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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry so much?

3 replies

Dinoraore · 16/08/2025 20:00

So i have a 3.5 yo and 1.5 yo and every child is different but I have had some worries about my eldest

I'd say he was hitting social milestones a lot later but just under threshold so before a HV would be concerned. Motor skills were later. His walking was flagged and then when they rang to check he'd just started. Now he's 3.5. He is very shy and nervous around people he hasnt seen for a bit but its selective. He's okay with my best friend and his aunty both who he sees once every few months (they live in different cities) but his uncle he sees every few weeks hes very shy with. We've tried clubs with him and he is taken to swimming , football is a WIP but in both the classes I notice a different in attention span and listening. He follows instructions for a fraction of the time other kids do. Hes waiting a speech and language appointment as hes been referred, he has lots of meltdowns and we potty trained before 3 but he still has accidents when engrossed in an activity. So st least 1 a day in pre school :(

His younger sister is developing on track and some areas advanced. Even at 1.5 she is following instructions. Isn't having as many meltdowns. Speech is further etc.

I know every child is different. I am on the spectrum and thats what im thinking about with my eldest. I didnt get diagnosed until after I got diagnosed with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder at 15. I feel with some childhood help I could've prevented getting mebtally ill.

I dont want to digress but I know hes my first child of 2. So naturally these things could be normal and I dont see it. Im very isolated. 1 close friend. Small family. Dh family are distant. I don't have anyone to ask or confide in?

Im going to chase again but for 3 weeks in a row on the same day weekly I have rang the health visitor team for a calk and chat about this. The girl on the end of the phone took a message each time and I've not had a call. So its tough as I know their first point of call but im here asking advice now as im worried and cant get in touch with them

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 16/08/2025 20:11

Just keep pushing. Meanwhile get him out and about and having as many different types of experiences as possible. Things will be in place once he starts school.

Dinoraore · 16/08/2025 20:22

Ponoka7 · 16/08/2025 20:11

Just keep pushing. Meanwhile get him out and about and having as many different types of experiences as possible. Things will be in place once he starts school.

What do you mean keep pushing sorry x

Yes thank you I have noticed a difference in 6 months as we constantly go out. National trust members and zoo membership etc. We ensure we go out to lots of varied places but also an old hv (who has sadly left our service!) Gave me advice of (when the sight of family members give him meltdowns) dont stop going to see family if hes shy help him by exposing more etc. So i expose him still and dont shy away?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 16/08/2025 20:55

Yes, expose him to any experiences you can. It sounds as though there's a possibility he is ND, but early socialisation experiences make a big difference. Just keep pushing the professionals. It's the S&L that's important, but it takes time and might not happen until he starts school.

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