To be a bit annoyed/disappointed about this?

Famiyissues89 · 2025-08-15T16:12:36+00:00

My two relatives were meant to come to stay. Its been planned for the last 7 months. I planned out our 3 days together to make sure there were things theyd enjoy, bought food in, found and booked a restaurant based on what they said they wanted to eat. Spent my only day off blitzing the house, prepped the guest bedroom so it was all nice. One of them has got a cold so isnt coming. Told the other one to still come and she has cancelled saying it be better to come when we can all meet up. But didnt even make a comment to say thanks for going to the effort or acknowledge how long we've had it planned or anything. AIBU to feel a bit put out? They knew id planned everything, bought food. I would have at least made a comment to say sorry I know youve planned/bought stuff. For context, the two relatives are related but not a couple and dont live together.

Macaroni46 · 15/08/2025 17:15

I think if/when they ask to rearrange I’d be unavailable. To not come because of a cold is pathetic.

AgentPidge · 15/08/2025 17:17

What a shame. At least you have time off, food in and a lovely clean house. Enjoy it! Such bad manners to not acknowledge the trouble you'd gone to. It would be a while before I invited them again. Do you have a friend you'd like to invite over for a meal?

MCF86 · 15/08/2025 17:18

I don't think it's unreasonable not to come if feeling crappy - they won't want to be busy doing stuff and you don't want to catch it, but not unreasonable to be disappointed and have wanted some acknowledgement either!

Original poster

Famiyissues89 · 15/08/2025 17:21

MCF86 · 15/08/2025 17:18

I don't think it's unreasonable not to come if feeling crappy - they won't want to be busy doing stuff and you don't want to catch it, but not unreasonable to be disappointed and have wanted some acknowledgement either!

Only one of them is ill, the other one is fine and could have come

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BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 17:22

It's a shame, but your house is lovely now to relax in. You can invite friends to make up your restaurant booking numbers.

theres a fair bit of Covid around now, just showing 'as a cold' in many but causing long Covid to others. Be thankful they might be sparing you being really ill.

but yes, no apology is pretty rude.

Original poster

Famiyissues89 · 15/08/2025 17:24

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 17:22

It's a shame, but your house is lovely now to relax in. You can invite friends to make up your restaurant booking numbers.

theres a fair bit of Covid around now, just showing 'as a cold' in many but causing long Covid to others. Be thankful they might be sparing you being really ill.

but yes, no apology is pretty rude.

None of my friends are free unfortunately as one of them gave me 48 hours notice and the other one gave me 24 hours notice. Its the summer holidays so people are busy arent they. Ive actually now got a whole weekend on my own

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BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 23:01

Famiyissues89 · 15/08/2025 17:24

None of my friends are free unfortunately as one of them gave me 48 hours notice and the other one gave me 24 hours notice. Its the summer holidays so people are busy arent they. Ive actually now got a whole weekend on my own

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I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do.

i can't really relate as it seems like 'a pass' to me to have a lively weekend by myself, no one else to please, fiid in, in an immaculately clean house (so no housework). Absolute bliss!

yes people are away/busy and it's short notice, but surely someone is free if you still want to go to the restaurant - have you actually asked people, or just made assumptions?. Personally I'd cancel & just enjoy being home alone!

im sorry if that doesn't appeal to you.

Velmy · 16/08/2025 03:11

These things happen. I do understand the other person not coming if it was supposed to be the three of you.

It would have been nice if they'd have been a bit more apologetic though.

Eenameenadeeka · 16/08/2025 03:58

It's a shame they didn't apologize, maybe they didn't realize how much you had planned and organized for them? On the plus side, you've got a lovely clean house to relax in for the weekend 😊

Monty27 · 16/08/2025 04:27

@Famiyissues89 You'll know the next time. Although if it was me there wouldn't be one.
At least you have the house sorted so enjoy it.

clotheslinefiasco · 16/08/2025 04:40

AgentPidge · 15/08/2025 17:17

What a shame. At least you have time off, food in and a lovely clean house. Enjoy it! Such bad manners to not acknowledge the trouble you'd gone to. It would be a while before I invited them again. Do you have a friend you'd like to invite over for a meal?

