Grief is utterly brutal in the initial phase.
you absolutely do not feel that way forever though. It changes, I can assure you of that.
There is hope for brighter days and a time when the pain does not feel like it will consume you. You will live and go on and be happy. You will remember him with love and fondness and smiles one day. The pain does not stay the same. If it did, no one would ever go on, but we do, and so will you.
so sorry for your loss .