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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should we move ... again?

2 replies

UsuallyHappy43 · 16/08/2025 22:59

Around 7 years ago we moved from a family house and lovely area which we'd lived and brought up our children in, for over 25 years. We had a great life there. However we decided to move because it was what my DH wanted, bigger garden more peaceful surroundings etc. We moved to the countryside to a stunning home. I loved it and settled well. My DH however didn't and became depressed and sad and slowly began to hate it. After 3 years we moved again to keep him happy. Another smallish town. Again, I settled well and loved everything about the house, the area and made new friends and hobbies. My DH however criticises the people here. He dislikes how busy it can get. Complains about dogs, litter on the high street, cars speeding, pretty much everything. He constantly refers back to where we started out and wants to move back again, but I stand my ground and keep telling him we're not going anywhere. Is it me? Am I being unreasonable? It's getting me down. He's grinding me down.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 16/08/2025 23:24

On the one hand I’d say it’s not the place so much as how he is. When I get down I think about moving as a magical fix but I know I’ll still be me no matter what place I’m in and the deeper problems won’t go away. Plus when I’m occupied and happy I stop thinking of moving. That said, if it has been downhill since you left the initial place where you’d been happier for years (albeit the kids/different life phase was no doubt a factor), then it’s possible that all these moves since have been a quest leading him back to ‘what was in his back yard all along’. I’d not sell up and move but as you’re not tied to schools etc, can you not rent in the original place for 6 months or so and see how it feels? Or even staying there in an Airbnb for a while could help bottom out how much it affects his mood and whether it’s something you want too. If you can figure out the logistics, it seems worth investigating then you can know if it’s ever going to change or not and make your own decisions accordingly.

iamnotalemon · 17/08/2025 00:30

It sounds like he may never be happy where he moves to? Moving to a new house won’t magically fix his MH problems unfortunately.

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