Agree with this!

I also think your relatives were v. rude

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 16/08/2025 07:37

I think "a cold" can be variable, sometimes it's really horrible and they might need to be in bed all weekend so I do think that's reasonable (although 48 hrs notice is a bit weird because quite often you're feeling much better after 48 hrs). The other probably should have come anyway, although you just never know what goes on in people's heads.
Honestly, I think this is a classic "let them" case, you're totally allowed to feel annoyed, disappointed and frustrated at all the work you put in. However, they are entitled to cancel, and you can't do anything about it really. So you've a choice - spend the weekend feeling annoyed and upset and stewing OR make the best of it, cook yourself something delicious, eat the snacks you bought, enjoy your immaculate house and do something you actually want to do or that you've been putting off due to lack of time.
At the end of the day, the only person who will feel it, if you're annoyed, is you and the only person whose behaviour you can control is your own. So your best bet (if you can) is to move past it and still enjoy your weekend (yes, it will be less fun, but it'll be even worse if you stew on all your annoyed feelings).
They're clearly a bit flakey, which is a shame, some people are. You can dwell on it but you can't change it. If you arrange again, I'd make the bed last minute, have a quick dust and ask them to bring food to save yourself undue effort if they don't arrive. Sorry your weekend didn't go as planned OP...

JLou08 · 16/08/2025 08:01

I'd be annoyed and disappointed too. It is really hard knowing what to do with colds these days though. I was moaned at for going into to the office with a cold this week. Some people still have the covid mindset and think we should be isolating with every sniffle. The other relative might have thought it would be better all round to rearrange for when you can all meet. They may also not realise the effort you put in, not everyone makes an effort to host visitors.

SliceofTosst · 16/08/2025 08:51

I'd be disappointed they didn't acknowledge your input too.

In the meantime revel in your lovely tidy hone with delicious food this weekend. Spoil yourself!

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 16/08/2025 08:56

Sometimes a cold makes you feel really rough though

As an introvert, I would be so relieved and I'd have a clean house to boot 😂

largeprintagathachristie · 16/08/2025 08:57

I would have needed to spend time blitzing my spare room in these circumstances (if I had a spare room) but I guess I wouldn’t expect prospective guests to be aware of it or factor that in to any go/no go decisions on their part.

So I think you need to let go of that bit.

beAsensible1 · 16/08/2025 08:58

Famiyissues89 · 15/08/2025 17:24

None of my friends are free unfortunately as one of them gave me 48 hours notice and the other one gave me 24 hours notice. Its the summer holidays so people are busy arent they. Ive actually now got a whole weekend on my own

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Have you actually asked or assume they’re busy due to summer?

beAsensible1 · 16/08/2025 09:01

You could always be honest and call your relative and say you were looking forward to some Company and can they come anyway?

Original poster

Famiyissues89 · 16/08/2025 09:33

beAsensible1 · 16/08/2025 08:58

Have you actually asked or assume they’re busy due to summer?

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I have asked because I didnt want to spend the weekend on my own

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Original poster

Famiyissues89 · 16/08/2025 09:33

beAsensible1 · 16/08/2025 09:01

You could always be honest and call your relative and say you were looking forward to some Company and can they come anyway?

Its too late now unfortunately, they wouldnt make the train

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Original poster

Famiyissues89 · 16/08/2025 09:34

largeprintagathachristie · 16/08/2025 08:57

I would have needed to spend time blitzing my spare room in these circumstances (if I had a spare room) but I guess I wouldn’t expect prospective guests to be aware of it or factor that in to any go/no go decisions on their part.

So I think you need to let go of that bit.

I think for me its just being conscientious of the fact that if youre going to stay with someone, they will have put effort into things like that

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