Screenshot from Hinge - WTF

[HugoSpritzzz]

Hi everyone.
TW: this will contain highly offensive language and racism and homophobia.

so I'm dipping my toe back into online dating. Matched with a guy who seemed handsome and his description said he had a dark humour which is something I'd like to think I have too. I recently did a thread of 'dating nightmares' under a different username but hadn't included this as this only happened today!

so, we match, he says he has dark humour and that he needs to establish a 'safe zone.' I ask him to elaborate what he meant in regards to this.

this... this is what unfolded.

message after message after message about immigrants, gays, violence.
he screams abuser, someone that would beat a woman up if she denied sex. I screenshotted, unmatched immediately and reported to hinge.

AIBU to think this is fucking horrendous? Why is the world going this way? I'm sad to say, this isn't the first time I've had the 'safe zone' talk said to me on online dating. But never ever like this.

I wouldn't view myself as particularly 'woke' but my jaw hit the floor with this and it made me sick to my stomach.

I guess my AIBU is - to Jack on dating once and for all? Where are all the nice guys? I'm 31, newly divorced after a long separation and would prefer to be single forever!
posting screenshots waiting for them to be authorised.
I didn't even bother replying as someone like that would never change their ways and I think no matter what I said back I'd get a barrage of abuse. I feel like I need to do more than this but I have no idea what. As said I have reported to hinge and screenshotted everything.

‘Dark humour’

Thank goodness he told you exactly who he was straight from the off.

Agree he sounds very unhinged!

Can the posters who said I was being unreasonable explain how so?

and yes as PP said I am on a 'am I dating the same guy' page. Only on it for the laughs and never post. I'll post this though!

Carl... Winchester, age 31 according to his profile.

Don't worry about the two people who voted YANBU - it's probably Carl on his laptop as well as his phone.

@HugoSpritzzz Well done for reporting him though as not everyone would take the time to.

I have given up on OLD 10 years ago and am just not putting myself and my mental health through the nonsense on there. I felt it would take months of pain to come across that one decent guy who messages you first but after a couple of messages would get flakey, start taking longer and longer to reply until they mysteriously disappear altogether - and this was such a regular thing it made me wonder if some men just ‘vanity date’ as it were and do already have SOs but just want to see if they’ve maybe still ‘got it’ or some such 😑

What's worse this is the time where they are supposed to be showing their best selves!! How they think this is even acceptable to say is beyond me.

Sounds not dissimilar to the deluge of hate and ignorance expressed to me this weekend when I encountered my friend's boyfriend's 'mates' for the first time at a festival.

Their town is apparently overrun with stinky Pakis and stabby blacks. I pointed
out that my family are Polish immigrants...they've no problem with this because
I'm the 'right colour'. And oh, they reckon they're not racists!

It goes on…two of them tried to hit on me (one grabbed my breasts and wanted to know whether I spit or swallowed) the other one repeatedly propositioned me for sex, despite me making it abundantly clear I was happily married and seriously unimpressed. Their wives don’t go out partying because they’re at home, looking after the children ‘where they belong’ and it’s my fault they couldn’t leave me alone because I’m ‘too sexy. and ‘asking for it’ - I was dressed neck to ankle in black, wearing trainers and minimal makeup, not that it should matter.

Ugh. I’ve never been so relieved to return home back to my loving husband and daughter. The last time I was single, dating apps didn’t even exist but these men walk among us - searching and taken, online and offline.

WTF indeed. I’m sorry you had such a vile experience, OP.

The sad thing is, some insecure female with low standards will accept this guy and enable his moronic opinions.

That is absolutely disgusting. I am so so sorry you went through that. What awful awful people and your friend and her boyfriend should have stuck up for you and put a stop to it. They sexually assaulted you and were incredibly racist. I would seriously question my friendship with the friend if she enables this behaviour.

you must've felt so uncomfortable. I'm just going to say it as a collective, I hate men at the moment. I know NAMALT but i have countless experiences with gross men, from my experience MOST men are grim and there's a select few that aren't. Perhaps it's a sad view but the men only have themselves to blame at this point. Not enough good men stand up for women. A tiny amount do, but nowhere b near enough. And they're moaning about a male loneliness epidemic. Pulease..

i hope you're okay ❤️

I would be seriously side-eyeing my friend
and her boyfriend too.

That’s not dark humour, it’s terrifying.

My guess is that this is a kink, and he will be getting off on your reaction of shock and disgust.
Otherwise it makes no sense to come out with inflammatory comment after inflammatory comment, just like this. Yes, he’s a bastard. But they usually hide it a bit better than this!

Isn't it just!

@HugoSpritzzz What prompted him to say all that? How did you go from “ oh I have dark humour “ to all those messages?? It looks like you haven’t replied to any of them so even more weird from him to just keep messaging?!