To think that when someone is flustered, their first response is often the truth?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I’ve noticed that when people are caught off guard, their initial reaction is usually the most honest. It’s only after they have a moment to think that they start filtering, backtracking or rewording. Whether it’s in an argument, being put on the spot or reacting to unexpected news, doesn’t the first thing out of someone’s mouth often reveal what they really think?

Not always. If a cheeky fucker asks for a massive favour, a lot of people are so taken aback they say yes before coming on here and being told how ridiculous it is!

But if you’re talking about someone’s face falling when they’ve heard that you’re getting a promotion / engaged / pregnant / back with your ex, then yeah, I’d say the initial reaction is the true one.

I think the reverse. I sometimes find myself flustered and saying the first thing that comes into my head and then having to backtrack because what I’ve said is complete bullshit. Isn’t there a great thread around somewhere on the same lines where people have been stuck in a ridiculous lie they said because they were caught off guard?

Same here. If I’m flustered or caught off guard I’m not deliberately lying per se, I just say the first thing that pops in my head, which can be bizarre.

Like although I intended to tell the teacher that my Dad destroyed my science project in a drunken rage, I chickened out at the last minute when it was due and I had nothing to turn in, the teacher asked why and I did a “no shit there I was late at night, working away with the window open and then this massive owl flew in…”

I still do it as an adult and no idea why I do it. I think I panic

No, for me, I often just spout nonsense if I'm flustered or put on the spot.

For me it’s the opposite.

I think my first reaction with something that has surprised me is to try to people please. Especially if my actual response is in opposition to whatever the person has said. I really struggle with conflict and can't go into a potential conflict situation unprepared. I'm always amazed when people can say "no, I disagree" to something with no embarrassment or deflecting. Fairly sure this is immensely unhealthy though, so I'm working on it!

In an argument people occasionally trip themselves up because they blurt out something that contradicts their own position (and may be more reflective of what they really know to be true deep down), but in every other scenario a knee-jerk response is more likely to be panicky nonsense. Certainly the case IME!

Definitely not. A classic example is the people pleaser saying yes to something they really don’t want to do for fear of giving offence. And I think a lot of people default to an untruth they think will please or get them off the hook when put in a tight spot. I know someone who actually accepted a proposal because it happened in public, and she wanted to save face, and then immediately said no afterwards.

No I spout nonsense too, and it's the only time I ever lie. I was once asked how I got to a job interview unexpectedly as I was leaving and for some weird reason blurted out I'd walked and was interrupted by another panel member saying they saw me arrive by taxi, I doubled down and insisted I'd walked, I have no idea why I said it and still cringe, I looked really untrustworthy and could see by their faces I had no chance at getting the job. It's the sort of thing I do a lot. I often tell people I don't do hobbies I really enjoy too if suddenly put on the spot with a question about it.