To put anonymous letter through neighbours door about their dog

[Whatisgoingonheredear]

A neighbour has a little dog that barks all day, for ages.
Starts at about 6am. Runs outside, barks for about 5 minutes solid.
Will happen throughout the day, including if anyone walks past, pulls up, if anyone has a delivery, if anyone goes to their car or bin. Usually does it's last round of barking at about 10 - 10.30pm. Barks when leaving for walks and when arriving back from walks.

It's been grinding on me for a while but is now seriously pissing me off. I'm not sure if they're blind to it. It isn't one or two barks and will go on for minutes at a time. When they first got this dog they'd occasionally say "no" or "stop" (which obviously didn't work) but I am not sure if they have made any other attempts to do anything about this.

I am dreadful with any sort of confrontation and would prefer to put an anonymous note through the door, saying I am not sure if they realise the frequency of the barking and is there anything they could do to please reduce this.

I also really feel for the dog as it must be constantly on edge.

WIBU to do this? I don't want to report to the council.

I can fully understand the preference for an anonymous note to be honest. People who have the sheer temerity to let their dog bark and bark and bark without any consideration for their neighbours, often aren't the type of people who will respond well to a doorstep chat about it. Same with loud music, shouting, and other general selfishness for neighbours.

Totally agree

Exactly this. I completely agree.

All those saying ‘Don’t be a coward’ Why should OP go round if she doesn’t want to? It should never get to the stage in the first place where a dog barks and yaps all day long enough to piss off your neighbours. They clearly don’t give a shit so why should OP ‘do the right thing’. The owners clearly don’t care or have respect so that tells me there’s a good chance they won’t take it well.

If your dog is outside barking, understand that neighbours
will absolutely hear it barking. The problem these days are folk are selfish!

Putting a letter through the door gives them a chance to rectify it. Bear in mind OP some people replying to this post will be that person who lets their dogs bark their heads off. I’d post the letter via Royal Mail so no worries anyone will see.

Good luck. It’s just crap you’re having to deal with this full stop! Selfish dog owners!

Then you’d receive a letter from the council who would take action if they agreed the dog was causing a nuisance (or whatever was causing the nuisance)

Write a letter if you don't like confrontation, but not an anonymous one, it's horrid not knowing who is pissed off with you.

In that letter, make it clear you understand that fixing the barking won't be an overnight instant fix sort of thing - and direct them to a free resource that can help - the facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support is great, people only get answers from dog training/behaviour professionals (not other group members) so the advice is safe and is tailored to each poster. (It's the one with over 300K users not one of the smaller ones of the same name, they're awful unfortunately).

I would recommend they don't use the dog flap.
Take the dog out on a lead for its morning toilet not open the door and let it barrel out alone - that usually solves the first trip out barking.
Use frosted film on the windows the dog looks out of.
Counter condition noises so the dog thinks they're a GOOD thing.
Then its really just the excitement of going for a walk thats a bit of a pain to fix (it means swapping walks for multiple short trips in and out so the novelty value drops entirely, but until that happens the dog is likely to bark its absolute tits off).

Just pop over, be nice but say it’s a problem and you didn’t know if they realised how much he was barking. I had to do this at a previous house. She wasn’t aware of how clearly we heard it (due to open windows) and wasn’t aware it was going on when she was out. I think it’s better than being anonymous as that’ll make them feel uneasy and could cause ill feeling. Our old neighbour did try and luckily she moved a year or so later. Some breeds can be very yappy, my sister has two little dogs like this, they bark and yap even if a blooming bird flies past the window. Drives me insane when visiting, and I have two dogs myself, but mine are a large laid back breed.

I’m afraid that between you and your DH one of you is going to have to have the courage to speak to your neighbours about this.

Or move. Or move job.

Both of which seem quite extreme.

Or just put up with it as you have done for years.

You’ve set out unreasonable outcomes none of which op needs to adhere to
Send anonymous letter state dog barking is inappropriate ask they address it

It was an accusation that I had done something and was a threat to report me to authorities along with a very unpleasant "gift" l don't know who sent it and I don't consider it an over reaction

You should have a conversation with your neighbour, not a confrontation.

anonymous notes are much more likely to cause hostility and argument than a low key face to face meet up.

Why not just knock on and speak to your neighbour about it?

We’ve got a rescue dog - she was 6 months old when we got her and for the last 6 months we’ve had her she barks a lot too.

We strongly believe that she has been caged for the first 6 months of her life, not been walked or socialised and also beaten. The only reason we have her is that she thankfully got handed in to a police station and we took her in from there.

