I used to post under various names of Redstripelassie about 7 years plus ago.

[RedstripeAlias]

I don't know if anyone remembers or cares at all as I'm sure this forum has changed posters loads.

I haven't really posted about my life for a long time but thought I'd update you hopefully put the minds of any long suffering helpful posters back in the day at rest.

It took a long time but things are better now.

I should have of course left my ex about 10 years ago and did briefly 9 years ago but finally managed it this year.

I've addressed my own issues with drink/substances and whilst I'm not perfect I'm working on it.

The 3 year old I used to post about is now in high school! Doing well but with a lots of behaviour problems behind closed doors. We have involvement with the right people and I feel so guilty. My younger one is doing well too.
I sound vague about them but that's not because I don't care but because I don't want to go into further details about my kids incase anything is identifiable.

I'm sorry it took me being an attention seeking twat on here to finally realise how shit our life was. I was deliberately annoying and goady at times on Mumsnet whilst telling the exact truth but pretending I was naive or didn't care. I guess it was a way of validating my deeper feelings that things weren't right but pretending I thought it was fine.

Thank you to the wise women that helped souch even if it should have happened years ago.

All my shitposting here helped me avoid actually telling people in real life. I didn't to break through that final wall before I could leave for good.

I remember you (and the weed in the playground!) I’m so pleased you’re finally moving upwards without your DP holding onto your ankles.

Not good at giving advice sorry but you’ve done so well finally kicking him loose. (I can’t believe your threads were so long ago -terrifying how quickly the time moves!)

@WeirdANDSadTimes
I know it's been ages but sometimes feels like yesterday.

Life is better now, freer.

I remember you too, I'm so pleased you got out and things are on the up. Well done

I remember you too. Bloody well done & i hope things keep getting better.

Thanks @EmpressaurusKitty , I think I remember your name but not sure!!

I've been trying to read back through a few threads to see what I've come from but it makes me feel a bit sick. The guilt I feel towards my dc is horrendous.

I remember you.

This is a great update. 🌼

I’ve namechanged several times but always Empress or Empressaurus something.

And coming from someone who fucked up 10 years of her life, it’s now, & how you’re fixing things, that’s important.

I remember you too now that the playground has been mentioned.
He was smoking, checked out, it was very sad.
I'm delighted for you.
I remember you took a good bashing on threads at times.
I'm absolutely delighted for you. Well done, congratulations.
Believe it or not, your story randomly popped into my head at times, after your threads.
Truly delighted for you. 💖

Let go of the guilt. You're here now, present in the moment, the past is gone, guilty feelings won't be any good.
Don't re-read or revisit your old threads.

Thanks, the guilt isn't going anywhere for a while.
They still see their Dad every week.

It took for him to be too regularly screaming threats about punching me in the face in from of them and pushing/shoving me to do anything.

They saw and heard way too much and I used various downers just to check out of life.

Actually that's I lie, I tolerated that abuse but them he bruised our eldest aged 12yrs when she didn't back down. I'm now hated because a year ago in the last summer holiday I promised I'd leave and didn't till a few months ago.

That's really tough, continue to be better for them, it'll take time for everyone to heal from this.

@EmeraldShamrock000 thanks, I'm trying everyday to be better but my 12yr old is very angry understandably.

I got a lot of flack, well meaning and sometimes no.

i remember you.. i remember posting because when it was going on, i'd recently finally taken the plunge to leave my own marriage, finally, after years of posting on and off about it, leaving, going back, trying again, leaving again..etc.

I wish you as much peace in your future as i've found in the 8 years since i found my freedom.

Keep working on it!

I remember you. I’m thrilled you got out. You can build a better relationship with your child. My mother didn’t get out until I was an adult. Too late for me. You’ve been so strong. (I’ve wondered over the years if you could get away. You’ve made my night by saying you did!!!) Wishing you a brighter future.

She is lashing out, as shit as it feels, it will improve.
Try not react to her when she is lashing out.
She is at a difficult age.
Hang in there, you are her safe place.

I remember you. Well done for leaving and I hope things can improve with your DD now.

I remember you. I'm glad you've LTB

@Wolfiefan I remember you too!
That's what I'm focusing on now. The dc

I’m so so happy for you. This is the start of better things. X