To feel really dissatisfied with my life? Please help me sort my life out!

[KirstTheWorst]

So there’s a lot to be happy about. An amazing husband and 2 great kids, that I am very fortunate to have. However, we just really struggle to make ends meet. We are currently renting and trying to save a house deposit. I have an incredibly small pension pot that I need to sort out, due to taking a career break when both children were small and I was a single parent at the time, with costs of childcare exceeding earnings and no family to help us. I used this time to enrol on some courses and a year ago, I completed a degree in Business. I am working full time in an admin role now, and my husband is a tradesman but has to travel for work.

The problem is, I need to progress in my career but often I am the only adult who can take the children to their after school activities, or medical appointments, or take time off when they are sick. My current employer is reasonably understanding, but I can’t imagine I would fare well on a graduate type scheme, as I just have too many commitments.

I really hate living where we live. It’s really rough and the teenagers around here all seem very bored and let’s just say they don’t take much care in the area. The adults aren’t much better.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful with my lot in life, but I really yearn for more and am struggling to make this materialise.

I just want to give my children the best childhood I can, but also succeed in my career. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

I’m 37, if that’s relevant.

Bumping in case anyone replies.

Many workplaces offer flexible working. My employer generally doesn’t give a shit about my exact hours, so long as I’m getting my work done and attending key meetings. Means I can easily nip to the shop, go to doctor/dentist appointments, or even get my nails/hair/lashes done during normal working hours and then I just work through lunch or start early/finish late to make up the time.

My advice would be to tackle one thing at a time. You’ve mentioned wanting to buy a house, change jobs, and sort out your pension pot - logically I would say focus on the job hunt first, which should result in a higher salary. Then you can prioritise buying a property, and finally the pension pot (which will be easier for you to increase when you’re earning more and potentially kids have moved out).

Is there a reason you can't move and rent in a different area, somewhere that has a nicer feel?

Weirdly, the higher up you get and increase your seniority results in more flexibility with your time.

So agree with focusing on career. However, to start that means no drop off / pick ups. You'll need to use kids clubs etc.

WFH jobs are good for when you need emergency childcare care but the downside is it can be easy to then passed over for promotions.

The best way to increase earnings is to move companies. Internal promotions tend to come with smaller pay increases. Get a plan, move up every 2 years start each new job with an understanding of the short term deliverables, get them done. Whack them on your CV and move on.

Agree with @Notsuchafattynow — drop the after school activities, use wraparound care, focus on work.

Could you start your own business? Probably your best bet of earning decent money quickly and having the flexibility regarding family life,

Yes, I am quite trapped in the area I currently live in (for reasons that will out me). When I am earning more and can buy a house, that could possibly change.

My child is very talented at a specific sport. It would be awful for me to pull them out of the classes when they have so much promise. So that’s not really an option I feel I can consider.

I have considered starting my own business but I have no idea where to begin with it. I don’t know what service or product I could offer. I do lack confidence a little, so I am sure there is something I could do to earn money this way, I just doubt myself.