Yes we say no to her, yes we are trying to train her, we are trying!!!! Your neighbours might be exactly the same with theirs. It’s hard - not all dogs are easy to train - and I’m anxious too every time I leave the house with her, conscious about her barking. Just speak to your neighbour about it!

See, all good polite conversations and low key is wholly dependent on neighbour being reasonable- what if they aren’t ? Potential to escalate and they’re work colleagues too
@Whatisgoingonheredear has said she and her husband don’t want a direct conversation, husband wants a note too
In term of managing risk The real life impact could have repercussions
Polite and measured only work if the recipient is listening, is receptive and will initiate the requested change eg stop dog barking

Definitely don’t send an anon letter.

To give the other side of the story, I am a person with an extremely yappy dog which I’m aware my neighbours can hear.

Any and all efforts to train her to bark less have so far failed, so the methods I have taken to minimise the impact are:

Bring her in immediately if she starts barking when in the garden.
Drop her to my parents house any time I am going to be out of the house for longer than an hour - my parents live in the countryside and have a dog she loves playing with, her barking is so much less at their house! My house is in an extremely busy area so someone simply walking past the house will set her off.
If she starts barking in the house I move her to one of the rooms at the back of the house so she can’t see/react to bypassers.
I keep her contained in the kitchen when someone is coming to the door, as this really sets her off.

Go and speak to them, and maybe suggest some of the things above, it is of course not possible to stop dogs barking altogether, but they should be working to minimise it as you are entitled to peace in your own home.

I think I would actually appreciate someone talking to me directly if there was an issue with my dog disturbing them. Can't your hubby bring it up with the guy on a casual chat at work?! I wouldn't go via the council as these days neighbour "disputes" if it classes as that, can cause issues if selling your property. Otherwise if it's barking maybe start to call it's name or something from your garden see if it stops it and then they might notice too that you are calling it and do something! 6am is very early though I take my dog out on the lead if he needs to go out that early and also before bed if it's after 9.30 I will take him on the lead too as we have young families surrounding us and I don't want to disturb them with him barking.

You could put a nice letter through the door saying you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, but also can they please get the dog to stop barking as it’s miserable to live with this noise

personally, I think letting your dog relentlessly bark theyve already broken the social contract, it’s incredibly rude and there’s no harm in an anonymous letter. Like you say, if you out yourself as the one who’s bothered and they don’t take it well it’s you who will suffer and you are already suffering.

Barking dogs are a regular anonymous posting on neighbour hood forums. If the dog owner ignores the post and anonymous letter, which they always seem to the poster informs the council. The nearby neighbours all say it was not me, it does not bother me. Council tell complainant they must speak to neighbour, all anonymity is gone. Feud escalates, council call, speak with dog owner, record and say noise is not unreasonable. Dog dies six months later, no one speaks to complainant for next 10 years.

Much better to do it via the council, no one takes notice of letters through the door unless they are official.

I had this problem for two years. I sent around four letters signed by me so she knew who it was telling her how stressed out I was from her dogs barking. Letters didn't do that much. Finally went around knocked on her door and introduced myself. I explained again and she said she would do her best to take the dog in when it started barking. Things have been much better since, so I would say go around. If that doesn't work then you have the council as a back up. Keep a note of when you are disturbed so you can advise the council if needed.

Anonymous letters are really unpleasant even when the wording is polite. If you can't feel you can speak to them (and I think you should work on that!) then at least send them a polite letter signed by you. It doesn't have to be anonymous.

Ours barely barks, but no idea how I'd stop it, I don't think they can do much so don't expect much from it.

Funnily enough my neighbour moaned about my dog barking - he was barking for a few mins one eve. She’s been rude and cold ever since I moved in to be honest. The irony is that her dog frequently barked during the night and I never complained. Her dog would also bark whenever I went outside in my own garden. So the fact that I now have a dog that occasionally barks yet she complains really pisses me off

Don’t write a poison pen letter, report to the council or appropriate authorities.

I would say speak to gem but honestly what kind of neighbour doesn't KNOW that barking dogs are a nuisance and it can become disruptive. My neighbour is the same, a dog with a high pitched bark that barks all day and it's been going on for two years and there's clearly no training going on.

Those saying dogs aren't easy to train etc. Totally appreciate this. A behaviourist lives a few doors down they could ask if they wanted to (I know they haven't). They don't seem to be making any efforts to do anything regarding training, because if they were, I wouldn't moan.

I don't expect silence but there is a difference between normal barking and excessive barking. Excessive barking isn't fair to the dog (who is clearly unsettled) or neighbours.