Social Anxiety

[Apple1247]

I feel like my social anxiety has gotten worse as I have gotten older. Even though I have cut down drinking I am struggling with too many social events in a short space of time. This includes things like children’s birthday parties as well as trying to make friends with the mums at the children’s school. I feel like if I don’t agree to events then this will be detrimental to the children but when I do I am so drained afterwards and can feel my heart racing. In the moment I think I do OK but afterwards I overthink everything that I have said and done. I worry about awkward silence's then worry myself that I have talked too much and people think I am self centred when I am just trying to be sociable. The only time I am relaxed is with my OH or old friends of 15+ years. AIBU to start saying no to things more or is that likely to make me feel worse when I become an outsider?

Have you got any professional help for this OP? If not, I would do that.

I think part of it when you have kids is doing it for them even if you don’t want to, especially things like parties because if you stop going then they will stop getting invited, start getting left out etc.

It sounds like you are an introvert and your battery is drained from too much socialising. It's okay to plan a quiet time for yourself as a 'reward' for attending parties etc. That's how I get through it. Once your kids reach a certain age they no longer need for you to be with them at events so that's something to look forward to. Just be yourself as much as possible. Generally, like minded people attract each other so you might meet others of a similar mindset at these events which is a bonus.