Husband upset me at party. Maybe over reacting?

[GiveWay]

Little gathering of friends. Chat was about crazy things young ppl do cosmetically. I told a story about a girl I know from work who gets salmon sperms injected under her eyes

Group was listening and chatting. General good mood. Then DH says "ah what did they inject you with then? Whale sperms?" to me. Everyone laughs. Then everyone goes awkward. Conversation moves swiftly on

I dont know if he was calling me fat or saying ive got big bags under my eyes. He knows im self conscious about both

Then when we get a moment he looks at me and says "only a joke love" as he must have seen how awkward it was.

He has a habit of doing this. He says he doesn't mean any harm and hes just making ppl laugh

How would people react? He is awkward socially and gets jokes wrong.

Im in the taxi on way home and I've tried to ask him but he is getting annoyed and just saying didn't mean anything.

I'd have to do something like an exaggerated look at my watch and say, crikey you lasted a whole hour without a crack at me, you're slipping. Then carry on talking to someone else. Fucking twat.

What the actual fuck??

You need to speak to him and say how hurt you are by this because it really isn't ok.

Private banter is one thing but in public like that is just a no!

However, im a right sarky cow and quick as a whip would have come back with something that really would have stung him.

Make sure you store some responses up. Let's see how he likes it. Doesn't need to be done in public but putting the shoe on the other foot for a while may well pay off.

Yes, but you shouldn't want to physically insult the person you're in a relationship with anyway tbh...

That isnt a joke .
That is him being deliberately nasty to you infront of other people and thinking he can get away with it by calling it " a joke".
He's a horrible piece of work who doesnt seem to even like you OP and who enjoys putting you down.

You think it’s funny to be equated with a whale?

Making people laugh, at your expense is not acceptable.

He has a habit of doing this. He says he doesn't mean any harm and he's just making ppl laugh yes, but at your expense.

I hate men who constantly try to put down their girlfriend/wife. I don't think you are being oversensitive. He is putting you down in front of other people. He knows you are upset and instead of apologising he excuses his comment.

I would be thinking long and hard about whether you want this type of person for a partner.

Horrible nasty bully.

Even if we’re completely generous and accept his (lame-arse) explanation that it was a joke, he still owes you an apology.
Even if we overlook the fact that it was a shit joke at your expense, you have told him that it upset and embarrassed you and, instead of apologising, he’s getting irritated.
He’s too emotionally immature to own his mistake. It’s a deeply unattractive way to behave.
Is he usually too immature to accept responsibility for his actions in other area of life?

He's absolute trash - time to get rid or just start bullying him back.

If he's fat, bald or not a high earner it's time to ti put the boot in.

Maybe bully him for being so insecure that he needs to be perceived as funny

What a spiteful little man. I wouldn’t waste another second of my life with such a shit stain of an excuse for a partner.

Ha bloody ha. Maybe (maybe) he meant it as a joke but you've made it clear that you find it rude and upsetting. Will he stop or will he continue?

At best, he is so socially inept and emotionally stunted that he's unable to understand it was insulting and hurtful. At best.

At worst, he's a cruel bastard who enjoys putting you down in public and upsetting you.

Only he knows where he is on the scale, but given that the at best option is still absolutely terrible, he needs to do some serious work to step off the scale entirely.

I would point this out to him and if he continues to do this then I would leave him. You deserve better.

”I’m in the taxi on way home and I've tried to ask him but he is getting annoyed and just saying didn't mean anything.”

What right does he have to be getting annoyed? You’ve called him out on his inappropriate behaviour and he clearly doesn’t like it.

Sorry you had to experience this and don’t doubt yourself, you are not overreacting.

To be honest I’m with your husband on this, you told a weird story taking the piss out of young women, he returned in kind - following your lead. I mean, does anyone really want to discuss “salmon sperm human injections” at a party? It sounds like you awkwardly said whatever popped into your head with zero filter, and he did the same thing. Both of you sound socially awkward.

Assuming he’s socially inept but you want to keep him around, give him an absolute rule.

Dave, from now on, do not use me in any of your so called jokes. They aren’t funny and it’s unkind.
Leave me out of it, find a better way to make yourself feel more comfortable.

Gosh he’s cruel. I wouldn’t be able to get over that. I couldn’t stand the person who’s supposed to love me the most mocking me spitefully for cheap laughs.

It’s polynucleotides. It’s a common treatment. The OP was joining in the thread of the conversation. Her husband mocked her cruelly for an awkward laugh. He’s a cunt.

I couldn't be in love with/married to a person who humiliated me in front of other people like this. It's the behaviour of someone who doesn't like you.

LTB

It sounds like she was just contributing to the conversation that was already going on; she didn't just say it out of the blue. His comment was mean and not necessary.

He brought up something in front of other people that he knows she's self-conscious about just to get a laugh. Getting a laugh from people at a party was more important to him than his wife's feelings. It's not ok for your spouse to do that. It not ok for anyone to do that, but really really not for your spouse.

Sorry to hear that your husband treats you like this OP.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

He's told you who he is; a wife bashing twat. The ball is in your court. Courage!!! (In a French accent, it sounds better 😉)