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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this a reaction to trauma?

2 replies

Wondall · 16/08/2025 08:19

throughout my childhood I latched on to various adults outside of my parents. The first one was a primary school teacher when I was five or six. I remember waiting by the door before she left for the day (and the late class began with someone else) and I would rush to hug her and ask her to stay. I was obsessed with her.

later, I latched on to an older neighbour in her sixties and I would spend every evening with her from the age of 11 to 14. I was desperate to be around her and she was my main focus in life.

theres been other people along the way too, for shorter durations. But almost like I was looking for an anchor. I have had a terrible time in my twenties with relationships and fear of being alone and only now in my thirties am I starting to recognise i did some strange things growing up. Could this have been a response to trauma? Does every child develop attachments like this?

OP posts:
FloraBotticelli · 16/08/2025 08:25

It could be that you weren’t getting the anchoring/security you needed from your parents, so you looked for it elsewhere. Have you delved into attachment styles at all? There’s a good website here which has a reflective questionnaire on how you are in relationships. www.yourpersonality.net/attachment/index.php?

Murphia · 16/08/2025 08:41

Yes this sounds familiar OP I was the exact same as you

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