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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bit annoyed haven’t heard from neighbour

22 replies

Rollergirl11 · 17/08/2025 10:09

after feeding her cat for 10 days whilst they were on holiday. They arrived home on Friday morning (saw them getting their cases out of a taxi). Have not had one word of acknowledgment from them since their return.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 17/08/2025 10:11

Depends
I feed my neighbours cats when they are away and vice versa
We don't generally acknowledge when we are back but we will say thanks when we see them next. We are quite good friends though, I think if the relationship was a bit more formal maybe I would

HelpMeGetThrough · 17/08/2025 10:11

Text them “You’re welcome”.

ecuse · 17/08/2025 10:15

I'm sure they'll say it soon. They've only been home a day (today having barely started)

mrsed1987 · 17/08/2025 10:29

This wouldn't bother me

GleisZwei · 17/08/2025 10:31

You know what to say when they ask you next time, if an immediate thank you is important to you.

Imaybeoldbutstillrandy · 17/08/2025 10:35

We feed neighbour's cat & water their greenhouse when they're away. They always call around within hours of getting home with a bottle of wine to say thank you. We do the same when they reciprocate.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 17/08/2025 10:35

The best response for thankless favours is never to be available again.

That way you don't have to deal with any drama in saying anything and they will suffer the consequences of their ungratefulness.

MamaElephantMama · 17/08/2025 10:37

It would be nice to have a thank you wouldn’t it? I suspect you won’t hear until the next favour is needed.

Salome61 · 17/08/2025 10:57

Ten days is a long time, how nice of you. I am retired and live on my own and for the past few years have fed my new neighbour's cat regularly. They don't tell me when they are back, but we are on FB messenger and I am going to ask them to let me know in future as I keep looking out the window for their car.

Unicorn34 · 17/08/2025 11:25

A thank you and "we're home" is surely a standard thing for most people? I cat sit for regulars and they always let me know they're home safely, I wont give their key back unless I know just in case something has happened.

If they don't get in touch soon, you know what to say next time you're asked!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/08/2025 11:46

HelpMeGetThrough · 17/08/2025 10:11

Text them “You’re welcome”.

That is awful 'advice'. There is no need to be sarcastic about it; if they don't thank you, don't be available for the next favour. Just accept that they are ungrateful and rude and move on with your life. Don't stoop to their level.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 11:49

Possibly snowed under with unpacking and laundry and may be intending to pop over today.

It's still a bit crap though. I would've been over much sooner with a small gift and a thank you.

It only takes a few minutes.

InterestedDad37 · 17/08/2025 11:51

Stick your face through their catflap, and miaow at them 😀
Or poo on their lawn 😄😺

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 11:57

ecuse · 17/08/2025 10:15

I'm sure they'll say it soon. They've only been home a day (today having barely started)

This is what I think - I'd be surprised if they didn't say anything tomorrow when the week starts proper, but they could be shattered - operating on weird times due to jet lag - I would give them the weekend to adjust.

Cherrysoup · 17/08/2025 11:59

I agree with you, OP. I would have brought them round a gift pretty much immediately. 10 days is quite a chunk of time/commitment.

Velmy · 17/08/2025 12:03

They could have been jetlagged or had stuff to do, family to see?

I'd give it a few days, then if they don't say anything you know not to do it again.

Rollergirl11 · 17/08/2025 12:17

I will give benefit of the doubt until tomorrow because of jet lag, washing etc. I’m also slightly irked by the way she went about asking me so perhaps that is clouding my judgement.

She texted me and asked me (with only one weeks notice of them going on holiday) while we were actually away ourselves. We didn’t get back until 4 days after they left so she asked another neighbour, who is watering their plants while away, to do the first 4 days until we returned. So I did the handover with the other neighbour and haven’t actually seen the neighbour I’m doing the favour for even before.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:22

Rollergirl11 · 17/08/2025 12:17

I will give benefit of the doubt until tomorrow because of jet lag, washing etc. I’m also slightly irked by the way she went about asking me so perhaps that is clouding my judgement.

She texted me and asked me (with only one weeks notice of them going on holiday) while we were actually away ourselves. We didn’t get back until 4 days after they left so she asked another neighbour, who is watering their plants while away, to do the first 4 days until we returned. So I did the handover with the other neighbour and haven’t actually seen the neighbour I’m doing the favour for even before.

Oh that is messy and would frustrate me too - how it started I mean.

Hopefully they are sleeping, washing, unpacking... and looking for where they put the nice bottle of wine they bought for you (fingers crossed for wine and not a raffia donkey!)... and will pop over tomorrow to say thank you.

murasaki · 17/08/2025 12:34

How rude. Mine sent me an M&S voucher for doing a weekend, she really didn't need to, I was quite happy to do it.

80smonster · 17/08/2025 13:10

Poor form. We always buy our catsitters (we have a preferred set of neighbours) a gift and we do reciprocal cat sitting too. If you don’t have a cat, I probably wouldn’t ask.

Rollergirl11 · 17/08/2025 13:26

We do have a cat but I don’t ask them to cat-sit for us. Personally I think 2 weeks is too long for a cat to be left unattended so our cat goes to the Cattery he has been going to for years.

I am the preferred cat-sitter for them as their cat really likes me.

OP posts:
SeaGreenSeaGlass · 17/08/2025 13:32

It's worth remembering that people treat us how we allow them to. This episode of cat sitting is over , but what happens next time is completely in your control.

If you're not happy with how the neighbour has behaved, then don't be available next time. Personally I think she's been really disrespectful but maybe she feels you owe her, or that you love cats so much that she's doing you a favour.

Even if she does eventually thank you, you can take control by making it clear that you won't be doing it again, and recommending the cattery.

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