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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In a word. No.

5 replies

abijanzo · 16/08/2025 18:00

Grief is utterly brutal in the initial phase.
you absolutely do not feel that way forever though. It changes, I can assure you of that.
There is hope for brighter days and a time when the pain does not feel like it will consume you. You will live and go on and be happy. You will remember him with love and fondness and smiles one day. The pain does not stay the same. If it did, no one would ever go on, but we do, and so will you.
so sorry for your loss .

OP posts:
PashaMinaMio · 16/08/2025 18:05

This is so true. Nailed it.

Bereavement grief or relationship breakdown and loss grief brings deep misery just the same.

It is not linear, comes in waves and has no set time limit.

I for one can guarantee it gets better. Might take a while but we learn to live with it and smile again. 💐

Bloodyhrt · 16/08/2025 18:05

I’m sorry for your loss.

BeachPebbleWave · 16/08/2025 18:18

So sorry for your loss. I think the sentiment is well meaning but misguided.

I remember being so crippled with grief I wondered if I’d ever function again. At the same time I didn’t want to imagine a world where I was happy without him in it. I didn’t want to think of a place where there were more days between him breathing, laughing, being, than that moment of grief where he’d done all those things just a few days ago.

Don’t feel you need to be rushed out of the space you are in.

xx

Bloodyhrt · 16/08/2025 18:20

I didn’t want anyone to tell me it would get better. That was diminishing the person I lost. It was reducing my love for them. Or at least. That’s how I felt.

Homeandgarden · 16/08/2025 19:18

Grief is such an individual experience.

Personally I've never got over the death of my baby son 50 years ago and the traumatic circumstances around his birth, death and the way it altered the path of my life. And since my H died 20 years ago I feel as though I'm living in dream - life doesnt seem real.
Of course I have happiness and laughter in my life, and enjoyment. But there isnt a day goes by when I don't feel sad about those dearly missed. But as @PashaMinaMio
said we learn to live with it.

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