally I think we get one shot at “playing happy families” and that children in general shouldn’t be living with non-related adults (I don’t mean where children are adopted by their families, as that is being related). But I also know this is an unpopular opinion.

I say this as a single mum to a very young child myself YANBU. Why does he need to live with them? It's also far too soon, but I don't understand what the rush is for cohabitation, especially when she recently got out a serious cohabiting relation where your son formed a bond with another man he will never see again.

I'm not sure what to suggest as there isn't much you can do in this situation other than be there for your son and keep an eye on things. I am personally terrified of letting men into my house anywhere near my DD, maybe I'm being dramatic but no matter how nice someone seems you don't know what nastiness could be hiding beneath. If she wants a relationship then that's fine, but why does this man have to move in??